"He did what?!"
His disgruntled scream rolled up in the air, it's been there for a while now, the anger, escaping like the heat out of the lid. Along with that, the fear in his eyes is immeasurable, like throwing him over the edge, turning him into someone different - his other side he don't want to see. 
Jungwon was in a heated conversation with Jay after learning about the Enhypen's center, Lee Heeseung, made an impulsive decision running away with Choi Aerin, and Jay helping them out, and he, as their leader, was left with no knowledge at all.
"I can't believe you outplayed me, Jay Hyung. I can now clearly understand why Yuki-nim burst out like that. How could you let Heeseung Hyung run away with Choi Aerin?!" with gritting teeth and his jaw in tense, he was breathless with anger. 
"Why are you all making impulsive decisions without telling me? I'm your leader and I'm the last to know?! I couldn't believe you just shove me off and went ahead with your absurd plan!" Jungwon continued to spat expletive words against all his members.
"I'm sorry, Won, but Heeseung Hyung begged me to help him out. I can't stand seeing him so wrecked. I was just trying to help." Jay defended himself.
"Then what about me?! You can stand seeing me like this?! Being bummed out?! Helping Heeseung Hyung runaway, do you think that helped?! Well, sorry to tell you this,  but losing our center, we're doomed to fail! We can't lose our ace!'
Shouting at an older member is totally repugnant. He never once shouted at any of them but repressing his anger will just result to a much bigger rage. It's boiling up, imposible to cool it down. It explodes, they all bare tha brunt.
"Won--" Sunoo tried to pacify. "We can't solve a problem if you will blow up just like that."
"Yuki-nim is already on his way to fetch Heeseung Hyung." Jake butts in.
"What if he won't come? Heeseung Hyung already chose Choi Aerin. Are we disbanding now?" the fear on Ni-Ki's face was visible.
Jungwon scoffed, hard enough to be heard as being sarcastic. "Chances are, disbandment is higher than your height, maknae."
With lightning fired in his eyes, he walked out, leaving his members in a fog. Jungwon stepped out because he's turning hot under the collar and to stop himself to create further damage, he needs to leave fast. His words are slicing enough to break someone's bones, ego, or even his members hearts, hence, the emancipation.
He likes dark but never realized he'll find it soothing too. The unlit room was like a place out of time. a place to rest without consequence. The absence of light was a sanctuary, a place to finally breathe and forget the things he had said and done. 
It wasn't that he couldn't or wouldn't apologize after he gets to clean up his thoughts, but rather that he needed the sense of stepping out of the madness for a while. So, in the darkness that stole even his own form, Jungwon was content to let the night pass and be awake when day comes, hoping for a better solution.
"Am I allowed to enter?" Sunghoon's voice is stagnant but the concern is profound.
The last person he thought would approach him is Park Sunghoon. Given their rift, the cold shoulder is still continuing, but it's nothing compare to the present matter they are all facing. Despite the unfortunate circumstance, their group's strong attachment is still winning against any disputes.
"I didn't mean to go off like that." he answered, turning the searchlight on.
"I understand. Who wouldn't be? You felt betrayed." Sunghoon chuckles resonated across the room, the sardonic sound hits him like a boomerang.
"I'm sorry, Hyung--"
"No. I am sorry. I'm sorry for judging you before hearing your side. I should have listened first, right? My childish ego got me so plugged."
When the heart's open, saying sorry is not difficult to say. it is offered as a profound gift of healing for both. Sunghoon can still remember the harm, yet the apology files it away, so he stamped it with a seal.
"Are you saying that because you're also feeling Ni-Ki's fear?"
Sunghoon shrugged. "I don't know what to feel. If ever that happens, at least, we patch things up, right?"
"I'm sorry for failing you. This group. You sacrifice your first love to be an idol and yet-- I should've done better."
"Stop blaming yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. Heeseung Hyung let his emotions take him away. I understand him but--" Sunghoon stopped and shook his head. "Ah, fuck love. Sometimes you need it too but it will get the madness out of you."
Jungwon freed a forceful laugh. Yes, love. It's so complex even him couldn't even understand.
"Tell me honestly." Sunghoon muttered, looking at him with deep eyes. "Did you fell in love with Hyejin? Or are you still?"
Jungwon's stiff shoulders jolted in surprise. He wasn't ready for that unforeseen questioning. It feels like his brain stuttered for a moment and amidst the blur, his eyes take in more light than he expected. Why does he always felt astonished by just hearing the sound of her name?
"Why are we having this conversation right now?" he jested, "Seriously, that's not the main problem here, Hyung."
"I told you I should've listened.  I was quick to jump into conclusions. Now is the chance."
Silence is a fine tailor when one's thoughts are silken thread. Jungwon couldn't get a grip to give an answer. If only Park Sunghoon's can hear the sound of his heart, he'll know the answer before he could say a single word.
"You don't have to say anything." Sunghoon laughed, reading his thoughts. "Your face says it all. Why, you idiot. Why Hyejin? She's young. You are both young."
"Is there any age limit for love?" he jokes back.
"Screw you." Sunghoon released an exasperated sigh, then a burst of chortles he can't control.
Jungwon laughed back. It was a temporary relief for all the hurdles that's attacking him like flying grenades. 
"Hyejin and I danced in the Matchmaker's Ball." he finally admitted. "Before going there with Yeji, I was aware about the ball but was clueless on how it works. Yeji begged me not to tell you. Hyejin was there too. Our bands ignites the same color." 
It never felt so good to reminisce, like a touch of ice on a warm skin, comforting his rapid thoughts. 
"That lying rascal." Sunghoon blurted, referring to his own sister. "I found the Matchmaker's Ball a little cringy. I never took part of it."
"It's not as awful as you think it is." Jungwon defended.
"Tsss." Sunghoon threw a pillow straight to his face. "Not for you because you got to dance with the girl you like. If it goes the other way, it surely is awkward."
Jungwon chuckled, quite amused. Surely, it was awkward. But that night, luck was on his side, he danced with Hyejin as he beamed with pride.
"Do you know there's a belief about dancing in the Matchmaker's Ball?" Sunghoon muttered abruptly.
Jungwon crossed his arms and straightened up. "There is? I thought it was only a get-to-know-someone knd of dance," he waited for Sunghoon's reply with a bated breath.
Sunghoon looked at him with intense eyes and smirked - there's a kind of smugness in it but far enough to consider as unhappy. "Forget it. It's not really that interesting anyway." he decides not to reveal.
"Are you having time putting me in a dangle? Or this is some kind of getting even with me?" Jungwon shoots back, dissatisfied with the discretion.
"Both." Sunghoon victoriously chuckled.
"Won!" Jake's flushed face appeared in the room so fast. "We got an update from Yuki-nim!"  
The group's puppy looked flustered in a way that made Jungwon hold his breath, waiting for the worst possible information.
"Heeseung Hyung is coming back." Jay barged in, ending everyone's distress.
Only then Jungwon gets to breathe steadily. They are not screwed up as he thought they were. Hearing about their ace coming back expelled the invincible boulder on his shoulders.
"Whew! I thought we're finished." Ni-Ki sighed in relief.
"But without Choi Aerin." Jay continued.
"W-What?" Jungwon muttered, surprise stole the air from his lungs,
"D-Did they just get rid of her? I mean, did they sent Aerin away and forced Heeseung Hyung to come back?" the worry in Sunoo's voice is vast.
"It is likely. Yes, most probably." Jay sadly stated.
There is a chilling, bone-deep cold that comes like being soaked in the rain. The words Yuki told them strangled in the air. Love? There's no room for love for all of them. They are artists, a public's property. Loving the fans, it will take them to pedestal. Loving a girl, they better pack their bags and leave.
"This is mainly the reason why I am against your feelings with my cousin." Sunghoon finally spoke after getting the privacy they're both needed.
"Hyung--'
"Call me unsupportive, but I am just trying to protect you and Hyejin. We can't love a girl, Won. Not now. We are just starting, this is a crucial time for the group."
He was put in a dilemma. He felt like he was in a lifeboat, but there is only room for two people and the person who does not get on the lifeboat will surely drown.
"I care for you and Hyejin, just like how I care for my own sister. I can't bare to see you both break into pieces because you chose to follow your heart.  More so, I won't allow you to destroy your dreams. I hope you understand where I am coming from, Won. Us, ,idols, there's no room for love. That's the hard truth."
It goes between choosing love and career. Choose love, they can lie together under the stars, holding hands, watching their dreams fall right in front their eyes. So better not. Sunghoon's right. Being a famous artist and being presented in the world as ideal boyfriends, there is really, no room for love.
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