Still Ella's POV
Lily and Sophie were still at my house, staying close, keeping an eye on me like they always did when things got rough. After what happened with Ethan, I could feel the weight of their concern pressing down on me, even though they tried to hide it behind nervous smiles and awkward jokes. 
I was sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket even though it wasn’t cold. I didn’t say much. The ache in my chest felt more than just emotional. It was deeper, heavier, like something squeezing the life out of me. They didn’t know what to say either, just sitting with me in silence.
“Ella, you need to eat,” Sophie said gently, pushing a plate of crackers towards me. I glanced at it, but my appetite was long gone. I felt so tired, more than usual. 
Lily sat down next to me, giving me a side glance. “You’re stronger than this, you know?” she whispered, her voice filled with that kind of forced calm, the kind you use when you’re trying not to freak out.
But it was no secret to Lily and Khian. They knew why I wasn’t just heartbroken. They knew why I was ‘scared’.
---
I was only seven when I had my first heart attack. I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in the backyard, running around with Khian, Lily, Sophie, and Ethan. We were just kids, carefree and innocent. It was one of those days where everything seemed perfect. The sun was shining, we were laughing, and nothing else mattered. We were playing tag, racing each other around the yard. I was so happy back then.
But then, it happened. 
I stopped in the middle of the game, clutching my chest. The pain hit me like a wave, sharp and sudden, like someone had punched me in the heart. I collapsed to the ground, gasping for air, my vision going blurry. I remember the panic on Khian’s face as he ran to me, shouting for help, his voice breaking with fear.
Everything after that was a blur, my mom screaming, the ambulance sirens, the bright hospital lights. When I woke up, I was hooked to machines, my heart beating weakly. The doctors said it was a miracle I survived.
The doctor’s words still echoed in my mind, even after all these years. “She has a weak heart. Any extreme emotional or physical stress could be dangerous. You need to be careful. Too much pain could be fatal.”
My parents had cried, and Khian had stood outside the room, too afraid to come in. He couldn’t look at me like that. I was just a kid, but I knew something was wrong. From that day on, I wasn’t allowed to run too much, laugh too hard, or cry too much. My whole life became about avoiding any kind of extreme emotion.
Lily had been there, too. She was always there, holding my hand, whispering that I was going to be okay, even though I knew she was scared. And Ethan… Ethan had been there too, but I couldn’t remember his face that day. It was like my memory had blocked out how he looked when I was so close to leaving them.
---
Now, as I sat on the couch, those memories were all I could think about. The weight of it all, the heartbreak, the fear of my own body betraying me, was too much to bear. But I couldn’t let them know how much it hurt. If they knew, they’d panic, and I couldn’t handle their panic on top of my own.
“Ella,” Lily said softly, touching my arm. “Don’t… don’t keep everything inside. You need to let it out.”
I looked at her, my heart aching, not just from what had happened, but from the fact that she knew how fragile I was. Khian knew too, which was why he had punched Ethan. He couldn’t stand the idea of me breaking down, of me falling apart in front of everyone. He’d seen me at my worst before, and he wasn’t going to let it happen again.
But the truth was, I was already breaking. I could feel it.
---
Sophie tried to make a joke, her voice shaky. “Hey, remember that time in middle school when we snuck out and you got stuck in that tree, Ella? You were crying and screaming like a maniac until Khian came and got you down.”
Lily laughed, but it was forced. I managed a small smile, but it felt hollow. They were trying so hard, and I loved them for it. But I was so tired. So, so tired.
“Maybe we can watch that dumb movie you love, the one with the talking dog,” Lily suggested, clearly desperate to cheer me up. She always hated that movie, but she was willing to sit through it if it meant I’d smile again.
I shook my head, my voice barely a whisper. “I just… I just want to rest.”
Sophie exchanged a worried glance with Lily, but neither of them said anything. They didn’t push. They just stayed by my side, not knowing what else to do.
---
As the afternoon dragged on, the sound of the front door opening caught us all off guard. I looked up, and there they were, my parents, standing in the doorway with bags in hand, looking worn out but relieved to be home.
“Mom? Dad?” My voice cracked, and the shock of seeing them standing there almost knocked the breath out of me.
“Oh my God, Ella,” my mom rushed towards me, dropping her bags to the floor. “Sweetheart, how are you?”
She pulled me into a tight hug, her arms wrapping around me like she was afraid I’d slip away. My dad stood behind her, giving me a small smile, but I could see the worry in his eyes. They knew what had happened. They always seemed to know when things got bad.
“We came as soon as we could,” my dad said softly, stepping closer. “We heard about… everything.”
Lily and Sophie quietly stood up, giving us some space. My mom looked over at them, nodding her thanks. They understood, giving me one last glance before heading towards the kitchen to give me and my parents time alone.
I leaned into my mom’s embrace, feeling the weight of everything starting to lift just a little. I was still hurting, still afraid, but having them there made it a little easier to breathe.
“We’re here now, sweetheart,” my dad said, his hand resting gently on my back. “We’re not going anywhere.”
---
The warmth of my mom’s hug made me feel safe for the first time in what seemed like forever. But the ache in my chest didn’t go away. It was still there, lingering, like a bruise that wouldn’t heal. I tried to hold on to the moment, to their comfort, but it was hard. My heart felt heavy, like it was dragging me down. 
My mom pulled back, brushing a piece of hair out of my face, her eyes soft but full of worry. “You look pale, honey. Have you been resting enough? You’re not... feeling anything unusual, are you?”
I knew what she was asking, even though she didn’t say it out loud. She was asking about my heart, about whether I was feeling any pain. I could see the fear in her eyes, the same fear that had been there ever since that day when I was seven, the day I almost didn’t make it.
“I’m fine, Mom,” I said, my voice coming out quieter than I wanted. “Just tired.”
My dad stepped closer, his hand gently resting on my shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but the way he looked at me, it was like he was waiting for me to fall apart. They knew me too well. 
Lily and Sophie were still in the kitchen, whispering quietly to each other, giving us some space. I could hear their voices, but the words were too soft to catch. They were worried too, I knew that. But they had their own way of dealing with things, Lily with her quiet strength, and Sophie with her constant, nervous energy. 
I pulled the blanket tighter around me, the weight of everything starting to make me feel dizzy. My mom sat down next to me, taking my hand in hers. Her fingers were warm, and I could feel her pulse, steady and strong, through her skin. Mine wasn’t like that. Mine was weak, fragile, like a thread that could snap at any moment.
“I know you’ve been through a lot,” my mom whispered, her voice soft but firm. “But you’re strong, Ella. I... you need to... ”
I wanted to believe her, but all I could think about was how weak I felt. How tired. How my heart had always been something that held me back, something that made me different from everyone else. I hated it. I hated that I couldn’t just be normal, that I had to constantly be careful, constantly be afraid of feeling too much.
---
Lily and Sophie finally came back from the kitchen, each holding a cup of tea like they weren’t sure what else to do. Lily sat down on the armrest of the couch, giving me a small smile. “So, you want to watch that terrible dog movie or what?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood.
I gave her a weak smile, appreciating the effort. Sophie plopped down next to me, handing me one of the cups. “You need to drink something, Ella. It’ll help.”
I took the cup, but I didn’t drink. My hands were shaking too much, and I was scared I might spill it. Sophie noticed and took it back, setting it on the coffee table.
Not long after, Khian finally walked in, his face still hard, but there was a softness in his eyes that hadn’t been there earlier. He sat down across from me, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees. “You okay?” he asked, his voice gruff but caring.
I nodded, but we both knew it wasn’t true. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, looking more tired than I’d ever seen him. “You don’t have to pretend, Ella. Not with us.”
I wanted to say something, to reassure him, but the words wouldn’t come. My throat felt tight, and my chest was hurting more now, like the pain had moved deeper.
Khian exchanged a look with Lily, and I could see the silent conversation happening between them. They knew. They always knew when I was getting worse.
“We’re gonna make you laugh, whether you like it or not,” Sophie declared suddenly, standing up and striking a ridiculous pose. “So, you better brace yourself, because I’m hilarious.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, even if it was small. Sophie’s attempts at humor were always over-the-top, but right now, I needed it.
“See? It’s working,” Lily said, her grin widening. “We’ll keep this up all night if we have to.”
Khian, for once, didn’t scold them for being loud. He just sat there, watching me, making sure I was okay. I knew he wouldn’t leave my side, not until he was sure I wasn’t going to fall apart again.
---
The sound of my parents talking softly in the background, the laughter of my friends trying to keep the mood light, it all felt like a strange mix of calm and chaos. But for the first time in a while, I felt... safe. Not completely okay, but safe.
My heart still ached, and the fear of what could happen never really left. But with them here, my family, my friends, all I wanted is to be okay. Can't I have that happiness again? If so, I would rather be a little girl again, please.