Chapter 19 Suffocate

Ella’s POV
I couldn’t shake the tension in the air since Ethan had shown up. The look on his face, lost, desperate, stayed with me long after he was gone. My mind kept replaying that moment, seeing him standing there, eyes wide with guilt, while Khian practically shoved him out the door. It was like everything got scrambled inside me. I didn’t know how to feel. Hurt, sure. Angry? Maybe. But more than that, I was just... confused.
Sitting on the couch, knees pulled to my chest, I stared blankly at the spot where Ethan had stood. His voice still echoed in my head, even though he didn’t say much. Khian had stormed in too fast, and Ethan didn’t get the chance to explain himself.
“Ella? Are you okay?” Lily’s soft voice broke through my thoughts. She sat beside me, worry etched on her face, her hand gently squeezing mine. Sophie was pacing in the corner, probably still fired up from everything that just happened.
I nodded slowly, but even I wasn’t sure if I believed it. “Yeah, I’m... fine. It’s just... weird. Ethan showing up like that.”
Sophie stopped pacing and crossed her arms, clearly not convinced. “Weird? Try reckless. What was he even thinking, showing up like that?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I just... didn’t expect to see him. Not after everything.”
The front door creaked open, and I tensed as Khian came back inside. His expression was still tense, anger simmering just below the surface. He walked past me without a word, heading straight for the kitchen. The air between us felt thick, heavy, like a storm waiting to break.
Sophie raised an eyebrow. “Oh boy. He’s still fuming.”
I leaned my head back against the couch, exhaling slowly. “I wish he wouldn’t get so worked up. It’s not helping.”
Sophie shrugged, but before she could say anything, I heard my mom’s voice, and I stiffened. My parents had been in their room, probably talking about what just happened.
“Khian,” Mom said softly, her voice calm but firm, “can we talk for a minute?”
I heard the clink of dishes as Khian set something down in the kitchen. “What’s there to talk about?” he muttered, his tone defensive.
Mom sighed, and I could picture her standing there, arms crossed, looking at Khian with that familiar look of patience she always had when she knew he needed to listen. “I know you’re upset, but pushing Ethan like that? That’s not going to solve anything.”
“He deserved it,” Khian snapped, louder now. “Showing up here after what he did? After hurting Ella? What was he thinking?”
I swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in my throat. I didn’t want to be the reason for all this tension.
“I get that you’re angry,” Mom continued, her voice steady. “But Ella’s been through a lot. And you can’t fix everything by being aggressive. It’s not helping her, Khian. She needs space to breathe, not more pressure.”
Khian was quiet for a moment, and I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head. Then, with a sigh, he muttered, “I just... I hate seeing her like this.”
“I know,” Mom said gently. “But being protective doesn’t mean pushing people away. Sometimes, it’s about being there quietly. Let her figure things out on her own terms.”
There was a long pause before Khian spoke again, his voice softer this time. “I’m just scared for her.”
“And that’s okay,” Mom replied. “But remember, Ella’s strong. She’s stronger than you give her credit for.”
I blinked back tears, feeling the weight of my mom’s words settle in my chest. She was right. I needed to figure this out. Ethan, Khian... all of it.
But then my dad’s voice cut through the quiet, and the tension in the air spiked again. “He had no right to come here like that.”
Dad rarely got involved, but when he did, it was serious. His deep voice carried a weight that made the whole house feel smaller.
“He’s lucky I didn’t throw him out myself,” Dad added, his tone sharp.
“Don’t you think that would’ve been a bit too much?” Mom asked, trying to keep the conversation calm. “Ella’s heart can’t handle more stress.”
Dad grumbled something under his breath, but I couldn’t make out the words. I knew he was upset, but I didn’t need this right now. I needed quiet, a way to breathe again.
Sophie and Lily exchanged glances, sensing the tension rising even more. Sophie opened her mouth to say something when Khian stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room, his eyes locking with mine.
“We should talk,” he said softly, his voice calmer than it had been earlier. He motioned toward the backyard. “Come on.”
I hesitated for a second, but then stood up, following him. Sophie gave me a little nudge as I passed her, a silent encouragement.
Khian led me out to the garden, the soft evening light casting a golden glow over the flowers. We walked in silence until we reached the bench near the back of the yard. It was quiet here, peaceful, far away from the chaos inside.
“I know this garden will remind you of him.” Khian said after a while, sitting down on the bench.
I smiled and nodded, taking a seat next to him. The air smelled like fresh grass and flowers, and I took a deep breath, trying to let go of the heaviness in my chest.
“I’m sorry,” Khian said quietly. “For earlier. For pushing him. I just... I couldn’t stand seeing you hurt.”
I bit my lip, unsure of how to respond. “It’s okay, Khian. I get it. But you don’t have to protect me all the time. I need to figure this out myself too.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know. I just... I don’t know how to stop trying.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling the weight of everything we’d been through together. “Just be here. That’s all I need.”
For a while, we sat in silence, the tension between us slowly dissolving into the cool evening air. Then, out of nowhere, Khian start humming.
“I thought maybe this would help,” he said with a small smile. One of my favorites to my brother? His voice, when is sing.
I smiled back, grateful for his effort. “Yeah, I think it will.”
As Khian started singing, the gentle strumming of his voice filled the garden. I closed my eyes, letting it wash over me. It was calming, a much-needed distraction from the chaos inside my head.
Soon, I heard footsteps behind us, and I opened my eyes to see Sophie and Lily walking out to join us. They sat down on the grass nearby, their faces lit up by the soft glow of the setting moon.
The sound of Khian's voice make the moment soft and calming, making the tension of the day feel like it was melting away. I leaned back against the garden bench, trying to relax. The moon painted the sky in soft hues of blue and the clouds of white, making everything look cozy, almost magical. For a moment, I felt like I could just forget everything.
But Sophie, being Sophie, wasn’t about to let things stay quiet for long. She gave me a mischievous grin and glanced over at Khian, who was still focused on his music.
“You know, Ella,” she started, her voice light and teasing, “your brother’s been practicing a lot. Maybe he’s trying to impress someone.”
Lily, sitting next to me, immediately caught on, her face going bright red. “Sophie, don’t start something again.” she muttered under her breath.
I chuckled softly, already knowing where this was going. Sophie never missed a chance to stir things up. 
“Oh, come on,” Sophie pressed, leaning forward with a playful smirk. “Look at him, first he was so good at playing guitar, now all soft with his voice tone. You can’t tell me that’s not impressive. I bet half the girls at school are swooning.”
Khian, still completely unaware of the teasing, just kept singing, his face peaceful. But Lily wasn’t having it. 
“Sophie, seriously! Not this again!” Lily’s voice was louder now, her embarrassment clear. She gave Sophie a little shove, but Sophie just laughed, clearly enjoying the moment.
I couldn’t help but laugh too, feeling the lightness Sophie always seemed to bring. It was these little moments, her jokes, the way she could tease Lily until she turned as red as a tomato, that made everything feel normal again. It was a distraction, but a good one. 
Khian finally caught on that something was happening. He looked up and his eyes landed to our direction, his brow furrowed in confusion. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing!” Lily and Sophie said at the same time, their voices too quick and too defensive. 
I shook my head, smiling. Poor brother had no idea what he had missed. 
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, still chuckling. “It’s just Sophie being Sophie.”
Khian gave me a puzzled look, then shrugged and went back to his own world. Lily shot me a grateful smile, relieved that we were letting the teasing drop, at least for now. But knowing Sophie, it wouldn’t be the last time she brought it up.
As Khian singing, the atmosphere shifted. It felt more peaceful, more like home. The moon was up so high, casting long shadows over the garden. It was the kind of night that made you want to freeze time, to hold on to the quiet and the cold for just a little longer.
I found myself lost in thought, my mind drifting back to everything that had happened in the last few days. Ethan, the kiss, Khian’s anger... it all swirled in my head, but being here, with them, made it feel a little less heavy. They were my anchors, keeping me grounded when I felt like everything was slipping away.
But then, just as I was starting to feel calm, Mom’s voice called out from the house. “Ella, Khian, can you both come inside for a minute?”
I looked at Khian, who raised an eyebrow, clearly curious. Sophie and Lily exchanged glances too, the playful mood from earlier fading. Something about Mom’s tone felt... serious.
Khian stood up. “Let’s see what’s up,” he said, giving me a small nod. I followed him into the house, my heart picking up speed again. 
When we stepped into the living room, Mom and Dad were sitting together on the couch. Dad’s arms were crossed, his face hard, while Mom looked... tired. I felt a lump forming in my throat. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be a casual conversation.
Khian stood by the door, his posture tense. “What’s going on?” he asked, his voice steady but with a hint of nervousness.
Mom looked up at us, her eyes soft but serious. “We need to talk about what happened earlier.”
I swallowed, my stomach churning. I knew she was talking about Ethan showing up.
Dad leaned forward, his eyes narrowing. “He shouldn’t have come here like that,” he said, his voice low and stern. “And I don’t want him coming around again.”
My chest tightened, the weight of my dad’s words hitting me like a punch. I opened my mouth to say something, to defend Ethan, but Khian cut in before I could.
“I already told him to stay away,” Khian said, his voice firm. “He knows he messed up.”
Mom sighed, her expression softening a bit. “Khian, I understand what your feeling, but we can’t control what Ethan does. What we can control is how we react. And pushing him like that... it’s not the way.”
Khian’s jaw clenched, and he looked away, clearly frustrated. “He hurt her, Mom. I’m not just going to stand by and do nothing.”
Dad nodded, backing Khian up. “Your brother’s right. That boy crossed a line.”
I felt my throat tighten again. I hated hearing them talk about Ethan like that. It felt like everything was spiraling out of control, like no one understood.
“Can we just... stop?” I blurted out, my voice shaky. “Please. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
They all turned to look at me, the room suddenly silent. Mom’s face softened, and she stood up, walking over to me.
“Ella,” she said gently, placing a hand on my shoulder. “We’re just worried about you. That’s all.”
“I know,” I whispered, blinking back tears. “But I'm not a kid anymore, so don't treat me one.”
Khian frowned, but he didn’t say anything. I could tell he wanted to argue, to keep protecting me, but for once, he stayed quiet.
After a long pause, Mom nodded. “Alright. We’ll give you space. But just remember, we’re here if you need us, sweetheart.”
I nodded, feeling a mix of relief and sadness. I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling. I didn’t even know if I understood it myself.
Without another word, I turned and headed back outside. I needed air. I needed to breathe.
Sophie and Lily were still in the garden when I got there, their expressions shifting to concern when they saw me.
“What happened?” Lily asked softly, her eyes searching mine.
“Just... family stuff,” I said, sitting back down on the bench.
Sophie, sensing I didn’t want to talk about it, leaned back on the grass and sighed dramatically. “Well, whatever it is, I’m sure it’s nothing a good laugh can’t fix.”
Lily smiled softly, and I couldn’t help but feel a small flicker of warmth inside me. Sophie was right, in her own way. Maybe it wasn’t that simple, but for now, sitting here with them, it felt like it was enough.
For now, that was all I could ask for.

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