Chapter 20

Ethan's POV
I gripped the steering wheel tightly, my knuckles white as I drove away from Ella’s house. My mind was spinning, and I couldn’t shake the look on Khian’s face. The way he pushed me, the fury in his eyes, it was more than just anger. It was something deeper, like betrayal. And maybe I deserved that. 
I didn’t even know why I went to Ella’s house. Part of me thought maybe I could explain myself, maybe I could fix things. But now, sitting here in my car, driving aimlessly through the streets, I realized just how stupid that idea was.
Khian was right to hate me. I kissed Katherine. I let that happen, and there was no excuse for it. I wasn’t sure what I felt when it happened, confusion, guilt, maybe even relief. But now, all I felt was regret. 
I pulled into the small park Ella and I used to hang out in when we were kids. The place was quiet, the swings swaying gently in the wind. It was strange how something so familiar could feel so distant now. I used to love coming here, spending hours with Ella, talking about everything, having picnic and nothing. But now, even this place felt like it was full of ghosts.
I parked the car and sat there for a moment, staring out at the empty playground. My head throbbed from everything that happened today. Khian’s words still echoed in my ears. He had every right to be angry. He’d always been protective of Ella, and after what I did, I wasn’t sure if I even deserved to be in her life anymore.
I rested my head against the steering wheel, trying to calm down, but my thoughts wouldn’t stop racing. Why did I let that kiss with Katherine happen? What was I even thinking? It wasn’t like I had feelings for her. It just… happened. One minute we were talking, and the next, she was leaning in. And like an idiot, I didn’t stop it.
But now I had to deal with the consequences. I knew Ella would be devastated if she found out. And Khian,
well, I’d already seen his reaction. The worst part was, I didn’t even have a good explanation for why it happened. I wasn’t sure if there even was one.
I got out of the car and walked over to one of the old swings, the metal creaking softly as I sat down. The cool evening breeze brushed against my skin, but it didn’t do anything to ease the turmoil in my chest. I stared at the ground, feeling more lost than ever.
What was I supposed to do now? I couldn’t face Ella, not like this. Not after what happened. But at the same time, I couldn’t keep running away from it. I had to figure something out. I had to make this right somehow. 
The problem was, I didn’t know how. I didn’t even know where to start.
I pulled out my phone, scrolling through my contacts, stopping at Ella’s name. My thumb hovered over the call button, but I couldn’t bring myself to press it. What was I going to say? "Hey, sorry I kissed Katherine. It was a mistake." 
Yeah, like that was going to make everything better.
I sighed, shoving my phone back into my pocket. I felt like I was trapped in this mess with no way out. I wanted to fix things with Ella. I wanted to go back to the way things used to be, before all of this, when everything was simple. But I wasn’t sure if that was even possible anymore.
I sat there for what felt like hours, the darkness slowly creeping in as the sun set behind the trees. The park was empty now, just me and the quiet. I closed my eyes, trying to clear my mind, but all I could think about was Ella. I missed her. I missed the way we used to talk, the way she would laugh at my dumb jokes, the way she’d always be there, no matter what.
But I wasn’t sure if I could ever get that back.
I didn’t know how long I sat there, lost in my thoughts, before I finally stood up and headed back to the car. I needed to figure out what to do next. But right now, all I could do was drive.
And hope that somehow, some way, I could fix the mess I’d made.
As I started the engine and drove away from the park, I couldn't help but think about the look on Khian’s face again. I had to face him at some point. Avoiding this wasn’t going to fix anything. But I needed to figure things out first. I needed to understand why I let that kiss happen, why I felt so torn between my past with Ella and this confusing mess with Katherine.
And most of all, I needed to stop running.
-------
I hadn’t seen Ella at school for days. Every time I walked down the hallway, my eyes instinctively searched for her, for even just a glimpse of her shadow, but she was nowhere to be found. It wasn’t just Ella, though, Khian, Lily, and Sophie had all returned, but it was clear something was off. Khian was quieter than usual, barely saying a word to anyone. Sophie, who was normally the life of every conversation, wasn’t her usual joking self either. And Lily, she kept glancing at me from across the hall, but every time I caught her eye, she looked away, like she couldn’t stand to be near me.
Ella’s absence weighed on me, and it made everything feel so much worse. I knew I needed to talk to Khian, to explain myself before things spiraled even further out of control, but every time I saw him, he’d just walk away like I didn’t exist. 
I didn’t blame him. If I were in his shoes, I’d hate me too.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, and the halls quickly began to empty. I stood by my locker, staring at nothing in particular, when I saw Khian heading towards the exit. I knew this was my only chance. If I didn’t talk to him now, I might never get the chance again.
Taking a deep breath, I rushed over, cutting him off before he could leave.
"Khian, wait," I said, my voice more desperate than I intended.
He stopped, but he didn’t look at me. His jaw was clenched, and I could see the tension in his shoulders. “What do you want, Ethan?” he muttered, still not meeting my eyes.
“I just… I need to explain,” I stammered, trying to keep my voice steady. “About what happened with Katherine. And… everything.”
Khian finally looked up, his eyes cold and hard. “Explain?” he spat, his voice dripping with anger. “What’s there to explain?”
“I didn’t mean for it to happen,” I blurted out, panic rising in my chest. “It just… it just happened, okay? I wasn’t thinking. It was a mistake.”
“A mistake?” Khian took a step closer, his fists clenched at his sides. “Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt my little sister? She trusted you. And then you go and do that?”
“I know, Khian. I know I screwed up, but you don’t understand—” I stopped myself, my voice catching. “There’s more to this... ”
Khian crossed his arms, his expression still cold. “Oh, really? So now there’s some big explanation that makes everything better? That makes it okay?”
I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest. “You don’t know why we left town back then,” I started, my voice shaky. “Why my family moved. It wasn’t just some business thing. My dad… he left us.”
Khian’s expression faltered for a moment, confusion flashing in his eyes. “What?”
I nodded, my throat tight. “My dad… he had this huge financial mess. He made bad decisions, gambled with the wrong people, and when it all went south, he ran. Left me, my mom, and my little brother to deal with it. We had no choice but to move, to start over.”
Khian’s face softened, but only slightly. “That doesn’t excuse what you did.”
“I know,” I said quickly, running a hand through my hair, frustrated. “I know it doesn’t. But you have to understand, everything’s been messed up for me since then. I didn’t handle it well. I’ve been trying to figure out who I am, what I’m supposed to do, and I’ve made mistakes along the way. Katherine… it was one of those mistakes. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
Khian shook his head, looking more conflicted now than angry. “So you think telling me all this suddenly makes it okay? You think I’m just going to forgive you for hurting her?”
“I’m not asking for forgiveness,” I said quietly. “I just… I need you to know that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t mean to hurt her. I care about Ella. I’ve always cared about her.”
Khian looked down, his fists unclenching slightly. There was a long, tense silence between us, and I could feel the weight of everything crashing down around me. I’d never felt more helpless.
“I don’t know if you can fix this.” Khian finally said, his voice low. “Ella’s been through enough. And after what you did, I don’t know if she’ll ever trust you again.”
“I will do whatever it takes,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “I just need the chance to talk to her.”
Khian let out a heavy sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s not in any condition to deal with this right now. Her heart—” He stopped himself, shaking his head. “Just… give her time. Stay away from her for now.”
The mention of Ella’s heart sent a wave of guilt crashing over me. I knew about her condition, how fragile she was. The last thing I wanted was not to cause her more pain, but it seemed like that’s all I’d been doing lately.
“Okay,” I said quietly, nodding. “I will stay away. But when she’s ready… please, just tell her I’m sorry.”
Khian didn’t say anything else. He just turned and walked away, leaving me standing there, feeling more lost than ever.
As I watched him disappear down the hallway, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I did lost something important. Not just Ella, but Khian too. The trust we once had, gone, just like that. 
I let out a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of everything crashing down on me all at once. I had no idea how I was going to fix this, or if I even could.

Book Comment (133)

  • avatar
    Riz Brael Ulgasan

    stuff for you really need to me and thank the Lord I hope you have a wonderful day and thank you really need me to may be able it is the world record I love you really need anymore and thank the Lord is adverb car fixed and thank goodness for you really need to may be a good time to may not have been in peace out bornan I love the world is adverb car fixed the world is adverb car fixed it was just the world is adverb and watch a about angel out bornan you really need me to bring the dragon princ

    3h

      0
  • avatar
    Dos santos SilvaJosiel

    muito bom

    4h

      0
  • avatar
    LimaClarissa

    maravilhoso

    5h

      0
  • View All

Related Chapters

Latest Chapters