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Chapter 119 Wishing and Hoping

♫ Drew ♫
I was surprised to see that the rest of the guys followed me. Roj was even the first one to go inside the office of the Chief of Police. How can I forget that Roj is the Chief’s nephew?
However, our plan of filing a case against the villain was a failure as Uncle Ed already filed a case against her. Besides, the pieces of evidence are already enough to jail Nica.
I sat outside the precinct and they sat next to me, one by one. “What’s your next plan then?” Kevz asked.
"I'm flying to France!"
"We're coming with you," Kellen chirped. "Let's postpone our opening," she even suggested before looking at her twin who immediately nodded at her.
"Let's all fly to France then!" Kale added and they all seemed excited about the idea.
From the police station, we went straight to the studio to plan our flight. Kellen suggested that we stay at a hotel while I go to Leslie’s place so we could talk.
Kale called Aunt Tori to let her know of the plan. She liked the idea and she even volunteered to talk to my parents and ask them not to let Leslie know that we were coming.
Kellen took the initiative to book our tickets using her card then we’ll reimburse it. After our huddle, we all decided to go home.
We’re flying to France tomorrow so we just went home to pack our luggage. We’re planning to stay at the studio overnight.
We rested early but when I still woke up late the next day. “Drew, start prepping or we’ll be late for our flight,” Kale ordered and I immediately obeyed.
When I came out of the bathroom, everyone was ready. Kevz and Kip are both by their cars waiting for us.
After Kellen gave Lyra some instructions, we head out. I rode Kevz's car with Kale and Roj. While Homme and Kellen are in Kip’s car.
When we reached the airport, they even called their parents to let them know we were leaving. It seems that some were even surprised to know about our flight to France.
We left at nine in the evening and we reached Paris at dawn. We headed to the hotel to rest and tomorrow, I’ll face Leslie.
Kellen even suggested that we pray before going to sleep. She was hoping that everything will go smoothly tomorrow and so am I.
♫ Lemon ♫
My body feels heavy and I don’t even want to stand up. I’m too lazy to move but the doorbell keeps ringing and it’s becoming a bother.
As I don’t have anyone with me, I was forced to get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I gargled and wash my face before I lazily head downstairs.
I was surprised when I opened the door, I even rubbed my eyes, still in disbelief with what I’m seeing. It was Drew!
He hugged me tightly but grimaced when he let go, “What are you wearing Les?” he asked in an irritated tone.
‘Before he asks what I’m wearing, shouldn’t he tell me first what he’s doing here?’
But when I looked at my outfit, even I grimaced. I’m only wearing an old, spaghetti strap top and boxers. Worse is that I’m not even wearing a bra.
He invited himself in and sat on the sofa. Looking anxious, he clasped his hands while his elbows rest on his knees. “Do you normally open your door wearing that?” he asked again.
“Why are you here?” I asked as I sat on the other end of the couch.
He scoot next to me and held my hands. “Les I know everything,” he started. “I know about the pregnancy and I also know that you saw me and Nica at home.”
I creased my forehead thinking how he knew everything. Still, I’m not happy to find him here. “What about my pregnancy?”
“I’m the father right?”
“And who told you that?”
“Les, please! Auntie Tori read your conversation with Pete. We all know that your relationship status was only for show. And I’m sure nothing happened between the two of you!”
“Ok, let’s say you got me pregnant. Who told you I want you to be the father of my child?” He paled and his shoulders slumped.
After everything that happened and after I almost lose my child, I still can’t imagine him being the father. Even if my child is really his.
“W-What… What are you saying?”
“What I’m saying is that, yes, this is your child. But so what? I don’t have plans of marrying you if that’s why you’re here. I don’t have plans of going back to you. It’s enough that you know we have a child,” then I stood up and head to the kitchen as I’m starting to feel a burning sensation in my throat from stopping my tears.
“Les, please don’t do this…” then he hugged me from behind. “Can’t you forgive me anymore?” and I was surprised to see him crying when I faced him. I feel like my heart’s being ripped to pieces but I have to be firm with my decision.
“I’ve already forgiven you, Drew, a long time ago. You and Nica and everyone else who hurt me and the reasons why I almost lost my child. Isn’t that enough?”
“Les, please. I beg you. Let me be a father to our child…” he sobbed.
“I’m not stopping you from being the father. You can be my child's father anytime. But as I said, that’s all there is. Everything that happened, all the trouble I went thru because of Nica, it’s because of you! If you didn’t do anything stupid, we wouldn't have ended like this. You almost killed our child!”
I sat on the sofa, catching my breath. These past few days, I get tired easily. Maybe it’s because I’m starting to gain weight and my body’s not used to it.
It took him several minutes to come out of the kitchen. His eyes are already swollen. He even tried to say something but he won’t continue.
“You can leave. I need to rest,” then I stood up to head upstairs.
“Everything’s clear to me, Les. Sorry. There’s nothing more I can say than sorry. I came here hoping we can still fix things and you’d still come back to me. But I guess they’re right, I don't deserve you after everything I did and everything that's happened. I understand and I'm very thankful for your forgiveness. There’s just something I want to ask from you,” then he looked at me. “Just please let me be a father to our child.”
I nodded before letting go of the breath I’d been holding. “Don't worry, I'll let you know when I'm about to give birth. Please close the door when you leave,” then I climbed the stairs with heavy feet.
I laid down on my bed and as soon as my back touched the mattress, my tears start flowing. I was hurt by everything I said to him, but that’s the truth.
I've been trying to keep those words to myself for a really long time until he showed up. It’s as if his sudden presence triggered something in me and everything came out like vomit.
It hurts. It was painful. If I’m weak, I might have run after him and begged him to stay. But I have to be strong for our child. I have to let him go. I love him, but I love our child more.
I won’t be able to accept it and forgive myself, especially him, if something happens to our child because of the things he does. The things he chose to do.
The next day, I received a call from Kellen. She said they only stayed in France for two hours and I was surprised to know that they all came with Drew. I felt bad for everyone, they’re not supposed to be involved in all these.
While in France, I keep getting updates regarding the company from Kevz. I get in touch with my parents often, as they always check on me and my condition. All is well for me, physically at that. Emotionally and mentally, I'm still broken, very broken.
I spent my first two months in France doing nothing. Most of the time, I just roll on my bed, checking my social media or video calling Kevz, Kale, or Kellen.
When I get bored, I go out to stroll. A few more strolls and I’ll be able to memorize even the cracks on the road and buildings.
For the next months, I feel like I'm about to go crazy. One more week and I’ll be on my fourth month here. Four months but it already feels like four years.
I’m almost six months pregnant and my stomach’s showing off, smugly. I’m starting to have a hard time moving around because I gained more weight.
"Cuz it’s already September! Homme’s about to celebrate his birthday!" that was how Kellen greeted me when they video called me.
“And Drew…” Kale butted in.
“Aren’t you coming back yet?” my cousin asked.
I rolled to my side and faced them, pouted my lips, and pretended to be thinking, "I’m not yet sure. Maybe I’ll come back after giving birth.”
They frowned in unison, obviously disliking the idea. “That’s in three months! Why don’t you give birth here?” Kale suggested.
“Kellen then sat in front of the camera with a long face. “Cuz, you know Drew’s always spacing out after we came back. Kip often scolds him because there’s always something missing or wrong in his works,” she narrated.
“True! And he lost so much weight. He said he’s having a hard time sleeping. Sometimes, we would go over to his house after office to get him drunk so he can sleep,” Kale chuckled.
“Oh by the way! You’re neighbors now! He moved to the unit next to you after we came back from France!” she announced and they high-fived.
“Girl, Drew loves you… so much! We all saw that after we came back. Even your parents noticed. But his parents are still hard on him though. They’d always say that he deserves what happened and that it was good that you didn’t take him back. Imagine the torture?” Kale narrated sadly.
Even I felt sad too. I know Drew did some things that he shouldn’t have done. But I think that not accepting him is enough of a punishment. They don't really have to rub it in.
I felt guilty too. I'm partly to blame because of what Drew's going through. Maybe I’ve been hard on him too. Maybe my heart was too hard on him. But of course, I can’t carry all the blame. I have to be hard for myself, for him, and our child.
“Hey! You’re spacing out!” Kellen told me off when I suddenly fell quiet.
“Sorry, I was just thinking of something,” then I smiled faintly.
“Come back here so you don’t have to think of anything!” Kale chirped.
“I’ll come back. Just calm down!”
We chatted for several minutes more before they ended the call. Kellen said they have to go to the mall to shop for everything they need for Homme and Drew’s surprise party.
They shared the same birthday and it’s one of those dates that we can never forget. And there are only a few days left but I still can’t finalize my decision.
I went to bed for a nap after talking to Kellen and Kekang. It’s still early and I can’t think of anything to do anyway.
When I woke up, it was already late in the afternoon and I feel like I was hit by a truck. Most of the time, I become swollen from oversleeping.
I looked at my phone before getting off of my bed. I have notifications there and I decided to check them. It’s one of the things I busy myself with.
I suddenly recalled that one time when I stalked Drew. I felt disappointed when I didn’t see any update on his profile after he came.
I checked my notifications one by one. Kellen posted a couple of pictures and they don’t seem to be shared with Homme and Drew.
In the pictures, she’s with Kale and it looks like they’re doing a shopping spree for the part. As far as I know, they’re planning to do it at Homme’s bar so they have a huge venue to decorate.
Another update comes from my mother. It’s a picture of unisex baby clothing and I can’t help but smile. She’s obviously excited for her grandchild to come out.
And last but not least was a notification from Drew. He updated his status to "Lord, please give me this one."
I creased my forehead as I try to figure out what he was asking for. Then again, I could only sigh. Not sure why I’m hoping that he’s asking for me and our child.
When I stood up, I headed to the bathroom to shower. As soon as I came out, my phone starts ringing, it was Pete.
He’s inviting me to have dinner with him and since I got nothing to do, I agreed. So when the clock strikes six, I readied myself and wait for him to pick me up.
We ate at a new restaurant near my place and we went home at eight. We even took pictures at the restaurant so I posted them as soon as I got on my bed.
I stood up to pee then I felt pain in my waist so I climbed to the bed to lay down. When the pain subsided, I checked my phone again.
When I was about to put it down, it rang and it was a video call from Drew. “Hi!”
This is the first time we’re going to talk after he came here and that was four months ago. I looked at the time and it was already past nine here. That means it’s almost dawn for him.
“Hey! Why are you still up?”
He shifted his position before messing up with his hair. He looked like he had just gotten out of the shower.
“Kevz just left. We had a few drinks,” he grinned.
I slowly nodded at him as I recall what Kellen told me earlier. So it’s true. That they’d have drinking sessions in his home just so he could sleep.
“You should rest then, it’s late!”
He smiled at me before moving his lips close to the camera. “I miss you and baby,” he whispered.
I tilted my phone a bit as I can’t help but laugh at what he did. “Silly! Go to sleep Drew Reagan! It’s almost three in the morning! You’re staying up late again!”
“How did you know?”
"I have my sources," I grinned and he shook his head, smiling.
“I was about to sleep but Kevz was an asshole,” he started and I creased my forehead at him. His words are a bit slang but I can still understand him. “Before he left, he showed me your picture with Pete,” and he smiled bitterly.
Drew looked glum when he said that so I let out a laugh to lighten the mood. “He’s still bullying you?”
He shook his head and smiled lazily, “But you’re very pretty on that pic, hun,” he replied.
“I’m pretty since birth, you know that!”
He smiled before moving the camera closer to his mouth. “I love you Les… so much,” he whispered. “But if you’ll be happier with Pete, then I’ll accept that. I hope he can take away all the pain I gave you. Just please, please let me see my child,” then his voice cracked. I was about to say something but he already ended the call.
Goosebumps crept all over me. What was he saying? I never thought of not showing our child to him. How can he think that?
No matter how I or anyone turn the world, the child in my belly is his. And no one, as in no one, can ever refute that.
I heaved a sigh before closing my eyes. I wanted to feel annoyed but on the other hand, I’m feeling sad too.
‘How did we end up like this? Can’t we just be happy always?’ I can’t help but chuckle at the thought. It’s what I’ve always been hoping for, even back then. But destiny never let that happen.

Book Comment (114)

  • avatar
    Caila Flor Anoga

    very enjoying to read a novel i like it

    19/06/2022

      0
  • avatar
    VasconcelosZildete

    maravilhoso

    9d

      0
  • avatar
    Sanilyn Sumando

    nice story

    10d

      0
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