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CHAPTER 27: HIS HEART
Sumiko.
She didn't understand me.
She never understood my real intentions.
All this time, she think of my feelings wrongly.
She always push me away. Almost driving me mad.
But what can I do? How can I make myself clear if she never even tried listening to me? What can I do if she is so afraid to hear the truth and just prefer to believe in her self made conclusions? How can I tell her how I feel if she's so unwilling to?
I was just a doll. An insignificant puppet. I'm suppose to live and die for my master.
That is what I used to think.
I am created to amuse the fine lady Elize. To entertain her. To be her toy in this cruel world.
A companion not tainted by human emotions. Someone to accompany her that won't hurt her with human fragility.
But that girl never treated me as a puppet. She always treated me as a precious existence.
She said I'm not her doll, I'm her friend.
And I'm suppose to live at least a hundred years with her, and protect her from any danger.
But I failed to protect her. I failed in my mission.
I have to die with her.
But in her deathbed, she made the worst decision ever.
She freed me.
A freedom is something I never wished for. Choice is an opportunity I never knew how to use.
But I can't defy her. She is my master, after all. So when she made me promise to live, I did.
I lived.
I lived, yes. But because of the thoughts of failing the promise I give to my creator, I succumbed to a deep slumber. Since I don't know how to live without following orders, I choose to sleep for a very very long time.
I didn't feel any remorse, guilt or sorrow. All I know is that I'm confused.
Yes, I'm a doll. A doll without emotions...
Or so I thought.
When I wake up from the deep sleep, I realized that the world I used to live is long gone. In front of me is a new world, one I'm not familiar with.
And in this new world, the very first one to welcome me is a pair of liquid brown eyes, warm and welcoming.
Those pair of eyes are full of something strange that I've never seen from others. It was different from the lady Elize' eyes, which only have longing and contentment.
Those piercing light stare is channeling those strange things right to my chest.
And for the first time, I've felt something. Something I can't name. Something warm and cozy, deep inside my hollow chest.
I followed her not because of that bloody contract. I followed her because I want to. I followed her because I choose to.
And as the time I spent with her goes by, I became more and more human like. I started to feel all those fragile emotions.
And that's when I realized how important Lady Elize was. For the first time, I felt sorrow and grievance towards her death, that roots deep within me, and not just with a sense of responsibility.
Elize is a very important friend.
I felt happiness, excitement, comfort, delight as well as sadness, grievance, sorrow, and pain. I began to feel those things.
Most of all, I feel that something inside my chest is behaving strangely. The hard pounding in my chest whenever I think of her. This resonating nervousness whenever I'm with her. It was tormenting, yet blissful at the same time.
Upon stumbling across the human books, I finally able to find the name for this unnamed feeling.
It was love.
I fell in love with Sumiko.
The reason why I keep on loitering around her, the reason why I keep on following her, the reason why I want to protect her and the reason why I want to be with her...
It's because I love her.
I love her that it pained me when she is shoving me away.
I love her that it hurts me when she is avoiding me.
And I love her that I think I'm going crazy when she cares for other guys.
I love her that it d*mn hurts!
But I don't want to scare her. I don't want to scare her with this stupid love.
And for the first time, with her, I feel conflicted. All my life, I was so sure of what to do. But now, I don't know anymore.
Ah! Sumiko. What shall I do with you?
" WHAT? HEY ARE YOU INSULTING ME??? "
I chuckled slightly upon hearing her angered voice. Ah. I forgot. I planted a hallucination inside her consciousness. I intend to show her my pure servant-master relationship with Lady Elize but I think that was a bad idea. Instead of clearing things, she misunderstood me more.
I was a doll servant made by a great wizard to serve Lady Elize. And I'm not romantically involved with her.
Fine. I'm going to pull her out of it.
After breaking the hallucination I created, I saw her slowly open her eyes.
" Sumiko are you awake? "
He look around maybe checking her surroundings.
I sighed of relief.
" I'm glad you're awake. "
Without thinking, she rushed towards me only to be pulled back by the chain that binds her hands.
" Crap! What the heck did you say awhile ago? You insulted me? I'm not dumb! "
I chuckled again. Is she is more worried with that thing than our current situation? This dumb little girl.
" You are always dumbly cute. "
I dunno but I found her illogical reasonings adorable. Ah, maybe, I'm also an illogical one.
Her face flushed a red tint. Woah! Is that what they called "blushing"?
" What the hell Mint! " She exclaimed and turn back to hid her face.
Now, I've decided. I'm going to tell her the whole truth. Even if there are uncertainty. Even if I have fears. I won't let her be confused anymore. I'm going to bare myself in front of her.
" Sumiko. I have something to tell you. "
My chest banged loud as if a drum is playing a rhythmic melody inside. The pattern of the beats is irregular, palpitating in every way possible.
" What is it? " Her brown orbs looks like an eternal abyss filled with curiosity. I have to fed those orbs until they are satisfied.
" Sumiko, I - - - "
But before I could finish my sentence, a voice cut me off.
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