CHAPTER 66: OFFICIALLY DONE
NATASHA POV
I am now here in front of Alex’s condo. I have been standing here in front of the door for almost 20 minutes already.
Going back and forth, contemplating if I should go inside and do what I need to do.
I don’t know if he is home already or if my friends are still here. I don’t know, I can’t think straight right now and my heart is pounding so fast because of nervousness.
I feel like I am suffocating here outside and I am not sure if I can really do what that man told me to do.
I heaved a deep breath and stood up straight. I need to do this for my daughter so I should be strong for the both of us.
I have already made up my mind that is why there is no turning back anymore.
I went to our door and input our lock password.
The door unlocked so I slowly pushed the door knob until the door opened then I went inside the condo with a watering palm.
Damn, I am so scared of what will happen next after I talk to Alex about our divorce.
Will he agree? Will he fight for our marriage or is it just fine with him because he doesn’t love me in the first place?
“Oh My God, Natasha! At last, you’re back home now. Where the h*ll did you go and why did you not inform me or even your friends?"
"Do you know how much we got worried about you? I thought you were gone too,” Alex immediately approached me the moment I reached the living room.
I looked at him with a serious look and he really looked so stressed out right now.
It seemed that he still doesn’t have any news about our daughter and I added up his burden when I am gone.
“I’m sorry, Alex. I just need to do something on my own. I don’t want to bother anyone, that is why I came there all by myself."
"But don’t worry because I am already here and nothing bad has happened to me. That is more important, right?” I simply answered him with a serious voice.
“What did you do and where did you go? You know that our daughter is missing already. That is why I got so paranoid when you left the condo without informing anyone where you will be."
"I thought you got kidnapped too or whatever bad might happen to you that is why you are not back at home yet. You don’t know how worried I was earlier. I even reported it to the police so that they will search for you too,” he just said to me with so much frustration.
“It's not important anymore, Alex. What important is I am already here and nothing bad happened to me."
"Isn’t that enough? Don’t worry because I will not add your burden from now on,” I simply said to him but he just frowned at what I have said to him.
“What do you mean by that? I never said that you are a burden to me. You are my wife and you are important to me and that same goes for our daughter."
"Of Course, I should have the right to be worried about both of you, right?” he answered me with a bit of disappointment in his tone.
“Okay, I understand. I’m sorry for what I have done but I need to tell you something now. Please listen to me first before you react. Is that okay with you?” I simply said to him and he frowned at me once again.
“What is it? Please stop making me nervous, Natasha. I am not liking your tone right now. What do you want to say to me, huh?” he just said to me with a serious voice.
I heaved a deep breath and looked him seriously in the eyes.
His eyes look so tired and there is a sadness in it. I bit my lower lip before speaking.
“I w-want a d-divorce.” That is just a short sentence but I still stammered just by saying it.
His eyes started to get darker and his eyebrows met because of what I said. I can’t take it anymore.
I can’t look at his eyes at this moment, that is why I looked down at the floor instead.
“What did you say? Did I hear it right, Natasha? So you want to file a divorce for me, huh?"
"Do you really want to do this thing while our daughter is still missing? I can’t believe you, Natasha! Please stop giving me more headache for pete’s sake!” he said in disbelief with a raised voice.
“Please calm down, Alex. I want you to listen to me now. I know that our daughter is still missing so I should not bring up this matter to you right now but I have a reason so please just understand me and listen to me."
"I badly need to do this. So contact your lawyer and tell him to process our divorce papers as soon as possible. I know you can do that, right?” I just said to him with a serious voice.
“Tell me what your reason is first. If you really have a valid reason to file a divorce with me then I might consider it."
"But if you can’t tell me a valid reason then I’m sorry because I will never agree to that damn divorce!” he answered with a clenched jaw.
“I don’t love you and I am so tired with this relationship. I know that our relationship is not true because we just got married based on a contract."
"I want a divorce because I am so done with this nonsense marriage. I don’t want to waste my life by living together with you when in fact I know that you are just living with me because of our daughter,” I just replied to him.
I looked him straight in the eyes again and this time I can’t see any emotion in his eyes and his face is just blank.
That is why I really can’t figure out what is running into his mind right now.
“Did you hear what I said, Alex? Why are you not talking right now?” I just asked him confused because he remained silent until not since I told him about my reason for filing a divorce to him.
“So, you want a divorce with me simply because you are already tired of our relationship and because you don’t love me."
"That is why you are already sick of our contract marriage. Did I get it right, Natasha?” he asked me with a serious and stern voice.
“Y-yes,” I simply replied.
Damn, I should not be stammering right now so that he will not know that I did not really mean all of the things that I said earlier.
“Oh, but can I just ask? Have you ever loved me in the first place? I mean, have you learned to love me even just a little bit or you are just showing your care and affection to me because I am your husband and I am the father of your child?” he asked me with a serious voice all of sudden.
I was taken aback by his question. That is why I did not manage to react and answer him right away.
If you only know how much I love you but I think you will not be able to know about that, not now and not forever.
“N-no, I have never loved you because I just see you as my contract husband and as the father of my child but nothing more than that,” I simply answered him without looking him in the eyes.
“Oh really? Then why can’t you look at me right now? I will only believe that if you can tell me that you don’t love me while looking straight in my eyes,” he just said to me.
I bit my lower lip and slowly moved my head up, then I looked him straight in the eyes without showing any emotions right now.
“I’m sorry to disappoint you but I have never loved you. I don’t love you and I will never learn to love you."
"I just married you because I need money and I am just living with you because I need you as the father of my child. But that’s it, no strings attached,” I just answered him with a blank face.
“Alright, enough of that. I have heard you already. Fine, if you badly want a divorce then I will give you what you want. I will call my lawyer immediately and tell him to process our divorce papers as fast as he could."
"But please, just do me a favor. Pack your things and leave my condo. I don’t want to see your face again. Don’t worry because I will still look for our daughter. I will do my best to find her."
"Now, I will just give you 30 minutes to sort your things out. After that, please feel free to leave my house. Our contract marriage is officially done and terminated now. We are not affiliated with each other anymore. So leave and don't ever talk to me again.”
The last thing he said before he left me stunned while standing like a statue in the living room.
The tears that I am holding back are continuously falling from my eyes right now.
Damn, I don’t know that it will hurt so much like this.
This is what I want to happen but it still hurts knowing the fact that Alex could easily agree and now he wants me to leave him permanently.
It’s like my heart tore into pieces because the man that I treasured and love the most since the beginning is throwing me out now.
Did I really make the better choice?