JA woke up when someone was softly knocking on the door. She rubbed her hand and took a quick gaze at her watch. It was already 8:00 0' clock in the morning and she felt she was already starving.
"Dear, can I get inside?", Mrs. Mercedez asked in a soft voice.
"Yes mom, come in"
Mrs. Mercedez stepped inside and sat on her bed.
"How's your sleep dear? Are you okay now? Jareed told me that you had a headache yesterday. Are you feeling good now?"
"I'm fine mom. Nothing to worry about", she responded and averted her gaze. She stood up to refresh herself.
"Excuse me for a while mom"
After a few minutes, JA stepped out of the bathroom and get dressed. Then she sat beside her mom.
"Where's Jareed mom? Is he at home?", she asked.
"Yes. he is in the work studio. You know your brother is really a workaholic person like your dad."
"Uhm dear, what's your problem? Is it about your health? Don't worry about it okay? ", her mother said more seriously.
"No, it's not about it mom"
Mrs. Mercedez held her hand and looked at her intently.
"Are you still mad at me because I got married again?" her mother queried.
She did not respond. She stood up to get the tv remote control and looked for a certain channel.
"Dear, please be honest with me. Are you still mad at me? Because I feel like you're not happy that I'm here with you.", her mother stuttered trying to control her emotion.
"I feel like you're too distant from me", Mrs. Park already burst out in tears.
JA looked at her mom and she was carried away by her emotion. After all, she is still her mother. She admits that she was upset when her mother got married again because she loved her dad so much and thinking that her mom would be spending the rest of her life with another man, has brought her great dismay. That's the reason why she started to keep her distance from her. She barely talked to her over the phone and did not even tell her, her whereabouts.
And now that her mother is crying in front of her. She could not help herself but get emotional as well. She caressed her mom's back trying to comfort her.
"Mom, that's enough. I don't want to see you crying. I am not mad at you. I admit I was upset when you married Jungwon's father but I understand it now mom. You just wanted to have someone who will stay beside you because Jareed and I will definitely have our own family in the future."
"Mom, I'm sorry. I am really sorry. I love you mom", she started sobbing.
Mrs. Park pulled her a hug, then wiped off her tears with her thumb.
"My dear, you're always an emotional lady like me. Stop crying now, dear. I love you and I don't want to see you cry"
She looked at her mom and smiled.
"Are you okay now mom?"
Mrs. Mercedez smiled and again they hugged each other tightly.
"Thank you for understanding dear"
"But, how true is it that you went back into writing? Jareed told me, you're inspired because of someone else. Who is that person dear? Can you tell me? Jareed told me you actually had already published your story but you deleted your account because you and your friend quarreled each other. Who is that friend of yours?" her mother was throwing her a lot of questions.
"Mom, she is a writer I met on Facebook. I made her the character of my story."
"She? Meaning she is a woman."
"Yes mom."
"So where's your story now? Can I read it?"
"No mom, I deleted it but it's in my laptop."
"Please publish it again dear and I'm going to read it. I understand it's hard for you to tell me because you're not closed to me as you were used to with your dad, but through reading your story, I'll get to know everything", her mother said with a mixed of sullenness in her voice.
"Mom, please don't be upset. You can read my story anyway", she smiled.
"Hmm. okay. What else can I do, but to wait until you will publish your story again", Mrs. Mercedez shrieked.
"Thank you mom", she said and smiled tenderly at her mother.
"You're smiling, but I can see the sadness in your eyes dear. Is it because of your friend?", her mother asked.
She just nodded and took a deep sigh.
"You know dear if that friend of yours is only a man, I would definitely think you're in love with him because if not, you will not be affected like that." Mrs. Mercedez uttered and smiled softly.
"What's that smile mom, you're teasing me", she smirked.
"No, I'm not!", her mom exclaimed and messed up her hair.
They chuckled each other until Jareed went inside.
"Oh, it's good to see both of you here mom, sweetie! But for now, let's take our breakfast okay?" Jareed smiled and encircled his hands into his mother's and sister's waist.
*******
After they're done eating. Mrs. Park and Jungwon, headed to the sala and watched TV shows, while she went inside her room. She tried to open her laptop to continue writing chapter 14 of the story, but she experienced "writer's block". Instead, she created another account on that reading platform and started publishing some of her poems. After that, she closed her lappy and went out of her room. She decided to go to her brother's work studio because she had this feeling that Zacky already chatted her brother.
She knocked on the door thrice.
"Yes come in"
She stepped inside and sat on the couch. Her brother was still very busy reviewing documents. After a while, Jareed set aside the papers and looked at her.
"I know why you're here sweetie.", he said softly and stood up.
Jareed stepped closer and sat beside her. He took his cellphone out of his pocket and gave it to her.
"You can read everything, sweetie. But please don't cry. Don't cry or else I will tell mom everything." Jareed gave her a cold gaze.
She started scrolling her brother's phone and clicked on the reading app.
She was starting to read Zacky's messages.
"You're taking her side, because she is your sister. Despite all the blame and insult you gave to me, but why I'm still here for the two of you? Why?"
"You guys are always suspicious to me, because you don't believe me"
"You told me, how busy you are. Well, for your kind information, I am busy too because I am a student. But still, I chatted your sister because I think of her as my friend. But you guys keep telling me I hurt her."
"Why would I hurt her?"
"And to tell you, someone has logged in to my account so the FB authority deleted it. But you think I blocked your sister and intentionally deleted my account. Why would I delete it when it contained beautiful memories?"
"You are a damn fool. The two of you are fools! Don't ever contact me anymore!
"I am just a kid who was getting insulted and blamed by the two matured fools"
"Fools! Don't ever contact me anymore!"
JA turned off the phone, because she could not take it anymore. She felt the pain inside her heart. But she tried to control herself because her brother was discreetly observing at her.
"Are you okay?", Jareed asked.
She just nodded and gave a brittle smile. After a while she went out of the room.
She felt her tears are already coming out, so she she ran hurriedly but suddenly bumped into Jungwon on her way towards her room.
"Hey, J.A.-yah, gwaenchana?wae ul-eo? (Why are you crying, are you okay?), Jungwon asked with so much concern.
But she did not respond. She continued going upstairs and went inside her room.
She cried and cried because she was really hurt.
She tried to open the reading platform and noticed someone had followed her. She knew it was one of Zacky's cousin. She posted on his timeline and thanked him for following her.
She laid down in bed while tears still streaming down her face. She did not know she fell asleep until the whole night. She woke up at 5:00 0' clock in the morning and tried to check if there was a message for her.
And there, she read Zacky's cousin's messages.
"Thanks for following you? My cousin told me everything and did not leave any single detail about you and your brother did to her"
"Do you think my ever dearest cousin, intentionally deleted her FB account, when she put so much effort in creating it?"
"That's what I told her, not to trust people too much because she would end up hurting. But because she thinks of you as her friend that's why it happened. Now, I will tell her not to be friends with you anymore. She can never be your friend"
"My cousin is just only 18 years old. She is still a kid and two mature fools, are fighting with her. You two are fools! Damn fools! Fools...fools.Die in shame!"
After reading all the messages, JA was catching again her breath. She got emotional again, so she decided to go out of her room and went to the rooftop to breathe some air. But she did not expect that Jungwon was also there and saw her already so she cannot avoid him anymore.
"JA, gwaenchana? What happened to you? I am so worried about you JA. Will you at least tell me why you are like that?", Jungwon shouted annoyingly.
A loud and piercing cry escaped from her mouth while covering her face with both her hands.
Jungwon approached her and pulled her a hug.
"Moseun iri isseo? Malhae, jebal. J.A. yah (What's going on JA, please tell me!)Jungwon's deep and husky voice quavered.
But she just continued sobbing, while Jungwon tried to caress her back.
After some time, she stopped crying and wiped off her tears. She was still there at the rooftop, sitting on a wood bench with Jungwon.
"Do you feel better now?", he asked.
She just nodded and looked at him.
"Komawo jungwon-ah. Chincha komawo (thank you Jungwon)", she uttered. She knew Jungwon feels something for her, but she only treated him as his brother.
"J.A. yah, jal duereo (JA, listen). Whatever burden you felt inside, you need to let it go. You know Jareed told me about your friend. Though he did not tell me the whole story but I knew you care for that person. At first, I got jealous and how I wished I was that person. But later when I found out, she is a girl, I felt relieved. And now you have to accept that she cannot be the person that can give you the love, because she is not a man.", Jungwon said softly as he tried to explain everything to her.
"J.A. yah, nan eonjena neol wihae yeogie isseo. Saranghanda.(I love you JA and I'm always here for you)", Jungwon finally confessed his feelings for her.
Jungwon's love confession had somehow warmed her heart. But deep within, she was longing for someone to love her back. She was hoping that someone would also say to her that he loves her too. But it's impossible.
For now, she needs to accept the reality. She needs to accept that Zacky is just an illusion and illusions could never be real. Although it's hard but it is just a matter of acceptance that will totally set her heart free.