Special Chapter: Part One
Ezra’s Point Of View.
SOMETIMES I wonder, what have I done wrong? Why do I have to go beyond terrible situations coming into my life? Why do I need to swallow these sufferings and withstand these tortures?
But then I realized, God wouldn’t have given me battles if he knew I couldn’t overcome it. He may have used it as a test to measure how resilient I am. He put me through my darkest days because he has a plan to proffer me something greater than what I deserve.
The scars I gained depicted how indestructible I was. Without several torments and grief, I would still be an incomplete puzzle to solve and a person who doesn’t know what path she was taking along her departure.
Another thing I comprehend is, life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it is about learning how to dance in the rain. To heal a wound, we need to stop touching it. Because life itself is a privilege, but to live life to the fullest and to choose happiness over anything else in the world — it’s a choice.
Pain corresponds to prosperity and solace. Once you get through the pain, you’ll soon have a taste of relief and you’ll find the reason why every teardrop was meant to fall and be trifled away.
In any case, we can’t bring back yesterday, so instead of reminiscing about what hurts us the most, why don’t we move forward and start anew?
The things in the past are gone. They’ve drifted off into the ether. You can’t go back and change them. You can’t redo them. All you have is now, and what you do in this moment determines the story that exists in the future.
Of course, it’s hard to let go. It’s one of the greatest lessons I keep learning over and over again. But when you do, there’s so much room for possibility. The most important part of all of this is that you don’t let the pain of the past prevent you from getting back out there in the world and trying your best again.
Learn to let go of the old to make room for the new. We are taught most of the time to hold on. But when you hold onto things that are no longer for you, you refrain yourself from the things that are supposed to show up from arriving.
The truth is, you’re going to get hurt from time to time. It’s inevitable. But refusing to risk at all because you’re scared delivers the greatest pain of all — regret.
In order to win, you have to be willing to lose. In order to gain an understanding in life, we need to feel heartaches. In order to grow as a human being, we need to embrace our flaws and mistakes. In order to live with freedom, we need to let go of things that weren’t for us in the first place. In order to get what we aim for, we need to sacrifice and struggle. Everything has a replacement, an exchange. That’s the truism of being alive.
You only learn and grow when you put your heart on the line. But it doesn’t mean that the pain will last forever, it will fade away as time passes by. Even if it feels like entering a needle; painful and difficult. Even it feels like a roller-coaster ride because of many surprises and tangles. Even if your past was tragic, or you had been through a tough state, life still goes on. You have to get up and find a way that resonates with you.
Happily, I managed to deal with those circumstances that challenged my durability of conquering everything because of him. Because of Mr. Hyde Faulkerson.
In the middle of chaos and storm, there was Hyde. He was my comfort. He became my motivation to keep going and to fight. He taught me how to be brave enough in life. He stayed by my side and helped me surpass the obstacles I was facing. He made me realize that no matter how cruel the world is to me, or no matter how narrow and rough the road I take, he will never let go of my hand and will join me throughout my endless journey until we reach the end.
So, if you ever thought of ending your life, always find at least one thing or one person that’ll be your anchor — that will stop you from giving up on life, that will become your reason to continue living.
May it be a person, an animal, or a thing. Whatever it is, keep it in your heart and use it as your light in the darkest of times.
At first, I thought I’m turning into someone I’m scared to be. But honestly, I’ve turned into someone I am really proud of. Because I became someone who’s strong enough to stay alive and someone who keeps on fighting her silent battles yet decided to stay still.
A smile flashed on my lips as my appointments and meetings for today finally ended. I closed my laptop and arranged the tons of paperworks piled up on my desk. I can finally go home after spending the entire day working and managing our company without a break.
My schedule is almost full this week due to the number of clients and businessmen inquiring with us. But despite being busy, I didn’t forget to spare some time to catch up and keep in touch with the people in the house.
I dialed Kiana’s phone number while walking out of the meeting room. I asked her a favor yesterday to babysit Jean for the meantime while I’m still in the company. Dad is on a business trip and will stay abroad for a vacation so he’s not available to take care of my daughter, Hyde is at his work as well.
“Hello, Kiana?” I said when she picked up the phone and answered the call. “How’s Jean? What is she doing?”
“She’s eating again. Oh, she’s infected with Kiro’s voraciousness!” I can imagine Kiana slapping her own forehead. “How about you?”
“It was a long and tiring day.” I let out a burdensome sigh. “I want to sleep now. I’m on my way home, by the way. I’ll get my things inside the office then I’ll be driving off.”
“All right. Take care!”
I was piqued by the sound of the wall clock. The moon is setting and the sky is getting dark. I headed straight to my office and took my shoulder bag before I left the company.
My car near the barricades started to release its noise, indicating the engine started. I fought drowsiness while driving. I can’t wait to hug my baby. Only by seeing her bubbly smile removes the tiredness I feel.
When I got home, I immediately parked in the garage and got out of the car. The peak of the unwavering moonlight at evening didn’t get my attention, instead, my eyes darted to the direction of a silhouette of the man I got used to seeing for the past years.
I was surprised to find Hyde waiting at the door, Xavier was by his side and carrying Jean, while Kiana was holding Kiro. I smiled bigger than earlier.
I approached Hyde and hugged him tightly. He pulled me closer to his side, letting me lean on his chest while he parted some strands of hair hitting my face. I closed my eyes to feel his embrace and stayed quiet for a minute.
Then, I realized, crescent moons don’t always appear in the middle of the night. It’s only 7 PM, and I’m seeing two crescents smiling at me from the downside of the house.
“My baby is tired,” Hyde said softly and kissed my forehead.
“Well, not anymore.” I hugged him even tighter. “I feel at ease now that I’m home…”
At the end of the day, it is still where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and have been before. It is him, he’s my home.
He may not have been my first love, but he was the love that made all the other loves irrelevant. He set the standard I have in men too high, even I couldn’t reach it. I believe when they say, sometimes, you never quite find love. It finds you and reveals itself when you least expect it to.
I picked up my daughter and played with her. Suddenly, the tiredness and lethargic I was feeling has gone. The back and neck pain I was enduring the entire time flew away. I rest by seeing them every time I come home.
Kiana had already cooked and served dinner so we ate together and shared the table. I don’t know what the occasion was and the five also arrived one by one. We talked about our lives and as usual, the house was filled with laughter because of their silliness.
We first put Kiro and Jean to sleep before we decided to have a drink. I think the last time we hung out was Clarence’s birthday, which was three months ago now, because all of us became busy and had no time to contact each other. Only tonight is the chance we have so we’re going to make the most of it.
I leaned my head on Hyde’s shoulder. He’s sitting next to me while drinking the glass of beer he was holding. I can’t take my eyes off him. His face is breathtaking. I could even stare at him nonstop.
“I love you, mi amor,” I blurted out all of a sudden, but even though it wasn’t supposed to come out from my mouth, I didn’t take it back.
A tiny little smirk formed at the edge of his lips. “I love you more than you do, baby.”
He held me in his arms and gave me a look, which I never received from anybody else and which had a sense of love, care, and happiness. My heart beat furiously. In one feeble attempt to finally cut the distance, he leaned in and our lips touched, and we melted into each other.
A moment so intimate, so vivid, so infinite, yet one that’d transform to become a memory I’d cherish for years to come. A memory that words can’t ever be enough to describe. The bond was unbreakable. The love has not reduced a bit. Even now, his kisses feel the same.
Hyde knew how afraid I am of heights, but still, to fall onto him no matter how deep it will be — I’d jump right away without any second thoughts of saving myself from this free-fall.
After all, it’s him I am falling into.
Just like the sun, I want him to shine bright. Just like the stars, I want him to be the light in the night sky. Just like the moon, I want him to be the comfort in the melancholy times. Just like the road signs down the street, I want him to serve as the guide towards the right path. Just like paradise, I want him to feel safe in my arms. Just like getting lost along the woods, I want him to find a way to come back to me. Just like the power of our love for each other, I want him and I to stay together for a lifetime.
Just like everything I wanted, nothing else would matter as long as he is with me.
Until now, I still feel like I’m on cloud nine and floating. I can’t contain my happiness. The thought of falling in love with a bad boy never crossed my mind, yet here I am, head over heels with Hyde; the bad boy whom I met at a least expected time and took my heart without a warning. The man I never imagined I would love.
Even if I would be given a chance to choose whether to change my fateful past or not, I would rather keep it. Because I’m nothing today without the pain of yesterday. I have no regrets at all as well.
I don’t regret living with the seven bad boys because I’m the bad boys’ girl…