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Chapter 28 Preparing For A Farewell
When Ninth gave them the notice that they need to end the survival game by next month, they think about it from time to time. They snatch some time to think about it alone and what they can do about it, between them no one wanted to kill each other but they can't refuse the truth that they need to end the game with one winner.
----- Penelope's POV ----
I don't know what can I do about this problem, I used to join this game not only to protect Sebastian but also to have my selfish wish, a wish to be with my beloved sister Sophia again. I have so many sleepless night to think about it, I wanted to be with my sister again but I can't kill Sebastian, I wanted to die but Dreos didn't allowed it. I don't know what should I choose because both of them are my happiness, they save me from my insanity, they fixed the broken me. I don't know, I don't know what I'm going to do (she cried). When Ninth showed up, I was depressed because I know Dreos will gave us the notice to end this crazy game but I tried to calm down like Sebastian always said to me, Ninth was not our enemy. I don't want to be alone, because every time that I am alone I heard the voices again.
"Kill him, kill him!" the voices said "We know that you wanted to be with your sister again, you need to kill him" the voices continuously said
When I heard those voices, I always saw Sophia's face but I know it was not her because Sophia was a kindhearted sister and a sweet child. I am trying to be brave to face my hallucinations and my insanity. All I wanted was locked myself in the room to avoid Sebastian, I don't want to hurt him but he always trying to reach me to heal my insanity, he tried his very best to make me smile and ease the burden in my heart. We have so many plans as a couple, we plan to have children and build a happy family, I know he will do what he was promised to me. Sometimes, I thought it was just a show to beg for his life. His kindness, love and hope that he gave to me, I know that everything was true but inside my head voices said;
"He just trying to lure you, because he was afraid to die" with a loud laugh "he was trying to lure you to save his life and his selfish wish"
It continuously ringing on my head like a song that repeatedly heard to somewhere. I am trying to be happy because I trust Sebastian, I can feel that all the things about him was true. There were times I saw Sophia crying, she wanted to be with me again but I don't know if she wanted me alive or she wanted me to be dead.
(Sophia's laugh) "Penelope, let's play" she said "I wanted to be with you again, I miss you so much" a smile from her lips
I miss my sister, (she started to cry) I kept on blaming myself that I left her all alone in our room. It's my fault why my parents didn't sent her to school, I wish that I am the weakling not her so that maybe I'm the one who killed that time. I just wanted to die rather that to kill Sebastian for Sophia, I wanted to sacrifice myself for him. My decision, I wanted to end this crazy game, I wanted to end my insanity and above those wished I wanted him to make his selfish wish came true.
Every night, we are in the same bed but I can't make him happy because my the voices told me that was the perfect time to kill him. I have knowledge when it comes to poison, I studied that without the consent of my parents to avenge my sister and I don't want to use it to the one who love me unconditionally. For now, I wanted him to be happy with me in my last days and I wanted to give him his selfish wish. When I felt my insanity hits me, I always looked for the god of this game, I wanted to kill him but I felt frustration when I didn't find him. When I lose my sanity, I just locked myself in my room to cry a lot and hurt myself to able to release my anger that I didn't know where came from. There were times that I walked towards the park where the first time I saw Dreos thinking that he will show up himself there but even I waited him until dusk, he didn't heard my cry. When Sebastian away once, I tried to contact Ninth and went to her house to talk about it and asked where can I find him. She was quiet for a few minutes then she told me that even her she didn't know, I felt so much depressed that time and my anxiety triggered in no time. I tried to calm down and left. While walking towards in nowhere, my head is aching like my another personality wanted to go out and berserk so I have no choice but to call Sebastian and tell him where am I. I'm just a burden for him, as I looked at him I made up my mind I will be the one to be killed in the day we put everything in the end.
---------Sebastian's POV---------
I am trying to be strong for her because I know I am her source of strength. I was bothered and felt so much worries about the day when we see Ninth in the house when we went home from cemetery. We thought that Dreos will not gave us notice about the game because we will end up soon when we settle things and talked who will be the one to be killed. Every time we talked about this Penelope's depression and anxiety triggered and locked herself in her room, yes she has her own room. She requested it since the day Dreos told us that the survival game was not yet done.
I wanted her to be happy, I wanted to feel the security in me but I don't know what I am going to do. I don't to suffer her more, I asked her so many times what was her selfish wish but she didn't told me. I was very worried for her every time she went out on her own, I am afraid that something will trigger her another personality to berserk. I understand now why for her killing was very easy like she just slaughtering an animal because she was not the sweet Penelope I know but the another Penelope was obsessed on me. We went to different psychiatrist to ask for medication, they only gave tranquilizer and medicines that she can calm down but the full medication will be from herself and we must find the root of her mental illness. When I asked her about her family background, her mental illness was from her mother and the one who triggers it was the day when her twin sister was killed. As I comprehend things, the only person who can cure her illness was her twin sister who was in the grave in the present. I always told her that everything will be fine but I don't know how things made easy for us. I tried to talk Dreos to tell that I surrender to this game, I am willing to die for her selfish wish but I was stunned to Dreos answer;
He laughed at me, "Do you think that everything will go according to your will, First?" he asked like he was mocking me "I am the ruler of this game and no one will tell me what to do or what the rules are" he added
I tried to hold on, "So you are saying that we need to fight each other until one of us will die?" I asked him angrily
He looked at me eye to eye that gave me goosebumps, "Yes, because I wanted to know how much love you feel for each other" he answered
That makes no sense, I don't understand if he knew the feeling of being loved or in love. Maybe no and maybe yes, the another thing that I thought most of the time was about Ninth. She was with us but I don't know why she was not belonged to the one to be killed. Many nights I thought about this, but I need to accept the thing that I'll be the one to be killed for the sake of the one who love me so much even I have so many flaws. As I comprehend things, maybe Penelope needs her twin sister than me.
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The Decision to be Made
Sebastian and Penelope talked seriously on how they end everything. Penelope cried bitterly when she heard that Sebastian was like saying goodbye to her.
"But what if, we will not challenge each other until the date that Dreos gave us?" she asked hesitantly
Sebastian felt so much sadness, "Do you think, Dreos will agreed to it?" he asked
She was surprised on his reaction, "Don't tell me that you talked Dreos about this?" she asked
He can't looked to her eyes, "Yes I talked to him on what the other rules that can override the rules because of Ninth" he answered "I know there was something to Ninth that Dreos override the rules" he added
Penelope thought about it, "But Ninth told me that she don't know anything about Dreos, is she telling a lie to us?" she asked then she suddenly held her head
Immediately Sebastian approached her, "Are you alright?" he asked looking to her face if something hurt her
Penelope pushed him so hard, "Let me go!" she shouted "Don't come near to me" she added enduring the pain on her head
Even he was scared on what Penelope can do to him, he stood up then went back to her and embrace her so tight "It's fine, my love please calm down" he said while crying
But Penelope keep on pushing him, "Let me go, Sebastian!" she cried "I don't want to hurt you, so please let me go" she cried more
He just endure her punches, "It's okay if you hurt me, I was worried very much for you every time you are like that" he cried also
She tried to calm down herself but her head was still aching, "I don't want you to die, honey" she sobs "I don't want to kill you either, I wanted you to be happy" she said after another sobs
He just embraced her so tight that she may feel his love and concern for her, "Honey, may I know your selfish wish?" he whispered to her ear
She was shocked that moment and the name of her twin sister rings to her mind, "I wanted to be with my sister in the afterlife" she answered
He realized that his intuition was true, she was longing for her sister "Please be with me even in the short time before you have your sister?" he whispered again
She was very nervous to his words, she can hear his heart throbs so fast like he was afraid on something, "What do you mean?" she asked
He shook his head to hers, "Nothing, I just wanted to be with you in this life" he tried to held his tears so that Penelope will not worried to him
"Yes, I wanted to be with you more to this life" she answered then leaned her head to his chest "Until the time I'll die in your own hands" she said to her mind crying
Sebastian wiped his tears, "Let's eat?" he invite "I'm hungry and also it almost dinner" he added
Penelope tried to smile, "I'll cook something for you" she saidDownload Novelah App
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