Self-confidence vs. Self-esteem.
"When we feel that we can do something without a doubt, that is confidence. But having self-confidence doesn't mean we can't have low self-esteem. Sometimes, we may feel confident in our abilities but we may still question our worth. Have you ever felt like you can do it (a certain thing) but at the same time you were doubting yourself, not your ability?"
Perhaps, for some people, they may find this question confusing, but for Senthie Salvador, it wasn't. It was how she felt for how long she could remember. She was confident in her skills and abilities, but she had low self-esteem that most of the time, these questions would pop into her head, "do I deserve this? Am I allowed to be lucky?" and also, the contradicting one, "do I really have what it takes?"
In short, self-confidence would be the trust in one's ability, whereas, self-esteem would be the trust in one's self, how a person would see, feel, think, and believe in him/herself.
***********
SENTHIE had packed all her stuff last night for this very day. The day she'd leave her house and would live for a week or two in a studio at the GMC building. An offer by Jimhuesh two days ago.
"I am making you an offer to design my mother's gown for an event."
Senthie didn't agree right away. She had to be enlightened as to why he was offering such a big deal. The GMC's CEO was an important person in the business world, she had a big name and wasn't just a rich person. Almost everyone knew her in the country and Senthie couldn't just say yes to the offer. She wouldn't bring shame to the CEO. A small-time designer like her couldn't just dream so big, she knew her limits. She knew that she did not have that much experience yet and she was afraid to make mistakes. It was a big responsibility and she didn't think she had the right to accept it. She wasn't confident enough, though it made her heart thump at the idea of having the chance to design a gown for a well-known person. She was overjoyed, excited, and grateful, but at the same time, she was afraid.
"I can't accept that offer. I'm not sure if I have the skills, I'm not confident, I'm just an average fashion designer." Senthie laughed, not sure if she was indeed talking about self-confidence or self-esteem, perhaps, the latter since she had already proved her skills to be good when she won third place at an international competition. "But, may I ask why are you making that offer to me?"
"You think I would make an offer to someone I think doesn't have the skills? Do you really think I'd just make an offer to an average fashion designer?" Jimhuesh scoffed as he folded his arms. "I wouldn't do that. Look, Ms. Senthie, you are an amazing designer, you really need to see that for yourself and be confident about it. The gown that you made for Kassandra's birthday? My mother happened to see it through the pictures, but damn, she was amazed she wanted to meet you. So, I want to surprise her. Can you do me the favor? You can charge me triple."
Senthie couldn't react right away. She was surprised at how he was straightforward and she liked that, though she was embarrassed by his compliment. "Really? Thank you. I'll do you the favor, but you don't have to pay me triple."
He raised a brow. "Are you sure about that?"
"Yes, of course. But at least give me a week or two to finish the gown."
Jimhuesh chuckled as he leaned his back on the chair. "Sure, but one more thing about this offer, you'll have to stay in one of the GMC's studios. That's where you will make the gown. And also, to meet my mother. You see, she likes to visit her designer very often so staying there would be convenient for her with her busy schedule. You don't have to wonder why, because that is very normal for every designer she hires."
"Oh, I see. I'm afraid I'll have to refuse. I just can't abandon Fashion Sen's that long, and, too much distance at that. GMC is located in Alabang, right? I can't always travel back and forth, you know how bad the traffic is..." Senthie paused when Jimhuesh flashed his palm, telling her to wait. He then took out his phone from his suit's inner pocket, his brows furrowed for a moment, and then he sighed. He placed his phone back in his pocket and hinted at Senthie to continue by nodding at her.
"What I'm saying is... I can't just leave all the work to Cecile and Kassandra."
"You don't trust them?"
"No, it's nothing like that. I just... I just kinda feel guilty leaving everything to them."
"Please... I'm sure they'll be happy for you, besides, you'll be doing it not just for yourself, but for Fashion Sen's, also. They can manage just fine." He smiled warmly. "You can charge me five times the amount, just say yes."
After a moment of overthinking and analyzing the future situation, Senthie came to a conclusion. Perhaps, it was her greed, she agreed, but the more she thought of it, the more she realized it was for the sake of Fashion Sen's name.
And that was how she ended up staying in Studio Z, on the 29th floor located just below the top floor, which was unexpectedly a Penthouse--the CEO's lounge area to be exact.
Before Senthie unpacked her things, she called Cecile one more time and reminded her of everything that she had turned over to her, such as; sending the designs to the factory; asking the customers (specifically those who wants customized dresses) if they could wait until Senthie comes back; lastly, be patient to every customer.
The studio was a lot bigger than Senthie had imagined. There were ten studios on the 29th floor, from studio Q to Z and each of them had its purpose, art, photography, music, dance, etc. GMC offered these studios to be leased by people who dreamed of having their own workshops. But as for Senthie, she didn't need to, she could use the fashion studio for free and what was more amazing was that it was like a house with a studio. She could literally live here as if it was a condo unit. It was spacious, clean, and fully furnished like a house--more likely beautiful than her house, actually.
"If this is a dream, I have to wake up now, or else, I would be hoping this never ends," she muttered to herself as she plopped her back on the soft and fluffy bed.
----------------------
"My mother wants to meet you tonight. I'll pick you up at 7, be ready, then." It was a text message that fuzzed Senthie's evening.
Jimhuesh sent the text at 6 pm, which was the worst time, ever for her. She hadn't taken a bath yet and one hour of spare time wasn't gonna cut it. She instantly pulled herself up and moved triple time. It was around 6:57 when she was about to slip her foot into the white stilettos paired with her white long sleeves pencil cut dress that was above the knee when the doorbell rang.
"Coming!" she shouted, but suddenly realized that the room was soundproofed. She grabbed her purse and scurried to the door to open it.
Jimhuesh was looking at his watch when Senthie saw him, so she also looked at her watch to check the time. She was just right in time, and so, was Jimhuesh.
There was a brief silence before he asked Senthie if she was done. He was staring at her before that and it made her wonder if there was something on her face.
"You... You look...nice, I guess," he said with a straight face, no emotion like a blank canvas.
"Thanks, I guess?" Senthie laughed nervously as she stepped outside and gently closed the door behind her. She wasn't nervous because of him, but because of what might happen later. She wasn't prepared for it, it was too soon for her. She always hated being called in last minute. If possible, she would like to be aware of it in advance, three days beforehand, if not, at least a day or two.
Her heart was pounding so hard now and being at Jimhuesh's side made her more anxious. She was not used to his face yet and meeting his mother, GMC's CEO could give her a heart attack at any moment.
Soon, after forty-five minutes drive to the meeting place, they arrived at a 5-star hotel.
"Are you nervous?" Jimhuesh asked as he pulled out a chair for her. They were at a fine dining hotel restaurant.
"Is it that obvious?" She took her seat. Jimhuesh at the other side of the table.
"Yes. You were fidgeting when we were in the car and until now." He adjusted his tie. "And, you keep on glancing at the sky. Were you checking out the weather?"
Senthie giggled. "No, I was looking at the moon."
He raised his brows like he seemed interested. "You love the moon, too?"
Her eyes widened. "Yes, do you?"
He smiled but Senthie was somewhat disappointed when he shook his head. "No, but my best friend, Rychie does."
"Oh," she uttered, and then silence took over.
A few more minutes and the CEO came with a waiter at her side, escorting her to their table. Jimhuesh raised to his feet and gave his mother a quick hug. Senthie nervously stood up and kept herself calm and collected as she faced the CEO. Jimhuesh introduced them to each other. Senthie smiled and bowed her head a bit as she greeted the sophisticated woman before her. She was wearing a black dress slightly like Senthie's, but with two-fourths sleeves only and its skirt was three inches below the knee. She looked young, almost as if she was just Jimhuesh's older sister, especially, on how much their resemblance was. She had gray hooded eyes and a straight nose just like her son.
Senthie received a warm smile and a surprising peck on her cheek that made her blush and be dumbfounded for a moment. The CEO hinted to her to sit and then Jimhuesh assisted his mother as he directed his hand to the seat that the waiter had pulled out for her.
"Ms. Salvador, I hope you don't mind me picking out our order," the CEO said as she reached for the menu from the waiter.
Senthie smiled and politely replied, "I do not mind, ma'am."
"Great! I'd love to introduce to you the best ones they have, but, please, just call me Miss Jenny." She beamed when Senthie nodded.

Senthie breathe in relief to know that she could relax a bit and seemed that she could make it through this night. The CEO was less intimidating than she had expected.
"We'd like to have iced tea with lemon for drinks, buffalo shrimp skewers, sweet potato fries, smoked nacho grande for the appetizer, for the salad, pasta, and specialty, caesar salad, farfalle with shrimp and zucchini, and fresh grilled beef, respectively. And lastly, for the dessert, tiramisu ice cream and carrot cake with cream cheese, please."
The waiter nodded and repeated the order, and then when Miss Jenny agreed, the waiter went off and thanked them.
"I'm really glad to finally meet you, Ms. Salvador. I wasn't able to meet you sooner since I was in a business meeting abroad for three days. I would have attended Kassandra's birthday if that meeting wasn't important."
"It's truly an honor and my pleasure to hear that from GMC's CEO. Thank you, Ms. Jenny, for taking notice of someone like me. I was greatly overjoyed when your son told me that you've been wanting to meet me," Senthie stated, thanking God internally for not stuttering.
Fifteen minutes had passed, and the drinks were served together with the appetizers. Then another fifteen minutes, the salad, pasta, and one of the restaurant's specialty was served. Senthie was having a conversation with the CEO about how she became a fashion designer, and when she mentioned that her store Fashion Sen's was a tenant of GMC, the CEO was surprised. She didn't know. Jimhuesh didn't tell her, or perhaps, he wouldn't tell her unless she would ask him.
The conversation was going well, Senthie also mentioned how she was thankful to Kassandra, that she volunteered to be the brand ambassador of Fashion Sen's. Everything was light, each other's company, the atmosphere, the restaurant's ambiance, and how Jimhuesh just faded into the background, not talking, just quiet throughout the moment not until the CEO mentioned something that made him speak.
"Mom, stop. You don't have to tell her that."
"Oops, sorry, Jim." Ms. Jenny pressed her lips together. "I just can't control my tongue sometimes. Forgive me."
"It's fine. But it'll help if you avoid talking about me," he uttered sternly and then wiped his mouth with the table napkin. He was about to stand up when he added, "I guess we won't be having any dessert tonight, good night, mom." He then kissed her on the cheek and asked Senthie to go with him.
Senthie looked at Ms. Jenny to see her reaction, and when she nodded and mouthed, "it's fine, you can go," Senthie apologized and followed Jimhuesh as he began to walk without even looking back.
"I wonder what happened," Senthie mumbled as she walked faster, trying to keep her pace with Jimhuesh. "Such a waste! I wanted to try the desserts so bad!"
_____________________________
Hello, Noomiells!
Thank you for reading this chapter. Hope you liked it. :D
Senthie playing hard to get. Doesn't want triple but five times the amount? XD
Are you guys moon lovers?
Senthie meets Jim's mom, real quick! What do you think of Ms. Jenny?
Not me wanting to have a taste of the desserts, too, in real life! XD What is your favorite dessert, btw?
Jim walked out! Do you wonder why?
I would like to know your opinion. Please, let me know! :D