Solstice, I want to start first by saying sorry to you. At first, I admitted it, I hated you for marrying me. I talked to you before you decided who you’d marry, and I told you not to choose me, but you did. All I could think of before was to hurt you and make you suffer because of what you had done to me. I wanted to see you suffer before, but now I don’t even want to see you suffer anymore. I’m sorry for treating you like a stranger before. Please forgive me. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m really sorry. I want you to know that I really, really regret it. There are no words to describe how much I regret that I hurt you. I wish I could go back in time and treat you better back then. I’m sorry for everything, Solstice.
While the time passed by that I was with you, I saw how much you tried your best to be a good wife to me. I know how much effort you put into making it up for me. I was shocked to know that you developed feelings for me, but at that time, I was using your feelings to take advantage of hurting you. I know I hurt you too much. I was hurting you emotionally, and I know how much it hurts you. Before, all I could say was you being so desperate to get me, but now I can say that you’re a good wife to me. You’re the best wife anyone could have.
While I was out in the country, I slowly realized that I like you. Every day that passed, I was in my room, feeling empty. You know that feeling that there is a missing piece in your life? That’s what I felt, Solstice. I was missing you at that time. I wanted to be with you. I missed your greetings every morning, afternoon, and night. I know that you texted me, but I want to hear you greet me personally. I missed how you asked me to give you hugs. I miss how you checked on me every night to make sure I'm fine and I’m asleep like I’m a child that needs to be checked on. I missed how you secretly kissed me on the forehead every night when I was asleep. I missed how you put effort into making food for me even though you don’t know how to cook. Missing you made me realize that I like you.
When I came back here, I was happy that I’d see you again. I saw you again when you were standing at the entrance. When I came in, I saw that you were trying your best not to look at me, but at the time that Kiara spoke, I was happy because you stared at her because maybe you’re jealous. I was scared that you don’t have feelings for me anymore, but with that jealousy in your eyes that I saw, it made me a little happy. I was trying my best not to hug you. At that time, I was trying my best to stay professional. That time was the hardest time for me to stay professional. I was fighting myself just not to show how much I felt for you at that time. As I got into my office, memories flashed back in my mind, especially those memories that I had treated you badly. I regret those times that I didn’t treat you right.
At the time that you heard me and your father talking about the annulment, I was going to say that I would not continue the annulment and instead I was going to confess my feelings to you. Darling, that time I didn’t know what to do. I was going to chase you, but your father stopped me because he asked me if I was really planning to continue the divorce, and I told him that I wasn’t. That time you asked me if I hated you, no darling, I don’t hate you, I like you, and I love you. On that day, I don’t know what to do. I’m a doctor, but I don’t know what to do. I was shocked to learn that you’re pregnant, and I’m sad because we lost our first baby. I’m sorry that I didn’t do anything that could have saved our baby immediately. If my mind hadn’t gotten blank at that time, I’m sure I could have found a way to save our baby. I promised our baby that I’m going to take care of you this time.
Now, I want to treat you better. I may not be able to express it, but I will try. I will try to be the husband that you always wanted. I’ll be your man now, my lady. I’ll make it up to you this time. We will be happy now and will build a family together. I will do my best not to hurt you anymore. I will be wise with my words, so I won’t hurt you. I will make you feel loved this time. I promise to treat you better this time. I love you.
My Solstice, I’m thankful because you didn’t give up on me. There were days when you could have given up, but you didn’t. Instead, you chose to endure the pain I was causing you, and you chose to embrace that pain in order to make me feel loved, to take care of me, and to prove to yourself that you could be a good wife to me. Darling, thank you, thank you for staying with me regardless of how hard and painful it was to stay with me.
To be honest, I felt the warmth and serenity that I’ve been longing for with you. Being with you made me feel that I was at home. You’re giving me the love that I never expected to come. You gave me everything that I didn't know that I needed. You’re my home Solstice. You will be the only one I will run to whenever I feel lonely, sad, or mad because of the love you’re making me feel.
I love you, darling. I knew I was too late to make promises to you; I knew I was too late to love you; and I knew I was too late to save our child. Darling, I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Allow me to be your comforter, strength, guide, friend, someone who will help you, and someone who will love you, and you will be my comforter, strength, guide, friend, someone who will help me, and someone who will love me too.
Darling, if you need me or want me tell me and call me right away, I don’t care. If I’m working or not. I will be always here for you now, I won’t leave you anymore. No matter how big or small your problem is, I’ll be here to help you.
I don’t know how to express how I feel about you, so I wrote this essay to express myself. I’m happy to have you, Solstice, in my life. I’m still sorry for the things I have done for you. I know that I don’t deserve this chance you gave me, and I know that I don’t deserve to have someone like you. I want to make more happy and sweet memories with you. Darling, I love how your eyes speak for what you feel, I love to hear your voice that speaks for yourself, and I love the warmth I feel whenever I’m close to you. I want your kisses, hugs, and cuddles, darling. I want to lay you down on my chest to listen to how fast you make my heart beat when we’re together.
I want you to know that you mean so much to me, darling. Now you are the reason I smile, darling. I don’t know what to do if I lose you. Even though I wasn't being a good person to you before, you still loved me, even though the side I showed you was my bad side only. I’m really sorry, darling.
I love you, darling. I want to make more memories with you, but this time it should be filled with so much love. If ever we have misunderstandings, fights, or arguments, I want both of us to fix them together. No need to tell anyone about our problem. I want it to stay between the two of us and no one else. Misunderstandings will make our relationship better and mature, and we must learn something from it, but as much as possible, we should learn to understand each other so it won’t lead to any arguments.
Let me make myself a better man for you and let’s make our relationship better. I love you.
this time, all promises will be kept
the moon and the sun will meet
this is our eclipse, m'lady
i will love you eternally