Allison: I don't want to.
Allison: I don't want to wait for your message.
"I don't want wait for your attention to be mine." I bitterly whisper.
Luigi: That won't happen. I will give it all to you.
I laugh and replied. "Scam."
Luigi: My one hundred percent attention.
Luigi: I'm not joking.
Luigi: I'm serious. About this. About you.
I scratch my head out of frustration. Why now?! Shit! I was about to enjoy my whole day being away from stress but now stress follows me! Stress?! Don't chu wanna leave me atleast once?!
Allison: Why now? Why now that We are already over?
Luigi: And that's my mistake.
I can't help but to replied sarcastically.
Allison: It's good that you know it.
Luigi: I never appreciated the things that you have done for me. But now, I was in myself. Natauhan ako.
Luigi: I realize that Even though she's sexy and she have everything, anytime my feelings will fade for her because there is no love in it. It's just a liking to her.
Another tears fell in my eyes. Why now? Why now that I'm trying my best to move on in my life without you? Why now that I was having fun? Why would you make me cry when all I want is to have fun and runaway from stress?
Luigi: I can't love them. But you? I don't know why. Many months passed but here I am.
I don't know what to say. So I don't reply to his words instead I open our groupchat
//Groupchat//
Allison:Guys! I have the hottest issue of the year!!
Jabez: Spill.
Angel: Spill the gossip!
I send them the screenshots of our conversation. I'm feeding them the hottest news! It's about Luigi. The only guy that I let them chat and meet. Talk about being too serious with him...
Allison: Boom.
Jabez: Owshii I just finish reading it and I have a lot of opinions!!
Allison: I hope all of you are okay After reading it.
Jabez: first of all gago siya. Hahahaha.
Jabez: Bullshit with the part when he confessed that he hurt you and the other girl.
I bite my lips and seek for Karyll's advice. Shems. With this lunatics, she's the only one who got
Allison: Wifeey~ update about my lovelife. Luigi is coming back!
I send her the screenshots and one minute pass and she send a video about her reaction.
I answer it. "What?! Acckkk!!! My gosh! This is the biggest news of the year!" Karyll exclaimed.
I pout while she keeps on freaking out. "Taena girl, I'm Schock! So... are you gonna give him a second chance or you'll think about it?"
She give me a questioning look before her emotions shifter in a proud look. "You have an intense conversation! Buy I'm so proud of you!" She pout. "I felt that...you are so matured in your relationship. Like you are not marupok na. And tell me first what you where thinking about him okay?"
I didn't reply to her and answer Luigi.
Allison: You know? Maybe we are not the one for each other. Like I can see our conversation being lifeless when we are atill together. Maybe I keep on putting a life in our conversation but it's just lifeless. I just don't want to go back in the situation. The situation where I am the only one who cares about it.
That's really how I feel and my opinion about it. I did that so I can call him mine and so we can be together. I really love him. Till now... I think I'm just being denial because I don't want to hurt myself again...
Luigi: That time I'm so stupid. I admit it. It's my fault. Sorry. But now I'm sure about you. No more fake feelings.
I frown. What the fuck? So fake feelings? My brain can't process all the things That I read so I need to take a break and talk to my beshies.
Allison: Wait. I will talk to you later okay?
My frown deepen when Luigi change my nickname to "Soon to be my girlfriend". Oh shit. My heart is beating so damn fast!
Luigi: Okay. Take your time. But I'm really serious about it.
First I replied to Karyll's video massage. She always look in the bright side and never take sides.
Allison: Yiiee. I know that you will always support me with my decision. That's why I'm using my brain to think about this situation. I know that I have been too harsh with my words to him but it's just right, right? It's just I always keep my own opinion by myself that's why I say those words.
Karyll: Nope. It's okay. You didn't say those harsh words just to hurt him. You said those words to confirm everything.
I frown when while thinking about the words that will came out of my mind.
Allison: I want to give him another chance. But I don't have my old feelings for him. As in I already moved on but I want him to come back to me. I... I just want to see how he will change the way he sees in me.
I pout. I am indeed being denial with every words I said. I won't want him back if I'm already over with him...
Karyll: When did this happened?
I laugh as I type my reply. I hope she won't scold me.
Allison: Just now.
Karyll: Naks. Late night talks as always.
Before reading a lot of massage from our groupchat. I open the pop up message from Luigi first.
Allison: There is some things that We can't get back.
Allison: For real, you broke my trust. And that's my biggest disappointment in you. Because trust is something that is hard to be back.
My mouth hang open when a song from the neighbor houses came into my ears.
"Maybe you don't like talking too much about yourself
But you should've told me that you were thinkin' 'bout someone else~"
What a great music for my situation right now! I frown.
Luigi: That's okay. I deserve it anyway.
"You're drunk at a party or maybe it's just that your car broke down
Your phone's been off for a couple months, so you're calling me now~"
Luigi: But I'm really serious.
Luigi: We always regret things when it's too late.
"I know you, you're like this
When shit don't go your way you needed me to fix it
And like me, I did
But I ran out of every reason~"
I need to confess what I know. I will not leave him in the dark. Or maybe he know that I knew but he keeps his reaction dumb.
"Now suddenly you're asking for it back
Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?
Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had
But I don't really care how bad it hurts
When you broke me first
You broke me first~"
Allison: I need to confess this. You know, my friends know about the other girl. They keep a warning to me to stop. And I don't want to make a wrong decision. I don't want them to think of you as a bad guy.
"Took a while, was in denial when I first heard
That you moved on quicker than I could've ever, you know that hurt
Swear for a while I would stare at my phone just to see your name
But now that it's there, I don't really know what to say~"
Ugh! For real?! What is wrong with the music?! Ugh!!
Luigi: I can prove myself that I'm really serious.
Luigi: Now that I'm back here in Malabon. I can come back there for you. I can do anything so i can prove that I'm serious with what I felt about you.
"Now suddenly you're asking for it back
Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?
Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had
But I don't really care how bad it hurts
When you broke me first
You broke me first~"
I look at the time. It's already Midnight. But here I am. Still awake and talking to him while the elders is taking a break and my cousins is having fun.
In this kind of situation I still choose to talk to him. Even though I should go and bond with my cousins.
"What did you think would happen?
What did you think would happen?
I'll never let you have it
What did you think would happen?~"
Luigi: Please give me a second chance. And i promise that I will not waste it anymore.
"Now suddenly you're asking for it back
Could you tell me, where'd you get the nerve?
Yeah, you could say you miss all that we had
But I don't really care how bad it hurts
When you broke me first
You broke me first
(You broke me first)
You broke me first, oh~"
I close my eyes and decided to stop talking to him. If I keep on talking to him i know that I will make another stupid decision.