I smile when I play the song that I always love while having a chit chat with my friends.
"Sometimes you think you'll be find by yourself
Cause a dream is a wish you make all alone
It's easy to feel like you don't need help
But it's harder to walk on your own~"
//THE OTHER GROUP CHAT//
Rohanie: Don't be marupok bhe.
Niña: I hope everyone have a load. Duh~
Rohanie: Hi, I miss you. That's what he said Niña.
I smile. That's just the beginning guys. But I'm afraid of the reaction that ya'll will throw since I knew him because of this two.
"You'll change inside
When you, realize
The world comes to life
And everything's alright
From beginning to end
When you have a friend
By your side
That helps you to find
The beauty of all
When you'll open your heart and
Believe in
The gift of a friend~"
Allison: I'm not.
Allison: I won't.
Allison: I think?
Oh shiz! How will I tell them that I'm planning on giving him a second chance?! Shiz!
Rohanie: I love you Nina so I will translate it to you.
I laugh at that. It's hard to have a phone without a load.
Niña: "yakk" Tell him. Hahahaha.
I react a haha react for that message. Gosh!
Rohanie: You are just a former marupok okay?
Rohanie: We trusted you. And we know that you can handle that clearly.
I pout. I'm happy that they know me for the monts that we are together. I bite my lip before telling them the whole story.
"The gift of a friend
Someone who knows when your lost and your scared
There through the highs and the lows
Someone you can count on, someone who cares
Besides you where ever you go~"
Allison: I ask him if he's drunk.
Rohanie: What did he said?
Niña: Huhu I failed as a human.
Niña: @Allison what? Yoi can't reply now huh? Did your eyes bulged while starring at Luigi's chat?!
I laugh at that. How can I reply if they keep on saying things before I can even type?
Rohanie: Bhie, enjoy the outing not to the chat of your ex okay?
Niña: You should bring back a food.
Rohanie: Stole a coke in your foods. And a soil of San rafael;)
I decided to send them the picture to end their craziness.
Niña: Ugh do I have to remind you guys that I don't have a load?
Opps. I forgot. But luckily Rohanie is not lazy as i am. She translate every words for Niña.
Allison: Maybe he is asking for a closure?
Allison: I think they broke up.
Rohanie: Are you ready?
Allison: Of course!
Allison: confidently with slightness of Karupukan.
I added a laughing emojie. I laugh when both of them angry react my chat.
"When you'll open your heart and
Believe in
The gift of a friend
And when the hope crashes down
Shattering to the ground
You, you'll feel all alone
When you don't know which way to go
And there's no such leading you on
You're not alone~"
Niña: Hmm, I don't want to hear you getting back together.
Nina: I don't want to know that.
Maybe my next relationship will be private. Because it will be my ex again. Hahahaha.
Rohanie: Hmm, I'm just chillin.
Rohanie: You will be the one who will decide for your answer.
Rohanie: We are just here to support you.
Niña: With your karupukan. It will be you who will also decide in that.
Rohanie: We have faith in you. Do your stuff with our advices
"The world comes to life
And everything's alright
From beginning to end
When you have a friend
By your side
That helps you to find
The beauty of all
When you'll open your heart and
Believe in
When you believe in
You can believe in, the gift from a friend
Ohhhhhh.~"
They are indeed a gift from god. A true friends that I have.
Allison: Don't worry too much.
Allison: I already moved on.
But i want him back. Because I'm lying to myself and to everyone.
Allison: I'm just gonna comfort him. That I know everything. He deserve to know the truth that I knew about the other girl.
Rohanie: Schocks what a classic revenge.
Rohanie: Here we go! Hahaha
Rohanie: Gg with the consequences boy.
I smile. My friends will always be by my side no matter what Decision I made! And I'm so grateful for that...
I remember when i first fell inlove. I remember how I chase him just to know him more. And it turns out not to well...
//FLASHBACK//
Do you have any plan on having a date or maybe a boyfriend?" I just laugh at my bestfriend. Look who's the one who talked. In our circle of friend. I'm the only one who doesn't have a boyfriend or a date. I smiled bitterly. "Come on! I don't need that. Beside, I have my man." I smile dreamily while thinking of Leoje. He's my long time crush. When did it start?
It started when I need someone to ask about my report. I approached him and ask him ramdom things. Then for all I know. Im already inlove.
Someone snapo a finger in my face. "Tch! Stop daydreaming! Nothing will work if you'll just stay behind your shadow and do nothing." Yeah. Regin is right. Nothing will work. What can I do? I hate rejection. I know he will reject my feelings because Im fat, ugly and a nerdy type of women.
"Then what should I do?" I smile crept into their face that makes me want to take back what I just ask.
Luisa put a notebook in the center of the table.
"Operation spy on him!" I cringed while reading her 'what to do list'.
The day has come. And the 'operation spy on him' is now officially starting. It's already past 6 pm and we're in shomai house eating peacefully while gossiping. "Are you guys ready? In any minute he'll be walking and of course we're going to spy on him." Wow! What a nice plan.
"Are we serious? I mean I want him to notice me but. It's been 2 years since I last saw him at our school. He's in college now. We don't know what if he already have a girl--" Regin won't be Regin if she won't cut me off. "Nah-ah! He doesn't have a girlfriend. Stop overthink. We are here to support you." He will never liked me. Or notice me. Someone pass by without us knowing. I looked at the man wearing a maroon shirt and-- "shit!" My instinct told me to cover my face. My friend look at me weirdly. "Is that him?" Luisa ask and I nod. Shems... I know they will do something stupidly.
A creepy smile crept in Regin face while Maja just smirk. "Operation spy on him 101 now begin!"
Seriously! We're spying on Leoje closely. I mean really close! He can see us. "Come on! Stop panicking or else he will know that we're following him. Just act normal." The first operation is to follow him on his way home. In my 4 years of liking him. I never done this before. I just silently daydreaming about him. I dont have the face or the body. Im plain paper doll. That's why I never make a move.
Finally the long long tense walking is now over. While walking. I can see him looking at us suspiciously. When we reached his home, we go straight to the next street so he won't notice us.
"Success! We know his house!" We gave each other high five. I feel like I'm about to cry. "Guys, what if he reject me?" I don't like the feeling of being rejected. Because I know he will. Who would accept me? I'm fat ugly and a nerdy type of women.
They all look at me with a bored looks. "Stop those what ifs Mich! We'll see."
I can't sleep. Literally can't sleep.
*Group Chat*
PepengKolott
Zupp? Can't sleep.
PepengMaliit
What happen?
PepengMalaki
Thinking bout him?
I don't know if I will tell them or not.
PepengKolott
Im gonna say 'hi!' To him.
Yup. I told them. I inhale sharply before pressing the 'wave' button in messenger. We're not friends in social media. But we have one mutual friend.
A few minutes later I saw the 'seen' word. I gasped dramatically and scream at the top of my lungs. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" I was blushing the whole time--but wait!
I look at my phone again and squeal! Is this for fucking real?! I took a screen shot then send it to our gc.
PepengKolott
Is this the sign?!!
PepengMaliit
Oh my gosh!
PepengMasarap
Keep it up. Don't let him be bored when He finally talk to you. (It's just a seen yah know!)
Savage! My smile drop because of Maja. She's my favorite but sometimes she's harsh on me. Well truth hurts. I shrug and continue chatting him.
Leoje
Hello
My heart literally just stop beating! I was so excited while typing a reply when he sent a message that makes me want to cry.
Leoje
Listen. I know that you and your gang keep on following me a while ago. Please stop it. I already have a girlfriend. She's much prettier than you and much slimmer. So... just stop.
As always. No one want me. No one will date me because of being me. They want the girl that I can never be... you know the saddest part? They will always reject me. Because I'm fat ugly ducking.
//END//
I remember discriminating my own self because of a man. But now. I think I finally know the answer to Luigi.