When I was young, like really really young. I used to see my mother having a talk fight with my grandma and with my auntie (in my father's side) and everytime it happen, Papa will bring me and my brother out of the house. Leaving my Mama alone with my granny and aunt.
"Cause she was a girl with good intentions
Yeah, she made some bad decisions
And she learned a couple lessons
Wish I could tell her~"
I think I'm just three or four years old that time because as far as I remember, I haven't attend any school that time.
And the time comes that my Papa cheat on Mama. I may not know the whole story, but I know that, the time Mama decide to end things with my Papa-- she's just done with bullshits. She's done with the pain that was caused my Papa's wrong decision.
"She didn't know all of that hurt she could take
Her world was crumbling and so was her faith
Wish I could talk to her, 'cause what I would say
"Oh baby, you're enough to get you out of this place"
Yes, I called it wrong decisions. Because the moment that he decided to cheat is the moment that I completely lost the bright smile that I always have as a kid.
And as I grew up, I always have it in my mind. That I will never let anyone break me like how my Papa break my Mama. I swear that I will mever fall inlove so easily. I promise myself that i will never gonna let any man make me cry...
But promises are meant to be broken. And destiny is trying to destroy my faith...
Their decision give a huge impact in me and my siblings. I have favouritism when it comes to my siblings. Yes, I'm not fair with them. I love my two brothers but I love my big bro more than my little bro.
And sadly, as I grew up, Mama decided to cut off my Papa and my brother completely. It was her decision. Not mine. And I can't say anything about it since she suffered working for me and my younger brother.
She spent her years far from her family to earn for the living. And I'm so grateful for that. That's why i never let her know that I'm suffering alone. Because of our broken family.
Whenever I'm around my family or with my friends, I will always show them my brightness smile. Making them less suspicious that something is wrong about me.
And I live that way. Till now that I'm already a high school student.
All the emotions that I should show them is hidden inside my pandora box. Where no one can open it.
"Why not try this boy?" Daniella ask while showing me a picture of a boy. We have the same logo so I think that we attend the same school.
I shake my head. "Nah, I'm good being single." I smile at them. I'm currently with my grade eight high school classmates.
I grew up having a lot of issue. Like having a trust issue. I talk to them but I considered them strangers. I'm having hard time believing the people who wants to enter my life. But I'm good at showing them the other side.
"Why? Do you want to be single forever?" Made ask. My face crinkled before shaking my head.
"I just don't want to be involved with anyone right now." Or maybe for the rest of my life.
Mads shrug. "Who knows? Maybe one day you will let a boy enter your life."
I laugh at her. Thinking about falling inlove makes me cringe.
"I hope I don't fall inlove with anyone..." I really hope that I will not eat the words that I said...
**************************************************
I remember saying thosw words when I was in eight grade. Then that's the time when I meet Leoje. The first man that I ever chased. And I call that a wrong decision. Because O should not chase him.
I don't want to repeat the history. I'm scared. But the again, I fell in love. Guess what happened? I was left out broken.
And here is the story of the third love that I have. The story of Luigi and me.
"She was a girl with good intentions (wish I could show you)
Didn't need the second guessing (wish I could show you)
Didn't need to ever question
Wish I could tell her~"
I frown. Is it for real? Am I seeing a boy in a white towel with curly hair who have an arrow and a bow?
I don't believe in love. Why? Simple as Love is a fucking curse to everyone. Cupid is fucking stupid for striking everyone to be inlove but the ending, they will broke up.
I'm having fun as I sip in my strawberry fruit  tea when I saw the clumsy Cupid striking the couple right in front of me. "Tsk! I won't let you strike me little cupid." I whisper while I watch him stike the couple. I gasped when I saw him readying for another strike. And the twist, he strike his arrow to a different man. I saw how the lady look at the man while having the companionship her boyfriend.
There it is. The red thingy that now attached to the pinky of the man and women. It's look like a tread. When I first saw him doing his job. I thought that I'll strip at the red thingy. But now I know what is the meaning of that. So weird seeing all this stuff.
"HeyAnshanti!" I smile when I saw my bestfriend. "Hey! Wazzup?" Just like the usual we always hang out. But today is different. I saw a sad face in my bestfriend's eyes. "I'm good. I Guest?" I look at her with concern. "What happened Bam Bam?" It is when a single tear start to fall in her eyes. "We-we broke up." Oh cupid what have you done to my bestfriend?!
I searched for cupid but the little sneaky deity is now gone and nowhere to be found. I look at Bam Bam. "You can tell me what happened?" She told me the whole story. That her boyfriend was cheating on her a long time ago. I knew it! Taht fucking bastard!
"Excuse me for a minute. I'm just gonna re-do my make up." We laughed when We realized that her face is ready for a Halloween because of her eyeshadow that already spread all over her face.
I waited for her to return. I handsome man came out of the same direction as where my bestfriend came. I saw a red string in his finger that connects with my bestfriend's finger--- HOLD UP? WHAT?! I was shock when I saw my bestfriend smiling brightly like nothing happen to her.
I saw cupid smiling while looking at my bestfriend and the man.
It's been One month since the last time a saw the cute little cupid. And to say the truth their is this man who keep on bugging me. Mentally and emotionally.
I'm at N and R when I saw The man who keeps on bothering me. And then for the first time in one month I saw cupid. He was preparing for another strike when I tap his shoulder. When He look at me. He was pale as ghosts.
"Listen up buddy. You can strike anyone you want but make sure--" I glare at him. "Make sure that you won't strike that Cupid's Arrow."
Not me Cupid. Not me.