CHAPTER 20
"Theo!" I rushed to his room right when I heard the news. He fainted, and was immediately sent to the hospital. 
I am here not as his nurse or something. I'm here because I realized my feelings, I realized what this feelings building inside me. I tried to forget it, thinking I might just be pitying him. That I need to forget this because he is my patient and I shouldn't be feeling this towards him. But I can't stop it. 
It's more than a disease, it's more than an illness. It's love, accompanied with care and passion. I want him to see his worth, I want him to be himself again. I don't have to hear his heavy sobbing last night again. 
I just want to hear his voice again, on the stage and in front of his fans. I want him to forget his trauma, and I want to be that person beside him as he heals. I want to know him more, more than as his nurse, more than as his friend. But as the person he will treasure and trust, trusted enough to open himself to me especially his fears and his secrets. 
And I want to tell him that today. Right now, while I still have the courage. The courage of my heart and my feelings, not until my mind eats me of what's right and what's wrong. 
"Mmm" I snapped out of my reverie right when I heard him. I ran towards his bedside and hold his hand. 
"Theo, I'm here" I murmured. 
His brows are creased, he was trying to say something as if he was dreaming about something. 
I put my ear near his mouth trying to listen to what he was saying. 
"Lu---na" I faintly hear it, I went nearer "Rose-anne"
That the same name he always say. Who is she? What happened to her? Why is he so hang up on her? 
I stood still when I see him opening his eyes, he wandered his sight in the room. Until it landed on me. 
And I was shocked. It was like something indifferent switched. That usual bubbly eyes settled on me, it's gone. 
"What are you doing here?" His voice doesn't even look familiar anymore. 
"Theo, it's me Rachel." I slightly smiled reassuring him that it's me who's always on his side. 
His eyes twitched as it avoids mine, "Where is my mom?" 
Right as he asked that, the room's door opened. Revealing Mrs. Martins worried face, eyes tired and worn clothes. She's been here since last night.
"Theo, son. How are you feeling?" She ran over to his side, checking him. 
"I want to rest" Theo said, and I stayed there listening.
"You can rest, take some more rest. It's fine" Mrs. Martin said, tidying his blanket and pillow for him. 
"Alone mom" And it stunned as both. Me and Mrs. Martin "I don't want some visitors" 
Mrs. Martin looked at me, gave me a small smile "But it's Rachel, honey" 
"I want to rest" Theo said, switching his side. His back facing me now. Mrs. Martin looked at me with sorry eyes. 
And right in that moment. I felt like I am stab by something sharp, sharply in my heart.
What just happened? Theo, what's happening?
I thought we were happy just days ago. Is it just me? Or I was just expecting so much?! 
And I left his room, dumbfounded.
***
"I'm sorry Ms. Adams" Mrs. Martin stated, voice filled with sadness "I thought it will help but I guess it worsen" 
I've been visiting Theo every now and then but he still won't face me. I stopped nursing him as Ms. Gomez told me so. 
How can he change so fast, in just that glimpse of seconds. He suddenly felt unfamiliar. 
I was busying checking papers as I am appointed on the papers today. Taking the graveyard shift but my mind is just somewhere else. 
A clipboard filled with papers appear in front of my table, surprising me. I looked up to see Ms. Gomez, she sighed looking at me. 
"I told you to nurse him Ms. Adam. This is just your training but you're already letting your emotions get your way." She pouted pointing on the clipboard she just handed. 
"You take the rounds" She looked away "You cqn also do the round for Theodore" 
That words made me wake up. I looked at her with my twinkling eyes. 
"You owe me this one" She said as she marched away from me. 
I can sense my smile reaching both my ears as I make my way to do this. 
I did all the other patients and lastly Theo. I'm currently outside his door, contemplating. 
I hope he's asleep, even just staring at him for a brief moment is enough. Just let me see he's doing okay. 
I slowly open his door, taking a breathe as I saw his back, prolly sleeping. When I reach his bed side, I grab the chair nearby and sat. 
He's sleeping soundly, and that makes my worries fade away. It took me minutes, only staring at his back. And when I felt like I need to go back, I stood up. 
I stared for a moment, sighing for how many times already. I was about to turn my back when I noticed his blanket, it didn't cover him properly. 
I reached for it and cover him but it was stock to his arm. He won't wake up right? Even though I move towards his front. 
I slowly went on the other side, now facing him. I stared at his face, he's undeniably handsome. I totally agree to that. 
Just when I was about to move his arm, I noticed something on his hand. A picture? 
Curious what is it. I slowly took it from his grip, because of how dimly the room is, it was hard to see it clearly. So I walked towards where his lampshade is, sat back to the sofa and check the picture. 
And at that moment, I was haunted. 
What the fuck is this?! Is this me?
My mouth went agape, staring at the exact replica of my face. But unlike mine, she has golden hair. She got that angelic and innocent vibe. 
She's standing in the middle of a green field, so pretty and lovely. But why does she looks like me? 
Can't believe what I'm seeing, I tried to flip back the picture. And what's written there, made me even more surprised. 
Roseanne, my luna, my aeonian love. 
Roseanne? She's roseanne?!