CHAPTER 21
"Theo, I made you breakfast" I said with a joyful tone as I watched him staring blankly at the window. 
I sighed as moment passed by and still he's not responding. 
"I'll just leave it here so you can eat it later" I continued but still no response, "Right I remembered, new LP arrived last weekend and I kept some vintage for you. I will bring it to you tomorrow so you can listen to it here." 
Still no response. With no other choice, I left him there. 
The picture I saw, it was still a shocked to me. Who she is and why she looks like me. Questions flooded my head like hurricane. 
And that right moment, Mrs. Martins popped out "Rach!" 
I gave her a small smile "Good morning Mrs. Martins"
"You're here. Did my son ..." Her voice whispered as we where just outside Theo's room "Did he still ignore you?" 
I nodded with sadness, and that's when I remembered. 
"Mrs. Martins, can I ask you something?" Puzzled, she just nodded and we sat by the garden of the hospital. 
That's when I started asking her about the Roseanne, the girl on the picture. She told me the tragic life of the girl and how she would never forget about it. How regretful she is for what she did that she claimed being part of that tragic moment. 
"I know she's a big part of Theo's success. I can say that. She was his strength and as well as his weakness. After what happened, I never see Theodore genuine happiness" A brim of tears on Mrs. Martins eyes shone. 
A silence cut out conversation. 
"But she looks like me" I told her that. 
She stared at me for a while, "I also wonder why you look exactly like her. Do you have a sister or does your mom or dad had another family."
And in that very moment, I remembered something. I remembered the memories I buried deeper than any cliff. I remembered how my family broke leaving me with my mom and my step dad. 
"Rachel!" Mrs. Martins called as I suddenly stood up and ran. 
I ran when something sync into me. 
Without any second thought, wearing my scrubs I hopped on the bus towards my mom's house. 
And when I arrived, I saw here at the kitchen with my step dad. 
"Rachel! You're here!" Mom exclaimed, both surprised and excited. 
"What's my sister's name mom?" I asked. 
The excitement on his face disappeared, same as my stepdad. 
"You don't have a sister Rachel, what do you mean?" My step dad answered. 
But I stared right through my mom. Her eyes showed horror, she knows she can't hide this forever to me. 
"What's my TWIN SISTER's name mom?!" I shouted. 
She hopped out of her feet startled. She opened her mouth to utter but instead she started crying. 
"Is it Roseanne?!" 
She collapse on her feet, brawling. My step dad stood there, shocked at my behavior. Because all my stay with them, I was never the rebel one. I always do what they say. But not today. 
I started crying, tears are nonstop as I said these words. "She's dead mom" My voice almost not coming out.
She looked at me, eyes filled with tons of emotion. Surprised. Horror. Regret. Mourn. 
"Do you know what happened?!" I asked her. 
She stayed looking at me, as she shook her head. 
"She killed herself!" My voice was hoarse, as the happenings I just knew earlier sync on me. 
"What about my youngest?" She asked. 
I smirked unbelievably at her. She has the audacity to ask what happened to her daughter's after she left them. 
"If you wanna know Mom. Look for it yourself."
I left the house, shoving the door. Crying. 
I wanna know what happened to my sisters. I wanna know why is this happening. I wanna blame myself for not looking for them. I wished I looked for them when they're still breathing.
I wished I wasn't too late to learn what happened to them. I wished I wasn't the one left here knowing their sufferings. 
How about my biological father. What did he do? Why did Roseanne killed herself?!! There's a lot of why's I want answers. Who will tell me?!
I started running again to nowhere, eyes full of tears I can't barely see the roads. I don't care if I'm crying or I look like a fool wearing my scrubs. 
And to my surprise, my feet lead me to him. To his door. He has all the answers to my why's. It's only him who can tell me fully what happened to her. What happened to my sister. 
I came inside his room, same as I left earlier. He was still there, staring blankly at the window. And when he noticed me coming, he looked at me. 
His eyes with no emotions bore at me, behind the tears of my eyes I can still read his eyes like an open book. 
I started brawling like a baby, walking towards him. Without any hesitation, I throw myself to him. Hugging him like there's no tomorrow. I started crying and crying and he just let me. It's like he knows what happened to me, like he understands me. 
And right at that moment, I felt a warmth holding me on my back. It was his warm hand, tapping me. But instead of making me calm, it made me cry more. 
"What happened to her?" I cried asking him in between my cries "Why did my twin sister kill herself?" 
His soft tap on my back stopped. But I continued crying, "Tell me Theo, what fully happened?"
"She's your sister?" For the first time since what happened he talked to me. 
I nodded and look at him to the eyes. Pain reflected on his eyes as memories rushed him. 
"How?" He asked. 
"My mom left them" I answered, "My dad was very abusive at that time, every day a bruise never leave my mom's body. Until that day, months after my mom gave birth to my youngest sister. I saw her packing her clothes while my father was away. Me and Roseanne was sleeping at that time but I woke up. I asked her why she's leaving but insted she started crying hugging me. She told me she can't bare it anymore. But I stopped her but instead, she took me with her. She left Roseanne and my younger sister sleeping. I was regretful but I can't do anything, I was still little."
I stopped when I can't continue cause my voice is cracking already. 
I looked at him with eyes full of questions, "Theo, what exactly happened?"
He avoided my eyes and stared back outside the window, he gulped and looked back at me "I can't answer your question"
I looked at him puzzled. He knows what exactly happened. 
"I can't bare telling you what I've been keeping. If you wanna know, find the answer yourself."