You just got out of a long, warm bath.It feels so relaxing. All your exhaustion from a long day is being evaporated into the thin air with the warm steam of the water. You are about to head to bed after changing your pyjamas when you hear the door bell. You are looking at the clock. It shows 10.35 p.m. It is too late for someone to visit you. You wonder who would come there at that late hour. You walk toward the door and take a peek through the door hole. You can't see anyone there.
"Who is there?" You ask through the door line. .
"I'm sorry for bothering you this late at night. Can I come in?" You hear the familiar deep voice of a man; it's him. Han Ju Min.
You open the door slowly and allow him to come inside. The CEO doesn't look really good. The CEO is anxious about something, which you don't know why. You let him sit down and prepared a warm drink for him.
"Did I bother you?"Ju Min asks carefully. You don't really mind him being here, after all... the two of you are supposed to be lovers, right? But you inform him that it is kind of late for a visit.
"I'm sorry... but I can't hold it any longer. I want to see you. "The man tells you that he feels so empty by staying at his apartment alone. Even though he has Elizabeth 3rd as his company, it feels different without you. He confesses that he wants to spend all of his time with you.
Having your boyfriend this late at night is kind of... uncomfortable. But when you're looking at his anxious face, you can't just send him off. There must be a reason why he decided to come here. Ju Min is a reasonable person. He will think it over before taking action. You feel that he is seeking you because he wants to talk with you about something or to release his stress.
Do you want to spend the night? are hesitating, but ask him anyway. Your cheeks are burning. Blurting out this question really makes you feel shy.
Ju Min can sense your nervousness; he notices your pinkish cheeks.It astonished him. Your shyness makes him blush. He clears his throat in the hope of calming his nerves.
"Yes, please."Ju Min accepts your offers. He almost seemed like a drunk man because his cheeks were burning red.
You ask him to go to bed because it's already night. The two of you need to go to work tomorrow. When you reach the bed, both of you are just standing awkwardly beside the bed. I am staring at the bed and remembering the last moment you shared with him previously.
The image of your burning kiss with him keeps playing in your mind. It makes you really nervous. What if allowing him to stay here for the night leads to the two of you continuing your relationship?You are not ready for that. You don't want to do inappropriate things with him, especially when the two of you are only currently dating. You don't want to rush anything.
"Let's just say... go to sleep.... " Ju Min talks nervously. The memory of the last kiss on your bed haunts him too. He takes the initiative to sit on the bed and wait for you to follow him. You and Ju Min are sitting awkwardly on the opposite side. Wandering around with your own thoughts
"...... Hyu Ri..."Ju Min is calling you with a husky voice. You answer him nervously.
You can rest assured that I will not harm you.No matter how much I want it, I cherish you... I'm not going to lead you into inappropriate things before we even marry....." Ju Min senses your nervousness and tries to ease your heart. His word doesn't instantly calm you. But it makes you feel better.
"Wedding."When you hear him mention these words, it somehow soothes your heart. Does he seriously want to take this relationship into marriage? You never think about it. But the way he puts it makes you feel safe. You can feel how much he cherishes you, and it makes you feel better.
After dealing with your nervousness, the two of you lay on the bed silently, staring at the ceiling. There is a comfortable silence between you.
Ju Min, do you want to talk about it with me? You look anxious tonight. " You try to innitiate a conversation. Ju Min sighs heavily. Is it really clear to you that he is being anxious? He smiles, feeling how funny it is that someone can read him easily and see into him.
"Do you ever feel a monster living inside you?" Ju Min talks while staring at the ceiling. You turn your body so you can face him, observing his face carefully. He appears lonely and insecure.
"What do you mean by that?" You ask him to explain more.
".......... I feel like I live as two different people. You're just staring at him without saying anything.You want him to continue his words.
"I am a successful person. I have great business skills. I can do and get everything I want without worrying about other people. I have everything that is envied by many. But on the inside, there is a monster that is always forcing me to feed them with anxiety, greed, and affirmation....." Ju Min switches his gaze and turns his body to face you. The two of you are facing each other now.
"The monster inside me wants to overtake you, Hyu Ri. It makes me want to make you mine only." He stared at you passionately, and you could only stare at him back.
"Like right now."Your beautiful eyes make me want you even more. I want to take control of you. I want to mark you as mine so no one will ever be able to take you from me. I want to control you and your mind so you will only look in my direction. I want you to only love me. "His eyes are demanding and pleading at once.
He is being super insecure right now. You can sense it. When he says that he wants you to only love him, you really know what he means. He doesn't want you to hang onto your feelings toward Ryu Min anymore. You didn't give him a direct answer because, you know, you still need your time to forget him completely. Can you even do that?
"Would it make you see me as a monster if I told you how devilish I am, wanting the entire you for myself?"He is staring at you with a wrenching gaze, and it pains you to look at him like that. You reach out to his face and caress his cheek with your hand.
"Ju Min, you're a person... Not a monster.... I think it is normal that you feel complicated with the opposite side of you. Humans will always have two sides to good and evil. We can't expect a person to be the only good one. We are not angels... But we also can't judge people solemnly from their evil sides because they are not monsters. Ju Min, you are just a normal human being. You smile sincerely.
Ju Min pulls you closer with a rushing move, hugging you tightly. He is snuggling his face against your neck, looking for comfort. He is like a lost little boy who is desperately seeking a way to get back home. You smile tenderly and hug him back, stroking his back gently. You comfort him and tell him that he is okay the way he is now.
Ju Min feels really comfortable and safe in your arm. He feels welcomed. But a burden still weighed on his heart. If you found out about Ryu Min's true feelings, would you still accept him? If you knew that he was trying to hide everything from you, would you still want to stay with him? You are not aware of the truth. You didn't know that he was hiding the truth from you. He deceives you. He tightens his hug and prays that you will never learn the truth that lies behind him. He doesn't want to lose you nor to let you go. He is clinging onto your hug like a little child seeking love.