The hollow darkness suffocated me, and I tried hard not to scream. I’m back to my pack as if nothing happened. 
And I tried hard to search for something but I didn’t know what it is. 
“It’s finished, you did so well.” I heard someone saying and I looked up to see Alpha Rufus.
I blinked, now aware this is a dream. 
My eyes fluttered open and I was faced with an asleep Almiro. 
“Almiro.” I tried to call out but my throat was dry and the sharp pain in my mind was too loud.
I flinched, and Almiro woke up, his eyes widened, and exclaimed, “Alpha Kamilah!” 
He offered me a glass of water which I downed in oke breath, too thirsty for now. When finished, I looked around, trying to look for someone.
I noticed tubes were on my hands and a machine was running beside me. I raised my eyebrows, I’m back at my own pack? In my pack’s clinic?
“What..happened? Why am I here?” I asked Almiro who avoided my eyes. 
“I’ll let your mate explain it to you.” He answered, and stood up to call Magnus who instantly appeared in a hurry.
Almiro left us to have our privacy. 
As soon as our gazes met, tears began to fall like a waterfall and he slowly approached me, pulling me into a hug and muttering, “Thank you, thank you for waking up.” 
I gave a confused look at him, not remembering anything that happened, “Why are you acting like I just died, Magnus? What happened to me? And where’s Louisa?” 
He gulped, “Louisa…was killed on the battlefield. You suddenly went on a rampage and killed every one of our enemies, and after that, you were covered in so much blood, even lost your own and blacked out.” He paused, letting me process it, and continued, “It’s been a month since you slept here, in a comatose. You almost died! Zefren couldn't even heal you! You broke some of your own veins and your healing powers couldn't even work.” He explained.
A lump formed in my throat, and I let myself break down. I was in a mess, screaming and crying for my beta. I never imagined losing her like this. If only I would have not let her fight, if only I could have protected her, but it’s too late. She’s gone. 
“I should have protected her,” I muttered. “I should..have.”
All the while, Magnus stayed by my side, trying to comfort me. He just sat still and patted my back, whispering comforting words to me. 
“It’s alright, it’d gonna be alright. I’m here for you.” 
The rest of the days made me a mess. I tried hard to keep myself alive, I even came to the point that I wanted to kill myself but every time I do that, Magnus would always come to me. 
“You know I’ll be the one who’ll wreak havoc and kill everyone if you’re dead, Kamilah?” He threatened one day after delivering me my lunch, wanting me to live. “Please live, babe, for me. For us, for our pup-“
Wait, wait wait. I hated him at that. “Our pup?” 
His eyes widened, looking as if he just slipped something he shouldn’t. He chuckled nervously, “Oh it’s nothing, we’ll discuss it later-“
I shook my head, grabbing his shirt and forcing him to look at me, “No, tell it to me now. You know something.” 
He tried to look me in the eyes but gulped, “I-uh-I-“ 
The door opened and a familiar vampire entered the room. “Wow, you didn’t tell me you’re pregnant, Kamilah!” 
Both of us looked at Gusev, the vampire who just walked in, and yelled at me excitedly. 
I thought he would leave and distance himself? After confessing to me last time? Why is he here now? 
Magnus glared at him and Gusev bit his lip, “Judging by that reaction, I think you still don’t know-“
Instantly, Magnus grabbed him by the collar and yelled, “You and your nosy mouth! I swear, I’ll have to cut that mouth off-“
He shrieked in fear, “Ackk! Magnus! I apologize I didn’t know-“
“Magnus!” I yelled as he was busy yelling threats to Gusev. His head turned to me, “What babe?”
“Is it true? Am I really…” I trailed off, not even able to complete the sentence as I look into my stomach, gulping nervously. 
His nervous expression turned into a happy one as he confirmed it to me. “Yes, yes, my love. You are pregnant right now.”
He instantly embraced me in a hug and I felt like tearing up again. “I’m going to be, a mother?” 
He nodded, patting my hair softly, “Yes, dear. You are. And I’ll be there to guide them too.”
The thought itself gives me mixed feelings. I never been a mother. And I never experienced having a mother. Knowing that I am expecting a pup right now both scares and excites me.
What if I’ll be a bad mother to them? What if I’ll end up killing them? Or harming them? What if-“
I felt Magnus kissing my cheek and caressing my stomach, “It's going to be alright. It’s both our first time as parents. But I’ll be here, we have each other.” 
I nodded, biting my lip. 
“Uhm…excuse me but I guess I’ll leave now.” Gusev scrunched his nose, disgusted at our little moment, “Ew, I’ll just come back here when you have the baby, I love babies-“
Magnus turned to him and smiled evilly, “No no no, Gusev. You can’t just leave like that after ruining my plan of telling the news to my mate.” 
Gusev wanted to run away but he couldn’t as Magnus dragged him outside and gave him his own punishment.
I chuckled, feeling a bit lighter now after coming back to this. It felt like things are going back to normal, with only Magnus now finally in my life, along with our adorable upcoming baby in my stomach.  
I smiled, feeling so blessed. So that’s why all those pregnant mothers are so happy about this. I finally understand the feeling.
Although the news of Louisa, my beloved beta is dead, I wanted to think that she’s reincarnated as my child and this is her way of coming into my life, reminding me to live on. 
The door opened the I saw Dimitri, who looked like the hell had just fallen on him. His eye bags were worse now and his beard was all over.
He smiled at me, “Congrats. You’re going to be an amazing mother.”
I nodded, “Thanks.”
I gulped, wanting to bring up Louisa but he seemed too depressed to even mutter anything after that.
“About Louisa-“
He stopped me, “I know you’re pitying me right now, but I’m just busy with work. I am sad about his death, that’s all.”
I nodded, letting his excuse pass. He might still be in denial, knowing his mate just died. He then left the room. 
I feel sorry for him, and how their relationship could have progressed further by now. They didn’t even get the chance to love each other for a long time…
Goodness, the guilt eats me up but what can I do? It’s not like I can reverse time…