𝗔𝘁 𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆, 𝗜 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲.
I will not end up hurt if I avoid falling in love with anyone, right? I seriously cannot bring myself to "believe" in love. I do not want to be lied to. I hate it when we fall apart. I don't want to experience that kind of "love". I thought that I didn't need anyone until he came along...
Yosef Mundo.
He makes me want to know what love is, he was my senior and meeting him was the greatest gift of my life. I did not really like him at first, but seeing him smile makes my heart flutter. He smiles a lot. The people around him are always smiling when he is around. I wonder how he can do that every single day. Our first encounter was when he helped me and carried me on his back when I sprained my ankle. We were in the same club. The gardening clubs, I do not know how I ended up hurting myself, but he was there. He noticed me and helped me.
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗜'𝗺 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲."
I remembered what he said to me that day. He was not smiling. Somehow, he was different. I don't want to fall for someone just because he helped me, but I can't help myself when he's staring at me like that. He makes my heart warm. He makes me nervous. We do not get to spend much time together since we only meet when there is a club meeting. But once in a while, we bumped into each other in the hallway, he always asked me if my ankle had healed or not. It had been two weeks since that incident, yet he still remembered.
We became closer after that.
I have never felt like this before. He makes me excited. His smile makes me happy. For once, I was ecstatic.
"𝗜 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂."
I never really thought that he would confess to me since we barely talked. We just exchange smiles in the hallway, and that is that. But somehow, he noticed me. It had been a while since someone confessed to me. It was embarrassing yet exciting. I am still confused about my feelings for him.
Do I really like him? or am I just lonely? I don't know, but one thing is for sure: he makes me happy.
We started to date after that. He was a good person. He was so good that it makes me want to cry, and I can't imagine if we ever broke up. I am terrified of the thought of it. I have thought about marriage for the first time in my life.
Dating in order to marry.
Yosef helps me learn so much. He was so sweet. He cared for me. He was the perfect boyfriend. I was happy. Being with him makes me realise what love is. It was beautiful, he was my everything and my sweetheart.
"𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂."
I was happy. I never thought that I would feel this kind of love, being loved. We often talked about our future together; he was really sweet. We did argue about trivial things. But we always apologise to each other afterward. For some reason, I can't stay angry at him. I started to become possessive of him. I wanted him only for myself.
His smiles, his laughs. I wanted it all to be mine only.
I thought that he would be creeped out by me, but he was not. He accepts me for who I am. He loved me for everything I was. He accepts my flaws. I never thought that I would feel like this. I loved him so much. He was the first boy who made me feel this way. And I cared so much about him.
We were happy. We were perfect.
Until that day.
That was the first time I saw him get angry. His smiles were gone. He looks disappointed. It was our first ever fight that almost caused us to break up. It was scary. He was the best thing that happened to my life, and I do not want to lose him. Yosef was the person who stayed with me by my side through my difficulties. He was also there with me in my darkest hour. I do not want to lose him. I could face the world with him next to me, he was my strength. I cannot imagine losing him. I do not want to even think about it.
"𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲?"
Yosef was well-mannered. He was raised well by his parents. The thought of us "sleeping together" never once crossed his mind. I mean... we are adults now. And I am VERY curious about it, but he wanted our first time to be "special" and when we were already married. It shocked me how he said it so casually. Marriage? Us? That is a big step towards the future. But if I am with him, I believe that we will have a smooth sailing path.
I believe in him.
Although, he did say that, he loved kisses so much. He loves touching so much, yet he still does not want to do that. Sometimes he makes me confused. I still remember the first time I slept over at his apartment. He was really nervous. That was also the first time we did "something" more than hold hands...
We kissed, a lot, like everywhere.
It was embarrassing, but still exciting.