He loved kisses.
A LOT.
I thought that I would be scared at the thought of us touching each other like this so casually, but it was somehow comforting. Being next to him, sharing stories and laughter. I loved it so much. I used to be afraid of skin-ship, but Yosef convinces me that everything will be fine. With him, everything will be simply fine. I did not even realise how days turned into years; we had been together for two years now. This is my longest relationship. I am grateful. Since he was my senior, he graduated first. When he gets a job, he becomes busy, and we rarely meet each other. I miss him so much. I wanted to tell him that. But I do not want him to worry.
"𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝘂𝗽 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘆 𝘂𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁."
Living together? It never crossed my mind that he was really thinking about us. I was overwhelmed by him. The love that he gave me makes me believe in happily ever after. He makes me the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. He makes me forget about everything else. When I started my internship, we started living together. Every day, waking up next to him, seeing him smile. It was everything that I ever wished for.
He was my life.
On our second anniversary, he bought us a couple's ring. It felt like we were newlyweds, and I was the happiest girl in the world. He was my entire world. I love him so much, more than anything or anyone else in this world.
"𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵. 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱."
We were happy.
But...
Being an adult is hard, we were both busy, although we lived together. We rarely have time to eat with each other. When it was his day off, he would always sleep all day, sometimes waking up in the afternoon to eat and then going back to sleep. I was angry.
It was tiring.
I hated the fact that I needed to do everything when he would just sleep, eat, go to work, come home and sleep again. I feel like shit. He treated me like I was a maid or something. Is it going to be the same when we get married? That thought suddenly crossed my mind as my mind went blank. Are we going to live our lives like this? We barely talk anymore. I feel like I have not seen him in a long time, although we lived in the same house.
What broke me the most was when he came home drunk. 
It hurts so much to see his coworker, a girl. Sending him home like, excuse your girl?! He has a girlfriend. Yosef was SO oblivious to the fact that his coworker liked him. I was threatened. She IS pretty. And she has his arms around her like they are the ones in a relationship. I was anxious. I am jealous.
"𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴! 𝗜𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗦𝗢 𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴. 𝗜𝗳 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, 𝗜 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸."
"𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝘂𝘁 𝘂𝗽! 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱. 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲."
"𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸."
"𝗜'𝗺 𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱."
It hurts.
SO MUCH
Why are you treating me like this?
Why are you different now?
We used to be happy.
What is happening to us?
"𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲... 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲."
I was never supposed to say those words. It just came out of my mouth. Yosef too was stunned when he heard that. His promises, his vow. He had forgotten all about it as he left me all alone, wondering, crying. 
What had been wrong?
What happened to your promises? Our future?
It is scary. I do not want him to leave me. I don't think I would be able to live if he was not with me. I hate it so much that I cannot do anything. Where are you now?
"𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸."
I was beginning to worry. I should not have said anything back then. I should not make him mad. He was tired from work, and I was jealous to see him going home with some girl, so I lashed out on him. It was my fault. Not him, he did nothing wrong. It was all me. I kept telling myself that over and over, just to make him feel "okay." But he does not want to talk to me. I tried to apologise to him the next day. But he will not listen; he does not even look at me. I was confused.
Why are you being so distant now?
We used to talk about everything with each other. We used to be happy. We used to be each other's worlds. What will happen to us now?
It is scary.
I do not want to lose him.
I am terrified. I thought that it was the worst, but my entire world came crashing down when I saw the girl in our home.
With him, naked.
It is suffocating.
It is painful.
It is disgusting.
I hate this.
Why?
He was the sweetest boy I ever met. We lived together for two years, and he was always the one reminding me about us getting married and our first night together. Our future. Yet, he slept with another girl. Screaming and crying. I must've looked like a crazy girl. He made me like this. He makes me crazy. Yosef does not look like he feels guilty or anything. In fact, he just sat there, staring at me with blank eyes. My heart broke to see him like that.
Please tell me that it was just a misunderstanding, tell me that you did not mean it.
I would be okay if you said it.
We could still be happy.
Please.
I beg you.