He was staring at me in disbelief when I told him I was not in a relationship. He looks so funny that I cannot help but laugh at him. Why does he have to be so cute?
"𝗗𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱?"
When had he asked me that? I honestly do not know how to answer him. I don't know.
I did, before.
But I don't know now. I never really thought about it. In fact, I do not and will not think about it at all. He kept on saying that he would find me a date, but then he stopped. He was staring at me with a confused look. I wondered what was on his mind. I am happy with my life now. I was happy with just being friends.
Until that day.
I went on a blind date; my parents were the ones who planned it. I forced myself to go, even if I hated the idea of meeting new people... I do not want to disappoint them. At least I will eat with the person once, and we will never see each other again. I could do that. It was really boring. My date was extremely boring. He only talks about himself and will not stop telling me about his hobbies. I mean, it is good to be excited. But he will not even let me speak. Like, are we even trying to get to know each other here?
I want this to be over already.
I was glad that we parted ways. He wanted to exchange numbers, but I rejected him, of course. I never intended for this to go this far. It is better to end it today. I was really tired that day. And what surprised me the most was when I saw Finn in front of my apartment. He looks angry. I asked him why he was here since today is his day off and we did not have anything planned, so it was weird seeing him.
"𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲?"
I was dumfounded. Well, we are friends, but do I really need to tell him when I am going on a blind date? It is making me feel uncomfortable. I hated this. Please do not act like this. I have a lot on my mind. I cannot stand the idea of us being more than friends. I do not want him to act like this.
"𝗪𝗵𝘆?"
It was weird. He was silent. He looked like he wanted to cry. He is not acting like himself. He makes me worried about him. I told him to go inside my apartment as we decided to talk about "why" he needed to know about my date. For a moment, it looked like he was hesitating. I was indeed worried. He holds my hands as he sighs. What is happening now?
"𝗜'𝗺 𝗴𝗮𝘆."
He said, and I was confused. Well, it is a surprise to know that he likes boys. But what got me confused is that he being gay has nothing to do with my date. I seriously cannot understand him. He told me that he was jealous. He does not want to lose me "as a friend." He does not want me to be "taken away." I was surprised when he told me that. He told me about his sexuality. He had always liked boys since middle school. His family never knew about it. I was the only one who knew about this. I wondered why he felt like it was right to tell me this...
He is not ready to come out yet to his family.
"𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲."
When he said that, I was confused. Why did he think that I would leave him? I mean, it is only one date... And there is no guarantee that I will marry that guy. So, it was weird. We were friends, staying by his side and being his friend is enough for me. It was more than enough. Ever since he told me about his sexuality, he had been attached to me like a leech. As we went out drinking, he was openly checking out the guys. He even has the audacity to tell me that we should date the same guy so that we will never be apart.
Okay, that is weird. But it was funny.
I cannot imagine us being in a three-person relationship. It would be SO much drama. I do not think I would be able to tolerate it.
"𝗟𝗲𝘁'𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱."
When Finn suggested that I was perplexed. Why? He told me that he wants his family to believe that he is normal. That he will have his own family as well. A wife and kids. I was surprised when he told me that, crying. He must have been through so much. But getting married? I don't know about it.
"𝗜𝗳 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁."
He assured, he is the only one in my life now who is a guy. And I did think of us getting married somehow, but after knowing that he is into guys... I don't know. At least we will not break up since we never really thought of each other that way. We cared for one another, so it should be okay... right? I did consider it. He makes me happy.
Marriage: Is it the right thing to do?
Being with him, staying by his side, living together, having kids. It was like a dream come true, we will be happy, even if it is not real, we will be happy.
right?