He froze, his eyes bulging out of their sockets.
“Wha… What?” he stuttered, hoping he had heard wrong but at the same time, his heart beat increased in anticipation.
“Kiss me, King.”
“Joan…” he cleared his throat, licking his lips, and adjusting his hold on her, “You can’t mean… you can’t be serious.”
More tears slipped down her face.
“Kiss me King, please.” She begged.
***************
“We’ll pretend like this didn’t happen. I didn’t ask you for a kiss.” She spoke, getting up from his lap.
He stood up also, perplexed, wanting, in need.
"What? But you..."
She faced him with still teary eyes.
"I know. That was a weak moment, I was troubled and I needed some sort of reprieve. It was the first thing that came to my head, I'm sorry if I made you think any differently about our relationship."
He stared at her. He wanted to feel angry, he wanted to shake her until she took back her words, he wanted to kiss her until she professed her love for him but all he could do was watch dumbly as she bursted into tears again and hold her when she came running into his arms.
He let his own tears fall freely when they came.
******
"So watsup?"
He shrugged, watching her as she poured cereals into two bowls that were placed on her study. Nobody had been up to cooking sunday dinner so they resorted to snacks and cereals, they had gobbled a whole tub of ice cream and lots of Oreos already.
She glanced at him and he took his eyes to the red ankara jump suit she wore, specifically the hand that was falling off the black inner.
"You're not still thinking about it, are you?" she asked.
He wanted to deny it but as always when with her, he found himself saying the truth.
"Yes."
"It's no big deal." she poured milk from the milk gallon into the bowls.
"A kiss is a big deal."
She chuckled.
"You're acting like I told you I was in love with you. What I said or did didn't mean anything. I was troubled and I said the first thing that came to my head."
"You never told me what was troubling you."
"My mum."
"Your mum?"
She nodded, stirring the contents of the bowls then she carried both bowls to him on the bed. He collected them and waited until she was sitting comfortably with him, their backs against the headboard, before handing her a bowl.
"Thank you." she smiled up at him then placed her bowl on her lap. He did the same.
"How does your mum and a kiss relate?" he questioned. She laughed, the contents of her bowl almost spilling unto her lap.
"How do I know you're not faking being normal?" he grumbled, getting irritated at her nonchalant attitude.
She quietened down, sensing his irritation.
"I'm not." she said, "She told me some stuffs and it made me really angry and sad and I cried. Hours later, you came in sounding so happy and then you carried me and cared for me. When I looked up at you, the first thing I noticed was your lips and I began to wish I had a boyfriend, I decided to improvise, I asked you to kiss me."
"Why?"
They had both not touched their food.
"I told you." she replied, not looking at him.
"I'm your bestfriend. You're not supposed to look at my lips and wish you had a boyfriend."
Her head came up and she gazed at him.
“But I did.”
He swallowed, glancing away then back to her. She didn’t understand, she didn’t know, she didn’t understand how desperate he was.
“Joan…”
“King” she cut in, hooking her fingers around his jaw so that he couldn’t look away from her, “It’s nothing, stop worrying. We'll get over it and we’ll move on. You’re still my bestfriend nothing’s changed. Bestfriends forever, okay?”
He waited, waited for her to take back her words… she didn’t. He nodded and she released him, focusing on her meal. He looked down at his, floating yellow objects in white sea of milk, his appetite fled.
He wasn’t heartbroken, part of him was glad she said what she said, he knew they would never work out, at least not yet but the part of him that was hopelessly attracted to her, that wished things were different, that part of him was heartbroken.
Maybe she would get over it, maybe she would move on, maybe it wasn’t anything to her, maybe she would never consider him anything more than a bestfriend, maybe the strange emotion he had seen in her eyes had been fake, maybe the desperation he had heard in her voice was unreal, maybe all she said was true, maybe it was all a cover-up but one thing he knew for sure was that he would never forget, ever.