I was startled when someone suddenly hugged me from my back while I was bending over and trying to reach for the book that was on top.
I got ready and alertly turned around. Even though we were in a hidden part of the library, we still weren't sure that no one would see us and if we did, what would anyone who saw us think?
"Mar, what are you doing?" I said softly as I tried to remove his hand.
"Hmm! Let me hug you like this, Jan," he softly returned.
"But Mar, maybe someone will see us," I said nervously.
"Then? What do they care about?”
"Mar, what? Aren't you afraid that the students will talk badly because of me? We need to keep our relationship just for us, for the peace of our relationship."
Mar suddenly seemed to lose the tightness of his hug and sighed. I faced him and saw the sadness in his eyes.
"Is it always like this, Jan? We always think about what other people say, we can't caress someone who sees us, and I can't hug or kiss you casually. It's hard, Jan," he complained, then sighed. He slightly tilted his face.
I sighed. "Mar, I know it's difficult because I am struggling with the situation between the two of us, but right now it's better to act like we're not into a relationship so there's no trouble. Let's be quiet," I explained.
"Are you afraid that everyone will know that we are in a relationship?" he asked directly.
I took a breath. "Is this what we're going to argue about, Mar?"
Mar closed his eyes for a moment. "Because I love you, Jan, and I always want to make you feel that I don't have to think about other people," he was annoyed again.
I rubbed my forehead. When my hand flew towards his cheek. I gently caressed it and smiled at him. "You haven't made me feel it yet, I can already feel how much you love me, Mar. I'm so sorry.” I bow down. “Maybe I'm not ready to let everyone know what we have, because I'm afraid they might judge us, especially you, Mar. I am also afraid that they will interfere with our relationship and destroy us," I said bitterly. "Please, understand me, Mar."
Mar let out a deep breath. He was not immediately speechless. He held my palm that was on his cheek. "I'm sorry, Jan, I was immature," he apologized.
I closed my eyes and shook my head. "I do understand you, Mar. I know how you feel and you're tired of hiding all the time."
He shook his head. "No, Jan, I don't get tired." He caressed the back of my palm. "I won't be tired," he added.
Tears came to my eyes which he immediately wiped away. I smiled happily and quickly hugged him tightly.
I'm very lucky with this man, apart from loving me, he's also my friend.
I will add to what I said before; right, it's hard to love a friend especially when you know that he will never treat you as more than a friend, but it's nice to love a friend if you're not just his friend.
–
Our class for that afternoon had just finished so all the Senior High School students were excited to go to the court to practice. It's only a few days until the Ball that many have been waiting for will be held.
After I changed into my PE uniform, I left the locker room to go straight to the basketball court. Mar was already ahead of me while Malia was supposed to be next because she was not involved.
I frowned and stopped when my eyes caught the familiar figure in the right hallway. I stopped and checked the two talking and that's how I was surprised to see Ken talking seriously to Jame.
Huh? Are they close?
My brain can't figure out why they are talking. Not even once did Ken mention that he and Jame were close. Or maybe...right! Maybe Jame is the girl Ken is talking about who stole his attention.
I smiled and was suddenly shocked by what I realized. I watched them for a while before I slowly walked away. I couldn't help but smile until I got to the court. Maybe because Ken dared to admit his feelings. But on the other hand, he questions why it's still Jame's.
When I entered the court entrance, I immediately saw Mar. He immediately smiled and greeted me. “Here.” He extended his hand holding mineral water. "You'll get weary," he said.
"Thanks," I returned and accepted it. "How about you?"
"I bought two bottles, one for you and one for me," he explained with a smile.
"Did you bring your towel?" I asked as we walked towards the empty bench.
A slight look of shock appeared on his face as a sign that he didn't bring the towel.
He took a breath. "You're not a kid anymore, Jan to always be reminded to bring a towel," I preached.
He laughed. "You even beat Mommy to preach," he teased me.
"I don't know about you, Mar. You always make jokes, so you forget what you shouldn't forget," I continued.
We sat on the bench. There were only a few people there and the other students were still playing basketball.
"It's okay for me to forget about other things, Jan..." He brought his head closer to my ear. "But I won't forget you."
When I turned to him, he was sitting in front looking at the students playing. I bowed down and looked away so that he wouldn't see my smile and the reddening of my cheeks because of the thrill given by the word he said.
A few minutes passed and almost everyone was there except for Ken who I had been waiting for. Where is he? I turned around and saw that Jame was there.
Where is Ken? Does he not intend to practice? Didn't even text or call me. I've noticed in recent days, something has suddenly changed in Ken. Something changed in him that suddenly surprised me. Since a while ago, I haven't talked to him yet as there seems to be a distance between the two of us.
My shoulders sagged as I announced that practice was about to start. I'm sad that I still haven't seen Ken.
–
"Guys, let's have fun tonight, what do you think?"
Mar and I looked at each other because of what Malia said. We just finished our practice and Malia waited for us to take me home.
Malia stood in our way. "We aren't in elementary school, we're already in high school, so guys come with me tonight my treat," he said.
"I'm ok," Mar agreed.
"What's ok?" I turned to him. "It's not possible, Mar we have a class tomorrow, you'll stay up," I protested.
"Jan, just now, not often," he complained.
"Even so, what if you're drunk?" I will continue.
"I can't get drunk, Jan I can control myself," he replied.
"Ahem!"
Both Mar and I turned to see Malia who was sipping. He laughs and pretends to whistle. “Lovebirds, huh?” he said he was still weak. "You forgot I was here."
I was suddenly embarrassed. I bowed and couldn't look at the doubting Malia. It's a smile that I know means something.
"Ok fine, let's hang out tonight," I just agreed to end the embarrassing incident and the strange surroundings because of Malia.
“Good. So tonight huh? I'll text you guys where we are," Malia said happily.
I turned to Mar and threatened him with a look. He just smiled and shrugged.