Mar's POV
I was restless during the car ride to the hospital. If I could fly the car, I would have done it just to get to the hospital quickly.
"Wait for me, Jan. I'll be there," I whispered as I was very nervous.
When I found out what happened to Jan, I quickly followed to go to the said hospital where Jan was confined. It's said that it was an accident so I can't rest until I get there.
I bit my lower lip when the stop light suddenly turned red meaning to stop. “Damn!” I was annoyed at the same time as I beat the steering wheel.
I rested my elbow on the window and bit the back of my finger to somehow reduce my fear, nervousness, and panic.
"Quick," I whispered over and over again.
My face lit up a little when the stoplight turned green. I quickly started the car and I don't care if I broke any rules on the road as I know, I need to get to the hospital immediately.
I'm restless while on the highway. My feelings for Jan are filled with worry and fear. I'm afraid. What if it's too late? No! That won't happen.
No matter how my panic subsided when I saw the hospital where Jan was taken. I parked my car and quickly got out of there. I ran into the hospital and headed to the reception area to ask.
"Thank you," I said when the receptionist told me where Jan's room was. It is on the second floor of the hospital.
I gasped and closed my eyes tightly when the elevator didn't open. I pressed it again and again and when it finally opened, I quickly went in and pressed it again.
The closer I got to Jan's room, the more nervous I felt because I didn't know what I was going to find. I'm afraid
I got out of the elevator when it opened. I ran the distance to Jan's room. My chest was beating so hard when I got to the door. I turned the doorknob and quickly entered the room. That's the only memory I felt when I saw Jan lying in the hospital bed unconscious. I felt like I lost my strength and the blood ran out of my whole body.
I turned around and saw Jan's Mom, Ken, and Malia. "H-how is he, Aunt?" I asked Jan's mother full of concern.
Aunt Maddie bowed slightly and looked at me sadly. Based on their appearance, it wasn't just an accident and if it was that simple, Jan would be awake by now.
"He got into an accident when he went to your house."
I turned to Malia with a worried look on his face. I recoiled in shock. He went home and had an accident?
I turned to the unconscious Jan. I approached him and held his hand. "Jan," I mentioned his name.
"The doctor said he's already stable and just waited for him to wake up. We are still waiting for the results of the CT-Scan to confirm if there is any damage to his head," explained Ken.
I didn't notice the tears in my eyes. I brought Jan's hand to my face and kissed it gently. "I'm sorry, Jan, I didn't know," I apologized because if I had been there, maybe that wouldn't have happened to him.
"He wanted to fix the relationship between the two of you so he went to your house but he had an accident on his way home because you weren't at your house," said Aunt Maddie.
I put my head on Jan's hand while crying. "I'm sorry, Jan. If…if I had been there, maybe…maybe this wouldn't have happened to you,” I said sobbing.
"It's not your fault, Mar. No one is to blame for what happened," said Aunt Maddie.
I didn't say a word as I held Jan's hand tightly. I wish I came home that night so I could be there and he didn't have an accident. He wouldn't have been in the hospital and everything would have been okay with us.
"Auntie is right, Mar no one should be blamed for what happened, it was an accident," Malia seconded. "For sure, he'll be okay. He will wake up to fix your relationship," he added.
Despite what I heard, I still can't help but blame myself for what happened. If only I had been there, it probably wouldn't have happened.
I was still holding Jan's hand while watching his emotionless face. I was the one who showed up to watch him while Auntie, Malia, and Ken went home and they might come back tomorrow because it's already midnight.
"I miss you, Jan. You don't know how crazy I am without you. I realized more and more how important you are to me. I was afraid that you might leave me forever because of what happened that night. I was so scared and I promised myself I won't stop until I get you back." I smiled bitterly. "But every time I get closer to you, the more you get away from me and it's damn hurt, Jan. My heart breaks every time you walk away from me.”
I gently caressed Jan's hand and kissed it. "Please, wake up and get back to what we were before," I begged because I would continue to blame myself if he didn't wake up.
I stood up from sitting to fix the blanket on Jan's body. I looked at his face and smiled. Even when he is sleeping, he still manages to make me smile.
"I'll wait, Jan." I brought my lips to his forehead and gave him a sweet kiss. I returned to the chair and held his hand again. I want to feel the warmth of his hands and his presence.
–
I moaned as if someone stroked my head. I moved a little and ignored it. What time did I fall asleep last night so if possible I would like to sleep longer.
I fixed my head on the bed and tightened my grip on Jan's hand. I was stunned and frowned when that hand seemed to reciprocate. I felt his grip on my hand.
I opened my eyes and nervously raised my head to look at Jan. Suddenly my hopes were dashed when I saw Jan still sound asleep. I gasped for air and leaned back weakly in the chair.
I let go of Jan's hand and stood up to go to the comfort room of the room but I stopped when I heard what seemed to be a growl. I quickly turned to look at Jan, but I was disappointed that nothing had changed in him, he was still asleep.
I cupped my forehead and gasped in annoyance and frustration. What I think and hear is because of my excitement and worry.
Full of disappointment, I sat on the bench and then bowed while resting my head on my palms. If Jan doesn't wake up yet, I might go crazy thinking and waiting for him to come back.
"Uhm."
I stopped when I heard a growl again. My heart beat faster. Hope was revived in me that when I lifted my head, I would see Jan awake and smiling at me.
I slowly raised my head while my heart beat faster and faster because of the nervousness and excitement of what I would see when I looked up.
"Uhm."
My eyes widened when my eyes saw Jan's slight movement. My heart leaped with great joy and my hope that he would wake up, forever.
I couldn't believe it so I closed my eyes for a few seconds and when I woke up, my heart jumped and I was overwhelmed with pity when I saw Jan's open eyes. He is awake.
"J-Jan, you woke up," I said in disbelief and full of pity. "You're awake," I added after quickly hugging him. It seems that the lack filled in me when I felt his presence again.
I broke away from hugging him while smiling widely. I can't hide the happiness and pity I feel. "I'll call the doctor," I said.
"Who are you?"
I was stunned by what I heard from Jan. It was like a broken voice in my ears. It hurts. It's deafening.
The happiness on my face suddenly disappeared because of what he said. It was like the whole ceiling fell on me. Why doesn't he know me?
"Huh?" I can't believe my reaction.
"Who are you? Where's mom?"
I became weak and clung to the bed. He doesn't know me? Is this the effect of the accident that happened to him?
“J-Jan. I'm Mar," I introduced myself, full of surprise and bitterness.
“M-Mar?”
I nodded, hoping he would remember. I tried to smile and felt his hand. "I'm Mar, you're boyfriend," I said.
"Boyfriend? You?" he asked in disbelief.
I nodded. "A lot happened to us but we never broke up," I explained.
"What happened? Did we do something?”
"No, what I mean is the problems that happened between us," I returned seriously.
"Do you love me?" he asked directly.
I quickly nodded again and again. "Yes, I do love you, Jan. So much," I said without hesitation.
I was stunned by what happened next. I was still slightly back when he hugged me tightly. My mind was filled with wonder and confusion.
"J-Jan?"
"I miss you so much, Mar. I'm sorry for everything I've done for you. I hurt you so much because of my fear and cowardice to face people holding your hand. I'm sorry!”
I was speechless. My hands remained raised and my body still couldn't move because of the shock.
I blinked and slowly moved my hand to respond to his hug. "J-Jan, d-don't you have amnesia?" I asked in surprise.
I heard his soft laugh. “Nothing. And if there's anything, I won't forget you," he returned seriously and hugged me even tighter.
I laughed because I was relieved. I thought he had amnesia and forgot about me. If it happens, I can't forgive myself.
He broke away from my embrace and faced me, smiling. "I'm sorry I pretended to have amnesia. I just want to see your reaction and you probably still love me." I snorted. "I thought it was because you didn't love me anymore and you were fed up with me so you didn't want to talk to me that night," he said sadly.
I closed my eyes for a moment. I wet my lips and then smiled. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to not talk to you that night, I just wasn't at home." I cupped his cheek in my palm. "I will never get tired of loving and understanding you. I love you, Jan.”
He smiled and so did I. All the sadness and fear in my heart disappeared and it was replaced by eternal joy and happiness. The pain and apprehension I had are gone.
I gently kissed her forehead. I lowered my head until our foreheads were touching.
"I'm sorry, Mar. I love you.”
“Shhh! That's over, Jan, the important thing is that you're here again and the fear in your heart is gone. I love you and I won't let you be afraid again," he assured.
"I will never be afraid again, Mar because I have proven how much you love me. Thank you for loving me that much.”
He closed his eyes and moved his lips toward mine. Both of our lips were sealed. The sweet movement of our lips is full of love. Longed for each other.
We both had a sweet smile on our lips when we parted from each other. Our foreheads are still weak and our faces are almost touching.
"Hey."
We quickly separated our heads and turned to the door at the same time.
"What does this mean?" Malia asked in shock. Next to it, Ken and Aunt Maddie were there.
The three quickly approached Jan. "You're awake, son. Are you ok? Nothing hurts you?” Aunt Maddie asked her son full of concern.
Jan smiled. "I'm fine, Mom, don't worry."
"It looks like he's fine, Aunt. You saw earlier how their faces were touching, didn't you? He's already okay, he can be discharged by now," Malia jokes.
Jan turned to Malia and glared at him. "He just checked my head," he lied.
Malia laughed. “Wow! Mar is very good at checking. Can you check my lip, it looks like it has a wound, because I bit it." He came closer to me and put its head closer.
I smiled and stepped back.
"Let me check," Ken replied and pulled Malia closer.
We were stunned when their faces were almost touching as if we weren't there. Ken gently stroked the side of Malia's lips. Jan and I looked at each other in wonder.
"W-what are you doing," Malia reprimanded as he slightly pushed Ken.
"I'm just checking your lips," Ken said simply.
"Hey!"
Startled, Malia turned to me. Bewildered.
"Hmmm! I just fell asleep and something happened to both of you immediately," Jan joked.
“Something? There's nothing between us," Malia immediately defended.
"Are you okay, Jan? I'll call the Doctor to check you up," said Ken and turned to go out.
The three of us just laughed while Malia's shame was obvious.
"Thank you, Mar for taking care of my son," Aunt Maddie said to me with a smile.
I smiled. "It's nothing, Auntie. As his boyfriend I have to look after him and take care of him," I answered full of emotion.
Auntie smiled happily, as did Jan and Malia.
"It seems that I don't need to ask if you are okay or not because based on what I can see, your relationship is more than okay now," said Auntie, full of meaning. It still means a lot to me and Jan.
"Mom!" scolded Jan who was embarrassed.
"You're still embarrassed? We've seen how you kiss Mar earlier," said Auntie directly.
"'Mom!"
The three of us just laughed. Later, Ken returned with the Doctor. It was still shy and distanced itself from Malia. I can tell that there is something between the two of them. I just smiled.
My fear disappeared completely when the Doctor said that there was no serious damage to Jan's head. They say all Jan needs is rest and wound healing. He can also be discharged by the next day.
With so much going on, I never thought it would end like this. A lot happened but that didn't cause Jan to break up forever, it was more the reason for our relationship to become stronger.
At first, I couldn't admit to myself that I had feelings for my friend. She is not a woman and I never saw myself loving my fellow man. But it seems that we can't choose the person we will love because when our heart beats for someone, it doesn't matter what personality or gender they are.
And this is the result of the love I fought for. I'm happy with Jan and I don't care about people who think our relationship is wrong. What I do know is that I love Jan and I don't care if he is also a man because I believe that love, feelings, cannot be seen in a person's personality and gender.