“I hate you as a father and I hate myself for that!” I screamed. “You never gave me what I truly needed as a child. Duty always came first for you because you are the king,” I continued, sobbing. “But I know I shouldn’t hate you because you don’t have a choice. At the end of the day, I still had to understand you.”
James remained still. His eyes were frozen wide but they had begun to water. His jaw clenched as I continued to cry in front of him.
As his child, I never paid attention to the riches, power and fame. Those weren’t the things I needed. What I needed was him, his time. His presence. His attention. But then, as king - the father of a nation - he couldn’t do that. I resented him for so long, I didn’t know what to do anymore.
That is why I strived to be better than him. I wanted to be different from him and his actions. But in doing so, I brought this problem onto us.
I sighed, wiping my tears. “I understand if you don’t want to help me,” I said, turning to the side. “I don’t expect your full support for my cause. But I want to correct my mistakes. And if I have to do this on my own, I will,” I explained.
I grabbed the note and left the room in silence.
♔♔♔
Finally, it was evening and I hadn't left my quarters after my conversation with James. Mother and Elizabeth have attempted to visit me but I refused to accept them. I’m not in the right state of mind to see anybody right now.
Whenever I looked at the dreaded note, James’ horrified look would reappear in my mind. The guilt for causing such pain bothered me repeatedly.
That’s why I never accepted the truth on why I was already against him. How I am right now was derived from how he treated me. But at the same time, a part of me still believed that he didn’t want that.
I let out a sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. I caused a lot of problems for everybody. Perhaps I wasn’t truly worthy of the title as heir. If this happened during my time as heir, what could possibly happen if I was made king?
Another knock came upon my door.
“I’d like to be alone, please,” I answered, looking out the window.
The knock persisted. Then, a voice spoke, “Your Highness, it’s I, your page.”
I groaned as I stood up, heading for the door. I opened it and snarled, “Can’t anybody in this castle understand that I want to be alone?!”
The page and guards knelt. “Forgive us, Your Highness. But I bring urgent news from the Medicine King,” the page replied.
My eyes widened. I pulled him up and asked, “Where is he right now?”
“He’s currently in the guest room.”
With my page and guards behind me, we rushed to Grandpa Ben’s quarters.
♔♔♔
“Your Highness,” the guards bowed as we approached them.
I asked, pointing at the door, “Is the Medicine King in?”
“Yes Your Highness.”
I knocked thrice before entering. As the door opened, I was caught off-guard.
---*---*---*--- AUTHOR'S NOTE ---*---*---*---
Hello to my lovely readers!
I hope everybody is enjoying this story so far!
The journey to writing this book wasn't easy. My emotions were heavily affected by this book and I'm not saying that as an exageration. It's because my book and my emotions were heavily connected during the writing journey for this one.
Some of the lines here were inspired by real-life conversations, which made writing a challenge. Tears were shed, my anger was triggered at certain parts of the book and somehow, closure with some parts of my past happened.
That, I couldn't believe had happened. I never imagined that one of my books can do that sort of closure for me. Which is why I was afraid to put this one out right away.
It's like serving myself as raw food. But an honest story is better than a pretentious one. So if some of the lines and conversations here are long and sentimental, it's because your writer is sentimental. Ha ha ha!
Anyways, thank you for giving my books a read! Your love, support and encouraging words mean a lot to me! I'll continue to give you a good read in each book.
See you soon. x