The place was dark as he stepped in through the door, he looked around the parlour as he switched on the lights, his heart blasting widely, as fast as he could he hurried upstairs, calling out to her, there was no reply, without even thinking, he barged into her room, there was no one there. He was about to leave when his eyes caught sight something on the bed, he realised it was book, he hurried over and picked it up, his diary, he realised much to his surprise. So that was how she knew. There was a paper inside it, pulling it out, he opened it slowly. He recognised the handwriting as Risha’s.
“My dearest Farhan,
You are the only person I have left in this world to say anything of importance to, now that daddy has left me also. If you are reading this, its most probably that I am no longer on this earth. I have thought and thought of a way to pay for my crimes, and this is the only way I could think of, nothing I can do will ever make up for the hurt I have caused you and Luna, I only wish I had been able to restore what I had destroyed before the end. I know how stupid this may sound but I will ask anyway, please forgive me and daddy for everything we have done. You are the best thing that happened to me and if I have not said enough, I want you to know this, you were the light to the darkness in my heart. I have only one request, please be happy, live on, find someone to share life with and never stop touching the lives of people in positive ways. It has been a pleasure knowing you, the times spent together with you are some of the best memories I have of life and I am glad I have them with me at the end of all things. Good bye Farhan.
RISHA
Farhan felt the fear grip him, “No, this cannot be happening, it can’t end like this,” he closed his eyes in effort to think, “I have to stop her,” he thought, his hands touched a spot on the paper, it was damp, it meant she was crying when she wrote this, that means it wasn’t too long ago, she had to be close. With that thought in mind, he ran round the whole house searching frantically for her. She was not in the house. He rushed to the gate man, “where is she? My wife, where is she?”
The elderly man stood up, his old bones creaking, “she went out a few minutes ago, about 15minutes sir” he said checking his wrist watch, “I thought you knew,” the old man commented innocently. “is everything ok sir? What they are saying about Alhaji in the news, is it true?” he asked, his voice shaking.
“Yes baba, its true” Farhan said sadly, did she say where she was going?” He asked.
“No, she didn’t, but she was crying when she left, I didn’t speak to her.”
Farhan’s mind processed all the places she could be, then that one place came to his mind, it held so many memories for her, she had said that the best memories with her parents were at that place, it was a good place to start. Without wasting a second, he rushed to his car and drove out, before leaving however, he instructed the old man who was in tears now.
“Listen to me baba, I am going to find her so don’t worry, for the time being, no one is to enter this house without my permission, if anyone comes here to ask for Risha, tell them you have no idea where she is.”
The old man just nodded as he sniffed his tears, “please take care of madam, she has suffered a lot” he whispered as Farhan drove away, his heart running faster than the car.
“Please Risha, don’t do it, please he prayed silently.”
Chapter Nineteen
It was a dark evening with cool gentle breeze, the beauty of the sunless sky obscured by mocking rain clouds, the sounds of the dry leaves on the ground, complaining how unfair it was that they had been cast down from the trees and the response of their comrades, affirming to hang on and continue the struggle against the wind.
The clouds had moved a bit permitting a little light from the full moon, that glowed into the distant lake below and the lake in turn returning the favour by reflecting the beauty of its heavenly counterpart. The deem glow casting a shadow upon the trees and flowers as the night grew darker; everything emitted such undeniable beauty and calm.
She shuddered and inhaled deeply in the scent of the flowers, the lake, the sand and the imaginary scent of his person, closing her eyes she exhaled, as a beautiful tear drop saturated her chin finding its way to her slightly parted lips, raising her head a little, she stared at the beauty of the moon as the dark clouds permitted just a little more view, as if jealous to allow full view to the domain above its dark recesses.
Bringing her hands up slowly, she hugged at herself, gently stroking her shoulders with her fingers as if to comfort her self for what laid ahead. The tip of her flay gown danced in the gentle wind, in unison with her loose waist length beautiful black hair which moved in rhyme with the rhythm of her dress. Standing under the moon light in all her charms and almost unnatural beauty, with the deem glow emphasizing the pretty features of her saddened expressions. She looked like some fairy in her beautiful gown claiming dominion over an island, from below the mountain; she looked like a goddess waiting to welcome tired seamen to the comfort of her enchanted island.
Taking slow tired steps, she walked over to the steep end of the mountain, to stare at the lake below, the serenity of its water as it gently splashed against the rocks. She held herself tighter as if to ease off the chill of the wind against her chest. She depicted such an ironic picture, the saddened expression on her face was in sharp contrast to the lively and happy surroundings around her, yet she was no less beautiful than any.
She had always thought about how it would all end, yet never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined herself here, at this moment, in this place that held so much memory, never could she have imagined herself doing what she was about to do now…Suicide.
Yes suicide, “Oh God” her heart cried, “how had it come to this, how did I end up at this moment?” she closed her eyes again as the tears streaked down her soft cheeks.
At that moment, the wind blew roughly, the clouds covered the glow of the moon sending darkness around her, the water down the mountain splashed violently against the rocks as if in protest of what she was about to do.
“O Allah, she whispered forgive me, I don’t ask for anything for myself, for I know I don’t deserve anything from you” she shook now with gentle sobs, the tears flowing unchecked.
“You are wrong” a gentle male voice spoke from behind her; she gasped recognizing the sweetness and familiar calm of his voice.
“I am dreaming” she whispered to herself when she turned to see no one, partly because she was blinded by her tears and because the stringy naughty clouds had refused to share the glow of the moon any more.
“No, you are not” she heard the voice again. “This is no dream, come down from there” the voice said very gently and persuasive.
Blinking away the tears, she strained to see if he truly was there. A slight gasped permitted her lips as her clearing sight caught the features of his face, she stared at him, not sure of her own mental condition, and thinking that her mind must be playing tricks on her at this final moment.
She closed her eyes for a few seconds and then opened them again, expecting the illusion would pass, but when she did, he was still there some distance away from her, looking up at her with keen concentration.
She couldn’t see the expression on his handsome face as it was too dark for that. At that moment, the naughty clouds gave in a bit, allowing a little glow from the moon to shine on them, just like the light from a theatre lamp beaming on the main actors, the wind now blew gently and the leaves around the ground making a gentle sound as if to say, “yes we agree with him” the only element to stubborn to be convinced was the water down below, as it splashed ever so violently against the rock, relentless, as if to say to the other elements “I won’t stop until she Is off that cliff…”
“Come down” he said again, “we can talk this through”; he took a step closer so she could make out the expressions on his face.
“Am sorry” she whispered “I am so sorry…” she couldn’t continue, sobs choked her, as she cried uncontrollably.
“I know” he whispered soothingly with understanding and in a matter of fact way, “Believe me, I know that better than anyone else”
“Forgive me” she whispered “I know how much I hurt you and just how much you must hate me, but please forgive me”, she whispered, regret evident in her beautiful eyes.
“You are wrong” he said, “I don’t hate you, believe me, I wish I did, it would make things easier, wish I could, but I don’t, I can’t. And you know what? I forgive you, yes, I forgive you for whatever you did and whatever you may do. Do you know why?” he asked talking another step closer.
“Because I love you” he said answering his own question, “I love you so much; I fought against it, lied to myself, and wished I didn’t, but I do…”
She gasped, with shock and surprise at his words, could this really be happening, could he really be telling the truth, could he really love a monster like her, was that ever possible? “No” she concluded, he was lying, but why? Why would he be saying all these? What did he hope to achieve?
“To save me”, she realized, “he is saying all this to save me”. The thought sent such joy and heart gripping regret through her entire being, despite everything; he was still too nice to wish her dead.
“O Allah, forgive me for hurting such a harmless creature” she prayed silently. “You don’t have to say those words” she said managing a sad smile, “you never lied before, don’t start now, because of me…”
“Believe me, I don’t intend to”, he tried to smile, but he was far too scared to fake one. “Just come down from there” he pleaded, “we can talk this through, everything would be okay” he said in a reassuring tone, trying to convince her as much as himself.
“No” she thought to herself, “he can’t be telling the truth, he can’t forgive me for all I did, even if he did, it would only flame up this guilt, I can never forgive myself, I can’t live with myself,” she shook her head determinedly.
The wind blew roughly now as if trying to toss her into his arms, the water splashed ever so loudly against the rocks and the leaves protested loudly against her stubbornness.
“I have a confession also” she said weakly, smiling a little again.
“I love you too” she whispered “I loved you from the very start, it’s funny that the reason I hated you, was because I fell in love with you, and the reason why I now love you so much, is because you are the one person I have learned not to hate…every time I hurt you, I also hurt myself,” she tried to smile amidst her flowing tears.
“I know that silly” he said smiling weakly. She smiled also, looking deeply into his eyes. “Thank you for everything” she whispered barely audible now.
“No” he said, please don’t do it, he was crying also “please…”
“GOOD BYE” she said as she fell off…
Farhan move with all the strength at the same moment that she fell off, dashed towards her, his arms outstretched, his out stretched hands narrowly caught hers as she feel over, her weight pulling him flat over the steep end of the rock, his shoulders dug in the edge as she dangled in the air, he winced a few times from the pain as blood damped his shirt and rolled down his arms, still he held onto her with all his strength.
And Risha? She couldn’t even tell what was happening she had passed the strange when she could feel any emotions, all she knew was that she would be dead in a few seconds, why then was she still breathing, the air around moved with unnatural speed, she tried to look around but it seems that the world around her was dangling, she tried to stand, but there was nothing beneath her feet. “I am flying” she thought, “or maybe I am dead,” she heard someone groan and then slowly, something began to pull her up. Next, she felt powerful arms rap around her and she realised she was at the top of the rock again, Farhan carried her and quickly walked down the slope, his arms screaming in protest.
It was then Risha’s mind began to walk again and to process what had just happened, the wind blew gently as if signing after a deep breath, the leaves held their peace, following the example of the water down below which was barely audible now. All waited in pin drop silence as Farhan gently stood her on her feet, his face raw with pain and something else.
“Farhan saved me?” She realised, much to her embarrassment, he was going to hit her now, she was certain, she expected a slap, a pull of her pretty nose, a hard twist of her ears, or at least, some very nasty words which was no more than she deserved for her undiluted bout of stupidity. But none of this happened, on the contrary, he did the most unexpected thing, he held her trembling body to his and hugged he tightly.
“Don’t ever do something like that again, don’t you ever scare me like that again” he muttered in a husky voice, full of relief, “don’t ever scare me like again” stepping back, he cupped her face in his hands and raising it to face his, “do you hear me? You crazy girl, don’t” he repeated as he hugged her again.
And Risha, she didn’t even know what to think, how to respond, it felt like she was in a trance, surely this wasn’t happening, surely she wasn’t in Farhan’s arms, surely death must be playing tricks on her, but it slowly began to feel real, as he held her steadily, her head resting on his shoulder.
The air now blew gently as if in a gentle celebration of triumph, the leaves moved slowly in jubilation, as the cloud had moved a bit now, sending the rays of the moon light on them and revealing the beauty of the moon in the dark skies. Risha couldn’t tell how long he held her like that for she had lost track of time, she closed her tired eyes feeling safe in his arms, she didn’t know whether it was sleep or whether she had passes out, but when she opened her eyes again, she was in a car beside Farhan he looked over at her and smiled. “Go back to sleep Risha, everything will be fine, I promise” he whispered his finger coming to slightly caress her softly at the cheek, she obeyed the soft voice and went back into her dreamless slumber.