You know that empty feeling?, when you feel total numbness, when you feel like everything is never gonna be okay?.
That is how I feel right now.
I felt used, dirty, in pain and broken. I felt like my world had been shattered under my feet. I felt like I was brought to earth to suffer.
The pain it caused me and yet I don't know why he was doing this. I didn't know why he wanted me tortured and then kill me afterwards.
I didn't want to die now, I wanted to tell Zavi that I love him, I wanted to feel loved by him too. I can't just leave without appreciating the first man that I had fallen in love with, even if he doesn't love me back, my love for him is more than enough.
Those men didn't rape me yet, when I woke up, Luciano asked them to beat me. They beat me until all I felt was a numb sensation of blood falling from every pore.
I was glad that I was not raped yet, they'd rather beat me than rape me.
I am scared, so very scared. I've never felt so scared in my life, the idea of being raped and then killed made me so fucking scared.
The sound of the door opening made me flinch, I had been untied yet I cannot be able to move my body. I curled myself in a ball, holding my body tightly together. I whimpered lowly at the pain it caused me, my bones were broken and my body was purple with several marks of beating all over.
"Nora.."
It was her voice.
That was Davina.
I hadn't even noticed she was supposed to be here, I thought she escaped, I thought she had gone to get Zavi.
I didn't even look up, I just stared into space, too tired to speak.
"Davina…" I called slowly, forcing myself to find my voice.
"Ssh..you'll wake them up. I just wanted to know..how you're doing."
I gulped down and finally looked up at her face.
She looked so calm, I thought she was here to untie me but she just stood looking at me.
Could she be?....
Oh no no.
"You've always been so careful and smart, I can't believe you didn't notice, I must be a very great actress."
I was bewildered. Shocked to find out that Davina had been pretending to be my friend. I thought she was real, I thought she was…
"Why?." I choked out ...."Why did you become my friend?."
"It was the only way to be close to you as my boss demanded. It was so frustrating at first but then I started to get used to it, used to acting nice and all."
"Exactly, how can you act so nice?."
"I am nice, Nora. Not until you fell in love with him."
I blinked.
Zavi?.
"You were the one who wanted the boss?."
That question, she never answered.
She approached me, sat beside me and looked at me.
"I used to be so scared, I used to be a little girl who was treated so wrongly until Matteo saved me. I was right when I told you I met Zavi at the hospital, it was when all these began."
I listened to her story, because it had something to do with Zavi. I just...listened.
"I was planted there as a spy, Matteo asked me to help Zavi, that there was no way I would save his life and he'll kill me, it was either he kill or take me because I had seen he was in the mafia. To save his life, I stayed with him as a friend."
"But I fell in love, I spoiled the game. Now he's all I want, I can kill for him, Nora. You'll be an obstacle, I can't withstand him falling in love with you."
"You betrayed him. I don't wanna say me because you weren't there as a friend, but you fucking betrayed him."
"I didn't, my job was to bring you to Matteo. He'll take you, while I continue being his friend, then one day he'll finally become mine." I tried to laugh, I thought this bitch was supposed to be smart, what makes her think she will run from it?.
"Nora, you're very important to Matteo, he's been looking for you all year."
I tilt my head at her, "Why?. I don't know Matteo."
She stood up and tried leaving.
"Davina.." I called her back. She turned, "If ever I'm going to leave here alive, I'll make your death less painful." I told her.
She shrugged and said, "It's if you ever come out of this alive."
***
I don't know how long it has been, a few weeks maybe. I get fed once a day, bathe maybe two times in a week. I smelt like shit, everyday one of the men would come in to beat me, saying they lost their men to Zavi, that it was my fault.
They were making me pay each time they got away from Zavi's men.
My brown hair had tangled and matted over, making me a feral fucking beast. The only thing that was in good shape was the ring he gave me. I had kept that with me, letting it give me hope that Zavi was doing all he could to get me out of here.
The door to my cell screeched open, I flung myself against the concrete of the walls. I looked up, seeing the bitch in front of me again.
She grabbed me up, her face so close to mine, her brown big eyes flaring up with anger, "It's your fault. I lost him, because of you bitch." She yelled and threw me down, I hit my head on the wall, my head felt like it was going to roll off my shoulder.
Getting myself back after enduring the pain, I smirked, "He found out?."
She glared back at me with her eyes sending daggers into my skin.
"It's all because of you bitch." She screamed and raised her hand up to hit me, and in a reflex action, I grabbed hold of that hand, I didn't know where I suddenly got the strength, I was determined to stop this bitch from attacking me, "Not you, you weren't just gonna hit my face, are you?." I asked and pushed her to the wall.
I didn't allow her regain her strength as I launched my new profound strength towards her, smashing my fists on her puny fucking face, I took all of my hatred and anger to destroy her, her scream fell on my deaf ears as I kicked, punched, scratch, beat the hell out of her.
Suddenly, I was thrown across the room by some men who had come to save her. I laughed at the look on her face, she looked so badly ruined. I ruined her face, though those men began beating me again. I was happy that at least I destroyed Davina's face.