I sniffed, blinking back the tears. My memories of this time flashed before my eyes.
Everything had been perfect. From that ceremony at my house to the party they organized for me. Shopping, getting ready for college, we had done all of that with Bernice and Kate. The problem had started when Bernice had asked me to come to Natalie's birthday party. She was more of a distant friend, and I hadn't really felt like going.
I could remember now, that I had a headache, and decided to stay home.
But much later, I decided to suck it up and go, since Natalie had attended my own birthday party last October.
FB
The party was the normal teen party, with a few couples dotted here and there and lots of red cups. I felt a little sick to my stomach with the crowd, and I decided to go and wish Natalie, then probably make it upstairs and get some sleep, hoping Bernice would find me.
"Happy Birthday, Natalie." I said, walking towards where she was standing. She broke into a smile and hugged me.
"Thanks."
"Do you know where Bernice is?" I asked her, trying to make her hear me over the loud music.
"No, not really. You don't look good."
"Yeah, I will go up and take a nap. Please tell her to come get me if you happen to see her."
She nodded and went back to the person she had been talking to, while I made my way upstairs. It was very quiet except for the sound of the music from downstairs. Perfect for me to take the nap I needed.
I opened the first door and immediately closed it. There were two people in it, and the girl had her back to me. I wasn't sure what they were talking about, but I felt like I knew the boy from the small part of his face that I could see.
I shrugged it off and started to walk away, before it occured to me. Nathan. Bernice's boyfriend.
I walked back to the room and opened it again, and this time, he was holding her hand and explaining something to her.
"Nathan? What are you doing here?" I walked into the room, closing the door behind me.
I noticed how he immediately let go of her hand and how she stepped away from him. My mind was already forming stories that I tried hard not to believe.
"Oh, Karla. I came to...well...I didn't know you were here."
"Who is she?" I asked bluntly, pointing at the tall blonde girl.
"Just..." He started to say, before I raised a palm to him, indicating that I didn't want to hear it.
"I really hope it isn't what I am thinking."
He looked at me for a while, probably thinking of what to tell me, before he suddenly rolled his eyes. Apparently, he had decided to drop the good guy act.
"It's not my fault if I decided to take a break from your clingy friend."
"What?"
"Look, Karla. I have nothing to explain to you. Go tattle to her if you feel that's what's best, but...I do hope you realize...just how much she loves me."
I bit on my lower lip, trying to stop myself from physically assaulting him. I turned away, all the drowsiness I felt falling away from me like I had been doused with cold water.
Nathan...he was unbelievable. I immediately went down and searched everywhere, but I couldn't find her. She was nowhere. I decided to go home and call her, but even when I did, she didn't pick. I left a message for her, and decided to take a small nap.
The ringing of my phone woke me up.
"Hello?"
"Karla. Why did you do that?" Natalie sad, he anger conveyed over the phone static.
"Do what?"
"The whole thing with Nathan, of course. Do you know how surprised everyone is? Especially Bernice?"
I rolled my eyes. Who cares if Bernice had found out who Nathan actually was? I have heard her talk about marrying him after school so many times, and I just couldn't let that happen to my friend.
"Do you even know what she thinks right now?" Natalie asked again when I said nothing.
"It is really not my fault, Natalie. And who cares what she thinks? He is not the guy for her."
That had been my response 7 years ago. That's why I let my pride come between us even when she had actually misunderstood everything. Because I believed I was right. And even when she called me, I had thought she was being way too childish over a guy who didn't even deserve it.
The typical childish fight. The typical childish reasons. And that's why there was not a single familiar face in my train of bridesmaids during I and Luke's wedding. Now that I thought of it, it scared me just how prone to cheating people in relationships were.
I had been right, but my pride. God, my pride.
I swallowed again, then slowly went on my knees. Bernice was a little quiet now, her eyes bulgy and red. The sun outside had gone down, and it was now dark.
"Bernice," I said once my feet touched the floor. "You are...you have become like a sister to me. I swear, Bernice. I hope you would look into the parts of your heart where I managed to touch during our very long friendship, tap in and ask if you think I could have done this to you. I went to the party and looked for you, but..I was so out of it, Bernice. I went up and..."
"Just stop." Bernice suddenly said. I looked up to her as she shook her head.
"Bernice?"
"Go. I need time."
"Bernice, please."
"Just go, Karla. Just go."
I wiped a few drops of tears from my cheeks and nodded. "I hope you understand someday, Bernice. And I hope it won't take too long. And I hope that...seven years from now, Bernice...you will be part of my bridesmaids."
I turned away and left the apartment, my tears becoming less and less controlled. I had thought that Luke was the only thing I needed to correct about my past, but I didn't know that there was a lot more. Like Bernice. I wasn't sure I wanted to discover more.
Luke was just a chapter in that whole book. One item in the list of things I had so foolishly overlooked despite their importance.
I could see Luke's blur from the tears that had formed in my eyes.
"Karla?"
I simply stretched my arms to him, and he immediately came to me, wrapping his arms around me as I cried into his chest with no reservations.