I let myself slowly sink to the floor as I heard Luke backing out of the front porch. I could feel my heart breaking even before I could let myself be in love with him, the pain filling my mind before I even let the love begin.
But that was how we were bound to end up. In pain, in love, in sadness, and in hurt. This was a love story that could never happen, a love story we shouldn't even begin.
But he didn't know that. To him, I was just a girl who was here, who helped him, and who, he, probably, slowly, felt something for.
I swallowed as Bernice came out of my room and she folded her hands, her eyes watching me sympathetically.
"Are you that in love?" 
I looked up to her and shook my head using the back of my hands to wipe my tears away.
"I have never seen you cry twice for anything. Not me, not your parents...nothing and no one. But you can't even stop crying now."
I looked up at her, my chest heaving. "What do I do?"
She looked at me with all the seriousness in the world. "Go be with him while you can. He wants you too, right?"
I lowered my head. "I don't know, but...he isn't someone...I can just go be with because I want to live in the present." I chuckled sadly. It was funny, especially since I hadn't been loving in the present for God knows how long.
I swallowed as he approached. "You don't want to be a left alone with all the memories cause you know it will hurt?"
I nodded. "Exactly. Because, in the end, I am the only one who will remember." And I didn't even know who to cry to about him not remembering me, since he would be dead.
I swallowed, my body shaking involuntarily.
Bernice touched my forehead. "You are running a temperature. It seems you caught a cold."
I swallowed, my mind drifting back to the shower. I bit down on my shaky lips, my heart breaking again. How do I tell anyone that the husband I didn't even talk to that much before he died would hold me in the shower, both of us wet and dripping and ask if we should kiss.
It was crazy. Bernice helped me up and took me to the bed, then covered me up.
My phone started to bring just as she did, and she picked it up. She gave a sigh and turned the screen to me. It was Luke. Fresh tears filled my eyes again. 
How could I not be in love?
She came to me and wiped the tears away, then picked the call.
"Karla? Karla, are you alright? I am sorry, I said I would wait till tomorrow but..."
"It's not Karla. It's her friend, Bernice."
I shut my eyes as he went silent for a few seconds.
"Oh. Good day, Bernice. Is Karla there? I am worried about her. "
Bernice sighed and looked at me. "What did you do to her?"
"Did she say something?"
Bernice gave an exasperated sigh. "My friend  has been crying non stop because of you. She keeps saying stuff about her not being able to have you."
"Bernice!" I yelled, sitting up on the bed. 
She looked at me and moved away.
"Have me?" Luke's voice was calm, innocent. Hell. "I don't understand."
"Why don't you?" Bernice asked, her voice raising slightly. "Why don't you understand? Did you lead her on or something? What did you do that Karla would cry for? She never cries for anything, but look at her, frail and weak, fresh t ears coming every time your name is remotely mentioned."
Luke went silent for sometime. "Can you please let me see her? Please?"
"No." Bernice said and turned to me. I was sitting on the bed, wide eyed, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. Did she just tell him he couldn't see me?
"I really need to..."
"You should have held on to her when you had the chance. I am going to take care of her so stop calling."
"But I can't stop calling." Luke said. He was spacing his words, and I thought I could hear a little bit of struggle. "Especially when she is not okay. How can I stop calling?"
Bernice sighed and looked at me again. "You two are a mess. But I can't let myself go through more of this, so please, for now...just stay away."
"Wait." Luke said, and she brought the phone back to her ear again. I waited too, my eyes wide with anticipation. What would he say?
"Please...tell her to watch the sunset with me tonight."
My lips parted and I closed my eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks. I bit down on my lips as they quivered hard, my hands trembling hard as I brought them to cover my face.
"Please?" He said again and Bernice sighed.
"I will." She dropped the phone again and came to my side.
"Gosh, I never thought I would see this." She drew me in to her warmth, her hand slowly patting my back and smoothening my hair.
I let go and hugged her too, needing the warmth. It only brought back memories of our long hug and I swallowed, tears stinging the back of my eyes.
I finally passed out from crying much later, my eyes stinging like hell and my head thinning hard. But the most painful was definitely my heart, and for that, there was no ointment.
When I finally woke up, the sun had already set and it was dark outside. I had missed the sunset date with Luke, just as I had missed the chance to love him the first time.