Luke still hovered above me, his smile small, but he did look satisfied with my answer. He was playing with strands of my hair, and he looked so fascinated, like he was seeing something he had never seen before.
"Like?"
"Mhm?" he hummed an answer, and brought his eyes down to look at mine.
"Are you...going to get off me anytime soon?" I asked, humor dancing in my eyes.
"I am not sure about that." he said with a small laugh, then leaned further into me and kissed my left cheek. He then moved away, and helped me up too.
"Your mum called. I didn't pick it up but..."
"That's better, thanks I don't really want to talk to her right now." He said, his smile fading.
I bit down on my lips. "Sorry if I..."
He shook his head. "You are the only thing keeping me sane right now. You have nothing to apologize to me about."
I nodded with a smile and stood from the bed. "I have a few Celine Dion tracks here. We could listen to that while we watch the sunset, what do you think? We don't have a lot of time before sunset, so you can't bake cookies, but we have store bought cookies, so we can improvise. You like it, right?"
He nodded, his eyes more fixed on my face than anything else. "Is that a date?"
I pretended to think about it, like I didn't want to jump and hug him, like the typical teen on her first date.
I was probably taking too long with thinking, because he just walked up to me, wrapping his hands around me. "I don't care, it's a date."
I laughed and nodded, letting him kiss me again.
I lay on his chest, my eyed fixed on the large open window in my room, and his hand moving through my hair. It was peaceful, with only the background music playing steadily.
It felt a little like a dream, like a scene from my favourite movie. Thing is, both dreams and movies end, and then we are back to reality. In my case, the future.
It made me shudder a little, just thinking about it.
"Are you cold?" he asked me, moving his hand to feel my forehead.
"No, it isn't even cold." I said, moving to adjust.
"Karla?" Luke said, his fingers moving through my hair one more time.
I looked up to him. "Yeah?"
"Do you think that was my first accident?"
My brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I mean...I keep getting these weird feeling when I just think I have been in an accident before. I have no proof of that, but I wake up feeling like...I don't know. A little backward."
I sat up slowly, my mind not able to process it. Now that I think of it, just before our first kiss, he had said he felt like he had lived that exact same day before.
Is this a glitch? Is it possible for him to realize that he was way past this stage in his life?
"Karla?"
I blinked, bringing myself back to focus on him. I forced a small smile and held his hand. "I sonatines feel the same. But I just think...life is a series of coincidences, right? Probably your brain trying to merge everything."
He looked at me, then smiled. "I guess. But you looked really worried just now."
I shook my head. "No, I just spaced out."
He nodded and held my hand in his. I watched as he played with my fingers like it was his favourite past time, and my thoughts went wild again.
When do I have to leave? When does all of this have to come to an end?
The sun set steadily, with Luke by my side, like it was the very fist time he was seeing me. It felt euphoric yet sad, at some point, I almost asked him if he would be able to handle it if I leave.
But I didn't. For his sake and mine, I left the apprehension to myself.
We lay in bed together, my face buried in his chest, his lips just right at my hairline, his hand cupping my waist. It was something we never did as a married couple and now...
"You know, Karla...at some point, I started to think you were committed."
I looked up with a small laugh. "What?"
He shrugged. "You kept talking about you couldn't be with me. It just made me feel like if I ever confessed to you, it would be wrong. Like there was something wrong about the way we met...you are not committed, are you?"
I slowly shook my head. "I was just...scared. I didn't know what to do with all the feelings tangled up inside."
He leaned so his face was aligned with mine. "And you cried so much?"
I nodded. "I cried so much, cause I was afraid to lose you. Because I feel like time will come between us sooner or later and I won't be able to stand it." Tears welled up in my eyes again, and he immediately moved closer to me, wiping my tears with his hands.
"No, don't, Karla. How can you cry on our first day?" He brought me into his warmth, but it only made me cry harder.
Because in the future, I knew, that if I cried, I would have to use the pillow instead.