I sat up, my chest heaving hard. My eyes stung hard, my body feeling weak. My hands were wrapped in a cross around me as I held I and Luke's wedding picture to my chest.
My eyes fell on a dark brown book sitting next to the bedside lamp. I propped myself on all fours and took the book, then slowly let down the picture.
It was Luke's diary. The same one he had used seven years ago. The same one I had read in the past. I swallowed hard, feeling my eyes moisten up again.
I opened the first page. Most of it was the same. The problems with his mother. His father's death...the only difference was that, there were absolutely no traces of me. Nothing at all.
My eyes welled up more as I flipped the pages hard, till I got to a certain page. July 17th, 2022. The day we had gotten married.
I swallowed as my fingers moved to let me read Luke's words on the marriage.
"I got married. I can hardly believe it, but I did get married. I never did believe in finding someone I would love, but marrying someone I didn't love was also too farfetched. It just happened, however and to be honest, I am not even sure how I feel. Should I pity my bride or myself, the groom?"
I swallowed and flipped the page again. He didn't write much about me again. I kept moving, till my eyes caught my name on a turned page. I went back again, not sure if I was anticipating it or dreading it. 
"Someone asked about my wife today. Karla. It was a funny thing, because I didn't even know what to say. We share the same bed, the same house...but the one thing I know about her, isn't something I should tell anyone else. The fact that she seemed just as broken as I am."
My tear dropped to the page, tinting the ink, and I swallowed hard and flipped again. There were more mentions of me. How he thought I was pretty diligent, the one time he saw me smile over the phone, and he thought it was pretty, and I should probably do it more. The one day I had asked him to help me grab something from downstairs, and how nervous he had felt when I called his name. How he realized just how similar I was to his dad, like the way I constantly nagged other people over the phone even though he never experienced it himself, and my stacks of science books.
My tears were choking me at this point. Even in the past, he did say I reminded him of his dad. But more than that, I realized at some point, he had stopped being as oblivious to me as I had thought he was. He never did hate me, he had just needed more time to adjust to me. All the negative energy had, unknowingly to me, come from me. Because I thought I was protecting myself, not knowing I was shutting him out.
November 13th, 2022. The day. The day I was called....the day he died.
I swallowed. There was entry then too.
"I woke up early to work towards my resolve. I thought of reaching out to Karla first. She doesn't seem like a very bad person, just bruised. I am going to hold on to the belief that all a broken soul needs...is another broken soul waiting to be fixed. So, how does breakfast sound? We never had a proper meal together."
My lips quivered hard as I bit down on it, then closed the book. There was no more entries. None. 
My mind reeled to that day. If he had indeed tried....wait.
I looked up to the clock. 8:30 a.m. on the dot. It was the time I normally got ready for work. I would take thirty minutes in the bathroom after waking up by 8:00a.m., then the remaining getting ready and driving to start work by 9:00 a.m.
I swallowed and closed the diary, then let myself slowly off the bed. Something is amiss. Something about this house..this room...is something I have seen before.
Not in the way that I have lived in this place but...the particular feel of today...it felt like a day I have been to. The wave of familiarity was unmistakeable.
I swallowed and put the diary back, then walked to the door. It was slightly open.
I closed my eyes. I always closed the door when I slept. I wiped my tears and opened the door, and the memory came back even clearer.
That day, I had woken up by 8:00. Luke hadn't been in bed. He was always earlier than me, so I didn't bother. I got ready for work and while I was getting ready for work a few minutes past 8:30...
I made my way downstairs, my feet soundless against the tiled stairs.
I heard a clatter in the kitchen. That day, when I was done getting ready for work, I had heard a clatter in the kitchen. That was why I decided to avoid seeing Luke, and stealthily leave. That is why I had decided to just leave, because the main door wasn't visible from the kitchen. I waited a bit on the stair case, then slowly went down. I took a step towards the door when I heard a clatter in the kitchen.
My heart jumped to my throat, as my heart started to beat wildly, my hand trembling. Tears filled my eyes again, and I stood frozen on my spot.
That day. November 13th...
I swallowed, my chest clenching hard, the strings of my heart threatening to cut. I took two more steps towards the door, not quite knowing what I was doing, not knowing what I wanted to see, but...but I was almost sure. I was almost sure. Or mayne hopeful, but at this point, I couldn't be choosy.
I slowly made it to the door, my hand going to the door knob. I gently opened the door, remembering how it had happened.
"Karla?"