I have always been blessed with everything.
I was loved by everyone, I was born in a wealthy family. For some reason, it does feel like a lie but it's not. And the fact that I'm an only child, makes my parents focused even more to me. They loved me, they cared for me. Still, it's not that kind of love that I've been longing for.
"Ezekiel, you're going to the mixer tonight right?"
Adam. Or Aidan. I don't quite remember his name said as he reminded me of what is happening tonight. It's really such a hassle. I mean, a mixer would be fun. I could meet new people and maybe find someone that I could call mine perhaps? But for some reason, I don't feel excited at all.
I used to be.
But now, it just feels dumb.
I know that some people like being with me since I am loaded. To them, I was a walking ATM machine. I never really thought about this before but now that I actually see if from a different perspective, it feels really weird to hear others saying that to my face. I can't believe how shameless they were to be calling me THEIR. ATM. MACHINE. Sometimes I wonder, do I even have real friends?
I don't know about that, that why I created a club for me. And others, who feel like they don't belong. So that we could all get together and feel miserable together. Well, I'm kidding. I didn't really mean for us to be miserable since being with them was actually fun. It was worth the money to buy a room in this college. I didn't really mind it since I enjoy spending money. It seems like it was my hobby.
"Ezekiel! Glad that you're here!"
It was annoying. I wanted to go home and game instead. Drinking and smoking at the same place? I wonder how did they manage to breathe like that. It seems super suffocating to me.
I wanted to go home already.
That was what had been on my mind until I saw her across the room. She looks so cute, with her cheeks flushed pink. Oh no, is she drunk? I can't help but notice her. My eyes can't help but notice her.
"You see someone you're interested with?"
Indeed. I am interested. I can't help but smile to the fact that I get to see her again. It was weird for me how I never got her number yet, until. I know this might sounds crazy, but I think this is fate. I wonder if she notices me... She doesn't look like she did. And it's annoying how the others guys are trying to make her drink even more. Like what the hell is their problem? Can't they see that she's drunk enough?
Wait.
"What the fuck dude?!"
The guy whose name I don't want to know groaned as I push him to the door. Well, he deserves it for trying to do something indecent to her.
She's mine.
I don't know why I kept saying that inside my mind but for some reason, it feels nice to have her in my arms. Again. I wonder how long has it been?
"Touch her again and I will kill you."
I glared. Well, his face pissed me off. I don't have anymore interest to be here.
"Mia, let's go."
I whispered to her as she doesn't look sober. In fact, her body was warm. I wonder if she was not good with alcohol. Somehow, it was cute. Seeing her nose flushed pink, I wanted to pinch her cheeks so badly. I took her in my arms and she looks troubled with something. She was frowning even in her sleep.
She is so damn cute.
"Why are you here?"
I wanted to ask her that but she was sleeping so I didn't want to wake her up. And I also don't want to send her home, now. I mean... I hated the fact that she's living with Lucas of all people. It worried me everyday just thinking about what he might do to her. I know him well enough to noticed that he's also been looking at her with interest.
It's troubling me.
It was cute how she was squirming in her sleep. I was really glad that I brought my car with me. She really do makes me smile with the slightest thing she's done. So yes, I decided to bring her home with me. Well, she's been here before... Maybe she will remember? I took her in my arms again as I carried her to my house. It would be nice if she remembers...
"Where am I?"
Her hot breath on my ear are sending shivers as I was feeling nervous, all over again. Calm down Ezekiel.
"My house."
I told her as I laid her down on my bed. She really was warm, somehow it got me wondering if she might have a fever or something.
"Where you going?"
I won't be able to control myself if she keeps acting so cute. Oh god.
"I'm going to get you some medicine. It seems like you have a fever."
I said as I could feel how hot her forehead is with my palm. She really did have a fever. What surprised me the most is when she grabbed my hand, making me cup her face. It was cute. It was really cute I wanted to kill myself for having indecent thoughts towards a sick person.
"Your hand are so cold. It's nice.."
She whispered in a low voice as she began to drift into sleepiness again. Oh my god. She really know how to make a guy fall in love even more. It was hard trying to calm myself down after that.
It was really hard.
She looks uncomfortable with her clothes, she seemed to be sweating cold sweats. I was worried that she might not be able to get a good night rest if this keeps on so I decided to change her clothes. Well of course, it was embarrassing for me to do that. But it's the best for her. I've only wanted her to feel comfortable... Plus, we already did seen each other naked before... so I don't think she would be angry... Right...
"I never told you this but the first time I laid eyes on you was at the entrance ceremony. I never thought I was capable of romantic feelings. But that day, when I first saw you.. I was drawn to your smile. You were glowing."
I feel embarrassed saying this to a sleeping person but somehow, I feel like she could hear me. My feelings.
"I dont really show emotions on my face so maybe that's why it appalled to me. And I guess your face was just my type."
I don't know why I kept talking although I know that she's not going to hear me... Still, it feels nice. Right now. With her. It was indeed nice.
"When I met you again, I thought it was my chance to see you. Two years of trying to find you, and I finally managed to get ahold of you literally. But not only that, it was fun watching you. Did you not remember... Two years ago? When we're still juniors. We might have gone a little too crazy back then. Getting drunk. Being in each other's arms. Kissing you. Having you with me feels like a dream. We are two wandering souls trying to find our way back home, ended up meeting each other. It was really hard trying to recall and remember your face... It really took me two years to be able to meet you again. This is definitely destiny right?"
I was overwhelmed. I don't know why am I saying this to her. I don't even know what the heck is wrong with me since I know fully well that she's sleeping and probably didn't hear me. A part of me wished that she did. So badly. But I don't know what would happen if she really remember that night... Is she going to remember me?
I could only wish.
"I never told you the most important thing, I love you."
Confessing is really easy when the other person is sleeping. Heck, I don't think I would be able to do this if she was awake. If only I have the courage to confess to you... It's frustrating. I don't even know why the heck am I such a wimp.
"Why can't you just confess?"
I'm annoyed at myself too. I was so pathetic.
I sigh as I decided to sleep next to her, I don't mind being sick if it was from her. I can't help wonder about the future when I looks at her.. it made me wonder about life. Wouldn't it be fun to be spending our lives together? To live until we grown old, to held each other hands. To look into your eyes and say I love you..
I wish I was brave enough to say all this things to you.