"Peace be with you, baby!"
Today is Sunday and just after Mass. We are currently walking out of the church, with my daughter, Grace and me.
"Peace be with you momma. I love you!" I couldn't help but shudder at Sunny's sweetness. I picked her up so we could easily get out of the church. We sat in front so we could hear Father clearly.
When we left the church, I immediately rode a tricycle to go to the carnival park.
"What do you want to eat baby?" I asked her.
"Anything momma, it's up to you." She answered cheerfully. She just clung to my side while I was busy buying food for us later. We left Grace in the park, where we will be stationed for a mini-picnic.
I thought of bringing them, Grace and Sunny, in a picnic, because I will be gone for three months for the renovation of Paradise Island Resort in Palawan will do.
Two days ago, Andrew told me that I was involved in that project ... as his secretary. At first I didn’t consent because I was worried about my daughter. I don't think I can afford to be separated from her for three months.
But because I have no choice, and as an employee it is my duty to work well for the company I work for.
Grace and I just talked that I would call them every day to check out on Sunny.
I even explained to my daughter that I really need to go there, in Palawan because my Boss needs me. I am also very grateful because somehow my daughter understands me. I also promised Andrew that this will be my first and last time together in distant places for my work. Because if this is followed, I may be forced to resign.
"Momma, cotton candy please?" My daughter's eyes were talking and shining as she looked at the man who was selling cotton candy.
"Okay baby." I put down the foods and drinks I bought first to buy her favorite cotton candy.
"Manong, please?" I called manong who immediately approached us.
"How many pieces, ma'am? What colors?" He asks.
"Baby how many do you want? Also choose the colors." I smiled and said to Sunny.
"Can I have three pieces momma? It's like 'I love you' from you!"
"Aww. Okay baby."
"... what color baby?" She thought for a moment and when she thought of something she immediately drew a smile on her lips.
"Aha! Momma I want color blue, pink, and red!" She said excitedly.
"Color blue for Daddy, pink for Mommy, and red is for me! Momma, aren't you gonna ask me why my color is Red?" I stared at my daughter. She was ecstatic as she looked around at the three different colored cotton candies she was holding. She's mentioning again about Daddy thingy ... which makes me froze.
"Why red?" I asked her without in myself.
"Because, said teacher Mary, red is the love between mommy and daddy ... because of love that's why I'm here! So from now on, red is my favorite color momma!"
"... it's a pity because Dadda isn't here. Momma where is Dada? Is he at work? He's abroad?"
I froze for a moment. I don’t know what I’m going to answer to Sunny’s questions. I seemed to cry as I fainted from shock. I didn't expect that ... especially now.
"Momma is there a problem? It's okay even if you don't answer my questions momma. I'm sorry too." She said frowning. That’s when I recovered. I knelt down in front of her so I could match her.
"I-I'm sorry baby, okay? Momma still needs a long time to answer your questions..."
"Why?"
"It's a long story baby." She just nodded. Suddenly I felt guilty. I don't want to hurt my daughter as much, especially she is still young. She still doesn't understand the situation. I also don’t want her to be surprised. So I needed a long time to think carefully about how I would explain everything to her.
"Baby do you like balloons?" I asked her, after I see woman carrying a lot of balloons. Many children also lined up with her to buy her balloon merchandise.
"Sure momma!" After I bought the balloons Sunny decided to go back to Grace, where we had a small blanket.
"Ate Grace look, momma bought me all of these!"
"Momma's sweet! Where's your sister?" Grace joked.
"Yeah, momma? It's okay Ate Grace, let's just share this cotton candy and then let's just play this balloons game." She said smiling. She looks so cute while saying those sweet words. Grace and I both smiled.
"Ma'am, you're really lucky with your daughter." Grace said as we arranged the meals.
"I'm luckier than her. Because of her, I've learned so much. She's also the one who gave light to my dark yesterday..." I said with a smile as I stared at my daughter intently. I just think now that Sunny and I will be separated for three months seems to be breaking my heart. I will miss her smiles. The way she called me 'momma' in a tender way. I will miss her completely. If I were the only one to follow, I would never leave. But it's also for her. It's also for my daughter's future, so I'm trying.
I'm doing this so that she doesn't feel that she lacks ... that I am just enough for her, so that she doesn't feel that she lacks ... that she doesn't have a father.
I don't want to deny Sunny the fact that she has a father ... but it's better like this. Just the two of us ... no problem. I'm sure everything will go awry when Andrew finds out that we have a child ... he's married and I don't want to ruin his family.
"Ma'am, are you okay?" Grace's question returned my focus to the truth.
"H-huh? Sure! I'm fine." I smiled hard.
"Momma why are you crying?" Suddenly I was confused, I rubbed my face and my tears were shaking from my eyes. Sunny's tone of voice seemed to make me cry even more.
"Momma will miss you," I cried in response.
"I'm going to miss you too, momma. But don't cry anymore because you said you'll call ate Grace everyday, right? All right, stop crying momma..." My crying got louder because of what my daughter said and did. She rubbed my cheek with her finger. She even tried to kiss my eyes so that it stops from crying.
"That's it momma! I already kissed your eyes, maybe that's enough for you to stop crying?" I nodded and hugged her tightly.
"Picture picture! Let's just take a picture just to be happy!" Grace said so I laughed.
"One, two, three smiles!"
"Just the two of you, baby Sunny kiss momma." Sunny immediately followed what her ate Grace said.
After we took the picture we ate well. Then after, I first accompanied Sunny to Grace to play on the swing. While I left on the blanket we were lying on to watch the things we were carrying ... and for me to be free to watch my daughter playing.