I'm in the unit and I'm already dressed. I sat on my small sofa to think of something to do. And I remembered that I don't have anything to eat here.
So I took my wallet to go grocery shopping for the week. When I got down to the ground floor I saw which Injang.
He was in the reception area. Sitting while watching a TV series. When he felt me, he turned to me.
"Oh Iris, is it your morning?"
"Brother Mark sent me home early today. You know that it's only once in a while to be serious and kind," I said laughing.
"I really like that man. The next time I scold him, tell him that he is married so that he doesn't always have a hot head."
"Oh, I don't have any plans to get married. I'm too busy with work. Maybe I'll get married at that ramen house."
Which Injang laughed again. "What a pity for his father if that's what he's planning."
"I'm sure. He's fine. I'll go first," I said goodbye.
"Why, where are you going? You should just rest."
"Well, my fridge is empty. That's why I thought of going grocery shopping."
Aling Injang stood up from sitting.
"Why?" I will ask.
"No! It's good that you reminded me. Come here hija, I'll give you something."
I didn't come right away. He bent down and took something from the cabinets underneath.
He placed the three eco bags on the table. It's full of food and stuff. Then he went to the small drawer and took out a white envelope.
I seem to know it. I came closer and sighed.
"Your mom came here a while ago. But I didn't let her go upstairs because I knew you were still at work. So I was told that you should just go to work. Maybe at the ramen house that's it now and I saw you weren't there."
"Aunt Injang. Didn't I say 'don't accept them or let them in here?"
"But son, your mother just wants to see you. It's been two years, Iris. Don't you miss your Mama? Talk to her, son."
I didn't answer. Because I know that the moment I open my mouth, no words will come out. But cry.
"And besides, your uncle Henry wasn't with me, so I let your mom go. I also let you go because it looks like your mom is sick. Poor thing, she'll be waiting for you outside. It's still hot today. Then I'll go see you even at the ramen house."
I'm still speechless. I was just looking at the eco bags in front of me.
"Oh he's fine. I promise this is the last time I'll let your mom stay, okay? Just take these."
Ever since I left home, I have never spoken to or faced Mama. A few weeks after I ran away they found me here. They try to take me but I don't agree. I can't even leave the apartment. because I don't know anything cheap to rent. The only money I have left is my allowance.
They also always bring food or money. Which I don't accept. Which Injang accepts no'n. And it was only from him that I found out that mom had bought my unit. Even though it was hard to accept, I just accepted it. I told myself that I would just pay what he paid for my unit. When I have a job.
Before I entered the ramen house, I first worked at which Injang so that I could graduate from secondary school.
I told Mama not to let her see me if she still doesn't believe what I told her that day.
Because of my pity for aunt Injang, I will just accept those. I also thought that I could save money.
I saw Aunt Injang's face light up and she even helped me fix them.
"I'm sorry, hija. I really feel sorry for your mother and daughter. I don't even know the whole story between you and your mom. Remember that Wella and I are here for you, okay?"
I nodded and smiled lightly. "I'm sorry. And thank you for understanding," I said.
I only brought one eco bag up. Aling Injang said he would just send the rest of my unit up.
I opened the door and went straight to the table. I put the eco bag there and sat on the chair.
"You can do it, Lily. Just a little. Just be patient. Don't give up," I reminded myself.
I wiped the tears that appeared. Nope. You won't cry anymore.
Just a few seconds later, someone knocked on the door. I immediately went to it and opened it.
"Thank you," I said to brother Felipe. The one who collected Mama's gifts.
I put them inside one by one. That's when I noticed that there were two sacks of rice. Apart from the big eco bags.
I organized the canned goods, snacks, beverages, breads, and other stocks in my mini pantry and put the meat, chicken, fish, vegetables and fruits in the refrigerator.
When I finished I drank water and said goodbye. After eating, I went to the room to clean my body again.
Right after I finished in the room, the rice was cooked. I ate and had corn beef. After finishing, I went back to the room to sleep.
I am emotionally and physically drained today. I just want to rest even just for a couple of time. But before my eyes closed, I couldn't help but cry.
***
A knock from the door woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes and rubbed them. My eyes are still sore from crying earlier. I looked at the clock on my bedside table.
It's 7:47 in the evening. How many hours did I sleep?
I went out to see what was banging on my door.
"LILY IRIS OPEN THE DOOR! I KNOW YOU'RE STILL AWAKE!" Wella shouted outside.
"I brought some wine, Lily! Let's just shoot it! Let's not go to school and work! Let's get drunk now!" Cali shouted next as they continued to slam the door.
Which Injang must have told Wella what happened earlier. Then Wella turned to Cali.
I know the door should be open because we are bothering the neighbor. But I don't want them to see me like this. Again.
They will also stop later.
"Please Iris, open it," Wella cried.
"We are here. We are with you, always. We will not leave you," said Cali.
I just leaned against the door. I couldn't stop crying again because of what they were saying. I sat down because of my crying.
I covered my mouth so they couldn't hear me outside.
"Iris..."
We also cried for a few minutes in front and behind the door. Until I heard the voice of which Injang was sending them home.
I slowly entered the room and lay down on the bed. Still didn't stop crying.
And I can't stop thinking about what happened to Mama and me. Because until now, I'm still mad at him.
I can't accept that he trusted someone we don't know more. Than me who is his son. He supported and defended the person more... he shouldn't have
morning I didn't feel like leaving my bed. I lost the will to act. I'm too lazy to go to work. So I took out my cell phone to text brother Mark.
When I opened my cell phone, I had many notification texts from Wella. They also made 15 missed calls to me. I also had a missed call from an unregistered number.
I opened Wella's texts to me.
Wella:
Are you out 2 days early??
Samgyup is my 3rd treat because the feedback on our presentation is good, yay
Come here to PBC samgyupasalan haaa. Cali and I will wait for you if we go first. Or text me if it's
3:45pm
??? Did you OT again????
It's ok that you're late, I'm used to it
4:56pm Aunty
said you're home but you didn't show up, are you mad??
We've been here for a while, Iris. We are hungry huhu
5:43pm
Cali and I are going home. We just took out to eat.
6:20pm
We're almost at the apartment
6:38pm It
's the apartment. Get ready for me, lily iris, get ready with your excuse of 500 words.
6:49pm
WE ARE RIGHT ACROSS YOUR UNIT
OPEN THE DOOR
LILY
LILY IRIS WHAT?
7:28pm
I read Cali's next.
Cali:
Oy, he said he's gay, hehe
, dinner is free again before duty
3:40pm
leaving the house, can I see you? What are you? lucky???? Bleh you're going to PBC alone
3:51pm
gay I'm hungry
go for free dinner
Lily???
5:50pm
Huhu my samgyupv ended up in jabe it's your fault!!!!
When I'm hung up on the jabe, I'll eat you. You exchanged the unli
pork, chicken, and beef with the bee in the village???
I don't want 2pc spicy chicken
6:17pm
Iris I brought wine. Your favorite, I still owe it to aunt Injs.
If you don't go out there, I'll make you pay for it
. And what I'll pay for the alcohol is for us to pay for the electricity!!!!
It has been three months since I received food and money from Mama. I used that to be able to study at this entrance.
I should be in my second year of college now. But due to the lack of money, I was not able to study.
I'm at the mall today shopping for school supplies. I was also enrolled last week with Wella. I also enrolled in his school so we could be together.
Wella is one year older than me. He is in his third year of the teacher training course. While I'm a first year BS Psychology student.
I have a big reason why I took that course. That's because of my dad.
Since I already have a job, I did online schooling. I will no longer need to attend school classes for lectures, exams, and quizzes. But I will need to attend other school events. Like intramurals, college fest, school foundation, and others.
Wella and I are fine. After that day, the next day I was surprised when I left the room, they were already in the living room. Then when they saw me they immediately ran to hug me.
After buying everything I needed, I went home to rest.
***
The speed of time.
Now it's the end of the semester. And in just a few weeks I will be in my second year.
I'm in my room now, doing my late school works. I was busy writing when someone knocked outside.
I stopped writing to open the door.
"Is it still possible?" Wella asked when I opened the door.
I didn't answer and just turned my back on him. I went to the fridge to get water and drink.
"Miss Fiel talked to me Lily. She said you missed a lot of exams and other activities. You also don't have grades in your two major subjects," she said.
I know that. Miss Fiel told me that last week.
"Miss Castilian, I am sorry to say but what's happening to you, hija? Most of your grades are failing. Especially your majors. Your subject teachers told me that you're not even passing any activities anymore," said miss Fiel.
He sent me here because he said he had something to say. This is it.
I am aware of that. That's why I can't do school activities anymore because I got into trouble at the ramen house. Then I don't have any money to buy school requirements.
"I'm sorry, Miss."
"You're one of the most brilliant students in your department. And I honestly have high expectations of you. But now what happened, Lily? And it makes me sad knowing that you're failing."
Failing. It must have been wrong for me to study right away even though I already had money. It's because I'm arrogant. I thought I could.
"I know and I'm doing what I lack," I replied to Wella.
"That's exactly what I told Miss Fiel. I told her that you can't even go to work anymore because you're doing what you lack. I also said to give you more time to finish everything. But..."
"But what?"
He sighed before answering. "They gave an extension, but they say it's only until tomorrow. You know they're tight on the deadline because the semester is about to end."
I took a deep breath.
Only until tomorrow.
And if I don't pass tomorrow I will stop again.
I just nodded to Wella.
"Lily... you want me to help you so you can finish right away? Shall we send Cali to help?"
I immediately shook my head at Wella. "No more. You still need to revise your thesis, don't you? And Cali still has that duty. So don't. But thank you."
"But your studies...how's that going?"
I tried to smile at Wella. "What are you doing, that's fine. I can still enroll next time. I just need to save. Then I won't work anymore and just focus on studying."
Wella convinced me several times that he would help me and I also refused several times. Even if the five of us work together, we won't be able to finish it right away.
After Wella left, I went to the kitchen sink to wash myself. Then I wiped my face.
I went to my room and put away what I was doing earlier. Wasteful.
Too bad again.
But I can't do anything. I'll just come back next time and make sure to improve.
Sometimes because of the hardships, I think of just going back home. But just thinking about doing that, I feel fear.
Is there a foot like that? You feel afraid of places, things, and people that you have been with, visited or experienced for a long time. Just see them or get close to them and hear their voice. You are immediately afraid. You are afraid that you will have trouble breathing and that you will close your eyes and cover your ears. Everything is difficult.
I created my email for the school and said I was going to drop out.
***
The next day, I acted as if nothing happened yesterday. I got up, cooked brunch, and cleaned my entire unit.
In the early morning I got myself ready to go to work. I need to go in to save. I also need extra income to accelerate my savings.
When I arrived at the ramen house, I went straight to boss M's office. I knocked three times before opening the door.
Boss M's eyes met mine and his eyebrows met.
"Good afternoon," I greeted.
"Uh, good afternoon too. May I ask who are you?"
"Wow ha. You're awesome brother. I'm your favorite employee," I answered before sitting in the chair in front of him.
"Axon is my favorite. Because when Axon is absent, he says goodbye in person. Unlike others, he only says goodbye via text," he said grumpily.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do first. Besides, I'll just waste the fare to get here and then you won't agree."
"So can you make your own decision? Hi Desisyon, I am Mark Andrew Salazar owner of this ramen house. How may I help you?" He said sarcastically.
"It's Boss M. Don't worry, I'll go OT to make up for my five days of absence," I said.
Boss M let out a breath.
"It stinks," I said and covered my nose.
"By the door, you can go out and find your replacement."
"This one! It's so hot-headed! Are you and your jowa fighting?"
Boss M
"I don't have a jowa! Go to work!" He will push me away.