All I'm saying is- he is human... treat him as such. Don't condemn him without listening to his side, Raphael's new friend aka my inner b advised me.
That's not true. We talked about what happened, I mulled.
No, you dissected, and he listened patiently, my inner b was on a roll.
Yet, not once did he object, I countered.
At this, my inner diva started counting his virtues while pacing the imaginary floor. 'Did you give him the chance? You were the one to build an impossible castle of dreams on an insecure foundation. You were the one to abandon a relationship that has leavening magic which lacked in this generation. You may reason yourself with whatever you think is right, but just think... he was the guy who held you when you cried. He was the guy who listened to your blabbering and didn't blanch at your imagination. He was the guy who rescued you when you are in danger, not once but twice. He was the guy who wanted to announce to the world that you were his. Unlike you, who wants to hide. Remember, once you told him that you will fight for him. Well, you just say the words, and he... he puts action behind those words. He killed for you girl...what else do you want?'
An apology for starters, I reasoned.
You ask too much...yet give nothing, she continued her lecture but I drowned out her voice, as sleep was calling me.
Hey... hey... I'm talking to you here. Give some respect to your inner self.
Ya ya... I got it. 'Go Raphael' is the new cheer, I said sleepily.
When I woke up again, a sister was checking for my vitals.
'Hello. How are you feeling now? Any soreness lingering? enquired about the nurse.
'No. I feel better'
'Good, good. You need to take more care of yourself now. You have another life growing inside you', said the nurse motherly.
I wanted to clarify her by saying-Two actually. If you include my inner diva. But who's counting, right? -Now, this would give me a direct ticket to an asylum.
Instead, I replied, 'sure'.
It took six days to satisfy the doctor that I'm healthy enough to get discharged. I would have escaped in two days if not for the sake of my baby. When asked about the bill, I got the reply that it is taken care of. Just like him, to play god from behind the scenes. Yet in all this time, there was no glimpse of Raphael. Not even once. Surprisingly, my inner diva also became quiet after the first two days.
I didn't dwell on will he come, will he not, more than necessary as I have bigger problems. Like, I'm all alone in this big city with no job, no financial security and there is a baby on the way. What will I do when the baby arrives? How can I manage my job (if I got any) and the baby? There is no sweet grandmother neighbour on my floor to babysit. And what about my home? I paid for it, but it is not suitable for a baby. Babies need a backyard to play in, motherly figures to smile when they poop, and not to forget...diapers! strolls in the park and so much more!! what am I going to do!
Ok, Erica, there is no need to panic. There is still time.
I kept my panic to a bare minimum and immersed myself into a new routine. I wake up, send some resumes, have a healthy breakfast, do some yoga (yup, it's new me), attend the interviews if there are any on that day, come home, make some healthy dinner, eat, and by the end of the day I would be so tired, if I tried to put my hand thoughtfully under my chin, somehow, I can miss and poke myself in The Eye. I would usually fall asleep by 9 without thinking about someone. Nope. Not thinking about him. At all.
It worked for two weeks. Two weeks of pretending I'm moving on in my life. Then one day, while I was returning from another interview, I saw a picture on the newsstand on my way that ran my blood cold.
That bastard! How dare he? Here I'm, being miserable, puking my guts out daily and he has the gall to announce this news! That's it. I'm going to kill him. Hell, hath no fury as a woman scorned.
Yes! Let's kill that sorry excuse, being an ostrich didn't suit my complexion anyway, said my inner diva, sharpening her imaginary sword.
What happened to 'Go Raphael'?
Betraying you is ok, I get it, who wouldn't try with your trusting nature? But how dare he betray me! Enraged my inner diva.
I sighed; we are both the same. When are you going to learn?
My inner diva opened and shut her mouth like a gaping fish as if I told her apocalypse is just around the corner. We are?
I ignored her and thought of ways to kill Raphael. Because staring in the gossip column of the newspaper is the picture of Raphael Sinclair dancing with Elizabeth, with the headlines saying, 'New York's most eligible bachelor snared!'
I quickly paid for the newspaper and started reading right there on the street.
'Marriage is in the air, folks. If rumors were to be believed, then New York's most eligible bachelor, who is a regular on Forbes magazine, is no longer on the market. If you haven't guessed the bachelor by now, you are the only one living under the rock. Yes, folks, we are talking about none other than Raphael Sinclair, the man behind the power of Sinclair industries. Our sources inform us that he was snared by none other than the heir of Watson Industries.
Many speculated a possible merger between these companies for a long time. Though Watson Industries were in murky water a while back what with their stunt, it seems they overcame all the hurdles. If the talk is to be believed, then strap your best dress folks, because the wedding can be in a month! Yes, you read it right, in a month! Does that mean can we expect a mini-Sinclair-Watson heir within a few months? All rumors aside, the couple looks smashing and when they tie the knot, they could be known as the most beautiful power couple. What do you say, folks? Share your thoughts on this column in the following email. We are waiting to hear from you!'
You would be waiting for a long time then. Smashing couple! Power couple! I'm sure I look like a red tomato to the bystanders. Right now, my main focus was on a particular snake who tried to pull this stunt.