Two days have passed since I cut our ties.
Despite telling him no, I was suffering from a lassitude, a vagueness, that prevented me from doing anything more energetic and profitable than wandering the streets of New York listlessly. A strenuous exercise may help, but my body was not obeying my commands. What I need is, I decided fretfully, something to take my mind off Raphael Sinclair.
Remind me why are we doing this again? Asked my inner diva.
Self-respect, I gritted out.
It must be nice sleeping with that self-respect, my inner self said sarcasm dripping from her voice.
Decide which side you are before sprouting your nonsense.
Can I say, peace? My inner b queried.
There was nothing dramatically changing in my life once I said no. No light pointed out whether I have done the right thing or not. No mini-Raphael's asking, 'Why did you leave daddy, mommy?' In the dreams. All the same, I felt lonely. Sometimes I questioned myself, for whom am I behaving as such. What am I gaining denying both of us what we want! Other times I cried to sleep missing him more than anything.
Then came the flowers. Not a single bunch mind you, but like a garden. Every single day for two weeks.
Then the flowers stopped, and random things appeared in the mail. It took me two days to realize what was happening. Raphael Sinclair is sharing his life. Showing the glimpses of his life. A music album, a golden era celebrity photo, a magazine that speaks about Italy in detail-his favorite place, a dialogue printed from newspaper feed, implying me to guess his favourite movie, and so on. It became a puzzle game. Slowly, I too started sharing my favourites through the mail. Musical tastes that run to Broadway musicals, classic country, and hip-hop. I'm nothing if not eclectic. It's like we are back in the '90s, knowing one another through letter mails. We never met. We never spoke in depth. No words said. There was no communication, nevertheless, it felt like we are more meaningful now than before. I wait for those letter mails now.
He is trying, don't you think it's high time you come from your high horse? My inner diva said.
By now, I'm three months pregnant. Yet my gut says no, not yet. First, I have to learn to be independent again. It's been six weeks since I quit, and there was no response from my interviews. Nothing. Some feared Raphael's wrath for daring to place his girlfriend and some gave the opportunity because of their greed. The former didn't accept me, the latter I rejected. I could have asked Raphael, but what's the point of me breaking up when I ask for his help for everything? And with him courting me (feels like it), and me shouting 'stop your manipulation' on his face during our break up, I don't think it's advisable to approach him. I have to prove to myself. I have done it once; I can do it again. Overall, as days pass by my situation became Bleeker. Well, when there is no road to walk, you make your path.
And Kade returned to the living land with a surprise in tow, Sarah. She is a genius and I said the same thing to Kade. 'She is a genius, Kade. She is like a wizard with a computer. She is one hell of a package, you got lucky'.
To which he replied, 'don't I know it'.
He felt remorseful for leaving me when he learned about my kidnap. But once I understood his reasons for staying away, I made him realize it was not his fault. With the help of Kade and now Sarah, I opened my own company. Kade loaned me 50% of the amount. And the remaining cash I accumulated by selling my home. It was not practical anyway. I shifted into Sarah's old room for now, which was not that far from my old place. But soon I have to look for cheaper houses with a suitable environment to raise a kid. Piece of cake. Not.
My company, ErRatic, specializes in advertising and marketing. We are generally hired by small companies or online stores that need a boost for the sales of their products. The products that are failed to sell, or whose sales went awry, or who are new to the publication of their products approach us. We basically give them a makeup, social presence, if needed create a website, advertise their products in digital fields as well as hard print brochures when necessary. We try to salvage the damage done by the poor marketing by the clients before it becomes catastrophic resulting in damage to clients' reputation.
We not only repair the damage but sometimes find out the root cause (bad-mouthing publicity, paid trolls, etc.,) for a favourable fee of course. Sarah does the creation and I do the marketing. I also bring clients. The years of concentration on my job had given me a lot of insight into the hidden mechanisms of office politics, on how to negotiate a deal, on how to lure a client, on finding their capabilities and weaknesses and using it to our advantage.
Within six months, our company has gained a potential client base. The employees working for the company also increased to 10. It was small, ongoing, hectic work. But it kept me busy.
Raphael slowly but surely warmed inside my heart again. This time to stay permanently. He fulfilled all those things I questioned him on our break-up day and more. Movie, date, vacation... it was magical. Each time he met me, he cracked a chink in my armor until finally breaking it when he asked to move in. And who could resist the charm that is Raphael Sinclair when he smiles at you?
Surprisingly, my inner diva became quiet as my pregnancy progressed. Thank god for small mercies. Otherwise, it would have been impossible to live with two hormonal women in one body.
And the members of the Sinclair family, well, Raphael fed up with Diana's taunts, finally blurted out her affair to his father. Edward is now officially divorced on the grounds of adultery. And Nathaniel, once he learned about the stunt Sophie pulled, he became sober. He started taking life more seriously. And dear Elizabeth, she really tried to sue me, which angered Raphael very much. And when Raphael gets angry he gobbles you up for breakfast. That's what he did with Watson Industries. That didn't deter her. Last we heard; she married a 60-year-old rich guy. Good for her. And Charlotte, sigh, she is still attempting her antics. I'm controlling my reactions to her better now. She will rue the day when she takes things too far. For now, I smile and wave.
Today is a big day for me. I'm finally moving in with Raphael. After his continuous persistence, I gave in. He bought a home for us, just like I told him once. As we both have companies based on New York, we didn't shift the city, instead opted for a more secular area. A big backyard, treehouse, Swimming pool on the side...it is heaven. And we are going to live in it. Only, he has to leave for work today. Emergency in the office.
'What's the matter, Sarah? I told you, everything has been unpacked and arranged in the new home. There is no emergency to rush in this traffic. Anyway, Raphael said he is swamped with work. Of all days to be busy, it has to be today', I pouted already missing him. We both haven't said 'I love you' to each other yet. It never felt right. The first time, it was rushed and now, I don't know what I was waiting for! For him to say first perhaps.
'I agree that I'm officially on maternity leave, that doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. I too am busy. So what, if he is busy, we can do that girl thing. Face packs and applying nail polishes, what do you say?' I wrinkled my nose even as I asked that. My reaction is nothing compared to Sarah's. She got that deer in the headlights look as if I was asking her to go undercover operation with me.
'Babe, you and I are one of a kind. Why don't we leave that girly stuff to the actual girls?'
'Don't you miss Kade?' I whined.
'Uh uh. So, that's it. My radar is detecting something. You are missing Raphael. It's just one day. He said he will return in the evening. Give the man air to breathe'
'I can't. Look at me, I'm bloated like a whale. And he is on the cover page of Forbes. Cover page. Haven't you seen how those women at the market stare at him as if they are starved and he is a buffet? I wanted to scratch their eyes. What's happening to me? My mood is like a see-saw going up and down', I started crying. This pregnancy has totally changed my personality. The once tough woman has become a crybaby. Raphael patiently handles me when I'm in one of my mood swings. Unfortunately for me, today he is not available.
'Okay...why don't we try that new breathing technique your coaching class taught? One...two...three, breathe in and breathe out. We did it six more times when she said, oh look there is the house', she looked so relieved, I felt insulted.
'Do you have to look so relieved?' I asked with disgust evident in my voice.
'Trust me. I don't know how Raphael handles you, but babe, you are a bitch. I feel sorry for Raphael', she opened her car door and exited before I could reach her.
'You wait right there. I'm coming for you', I slowly scrambled from my seat. Being nine months pregnant is not a walk in the park. You have to do everything at a certain angle.
When I left the garage and knocked on the main door, there was no response. I stomped to the backyard thinking this is Sarah's doing. 'You are not going to escape from me', I shouted as I turned the corner and came to a halt. It took me a moment to notice what I'm seeing.
'What?', words failed me when I saw Raphael standing in a tuxedo in what appears to be a wedding chapel. Remember the marriage scene in the Breaking Dawn movie? Well, this looks like that, only less crowded and no blood drinkers. Also, where the heroine looked beautiful and slim, I looked like a bloated whale with a ruffled dress and red eyes from all the crying I have done.
Gosh! He never learns, does he?