Lothaire's face is a blank mask as he faces her. He thought he had time before revealing his secret. Instead, he got blindsided.
"Say something." The sound had been pulled into the vacuum. She could hear a faint buzz ringing in her ears, similar to the moment before a volcano erupts.
"Answer me," Willow whispered. A chill of apprehension slid down her spine.
Lothaire remained stoic. A muscle ticking in his jaw. What could he say that doesn't make him sound like a manipulative bastard? Though he is exactly that.
"Is it the truth? Are you... are you the vampire king?" Her eyes pleaded silently to him to prove her wrong. To make it all go away. She wanted to close her eyes like a child and pretend that everything was fine. Alas, if only it is that simple.
"Willow. You don't know the half of it," Lothaire tried to take a step. Though explaining himself to others is not in his nature, he tried, for her.
"Stay where you are. Don't come any closer. And whose fault is that?" Willow asked, her teeth clenching. Emotions see-sawed inside her. Anger, frustration, disbelief warred within, confusing her.
Willow swallowed, making her dry throat work.
"Are you the vampire king? Yes. Or no Bones. It is that simple," she asked, her eyes pinning him to his place, sharp and spitting fire.
"It's not that simple Willow," Lothaire said each word with difficulty. Admitting to her without any words. Her face blanched, turning pale at his news.
She felt like the silence they were engulfed in, the bubble that set them apart from the noises of the world, popped suddenly. As if a dangerous cyclone swept through them and scattered everything.
Willow staggered on her feet, her legs shaky struggling to support her. She could have sworn that someone punched hard where her heart would be. As if they held it in their hands and ripped it out of her.
Lothaire tried to come closer but she screamed, "I said stay where you are. Don't... don't you dare come near me or else I'm going to stab you," she said vehemently, composing herself. Now she is the one with the mask. She blanked everything from her mind, locking her emotions inside the deepest part of her mind.
"Willow. Hear me. It's not what you think," Lothaire pleaded, his tone urgent. He knew he was losing her like quicksand from his fist. He can sense it. Yet unable to prevent it. Frustrated, his fingers grazed his hair.
Willow wet her dry lips. "Memory loss... is that a lie too?"
"No"
"How much do you remember?"
Lothaire clenched his jaw, not answering. What can he say? Will she believe him? But before he can open his mouth, she continued,
"Well enough to remember your identity I suppose. Yet you concealed it from me. Is... is everything a lie, vampire? Everything that happened between us... a trick to entertain yourself? Was this a trap to capture me, to toy with me?"
"You know about me. Would I do that?" Lothaire questioned, hurt.
"No!!!! I don't know a fucking thing about you. Not one single thing. Don't you dare say anything more? I was so naive to trust you. To give you a chance. God, what a fool I was! And you played your character so well that I didn't doubt for a second.," her voice shook at the end, threatening to display her despair.
"Stop it willow. That's not how it is and you know it. You are not thinking clearly," Lothaire lifted his hand to touch her.
She stepped back. "Don't you fucking dare touch me. I swear I will kill you. You... you disgust me. I wish I never met you, you murderer!!!" Willow screamed.
Yes. He is a murderer. If he is the vampire king then he is the one who killed her parents, Willow thought. That's the core of her hurt.
"Then do your worst to me but hear me out," he spat the words as everything he built with her came toppling down.
"You had your chance and you blew it," Willow said with finality.
"So, what now? Are you going to kill me?"
Willow's hands tingled to do just that. To stab in his traitorous heart and be done with it. Yet, on the other hand, she couldn't believe that he could betray her.
Willow took out her dagger just to see what he would do.
Lothaire stood still, clenching his fists, not moving a muscle even though he wanted to grab her by her arms and shake some sense into her.
With an anguish-filled scream, she brought down the dagger, just stopping a hairbreadth away from his neck. Even then the tip cut his skin slightly, blood readily trickling from the wound.
Lothaire hissed in pain. Willow looked into the eyes of her betrayer. How could he do this? They had a pact, a bond. Or so she thought.
Lothaire met her eyes without flinching, letting her see his honesty. Alas, Willow is in no state of mind to interpret it.
Her facade shattered. The walls she built so assiduously around her emotions to stay remote these 7 years crumbled to dust at her feet. She is that frightened 16-year-old again, who cries, who feels; alone and lost, raging with herself and so gullible. Willow has done so much to suppress that side of her. Yet with just a few words, he shattered her world making her feel like the lost girl she once was.
Pain tore inside her anew. She can't think straight. Everything is blurring. Her past and present collided. Her vision is clouding. She is losing focus. She will be damned if she makes herself vulnerable to HIM again.
She needs to get away from him. And fast. With great force, she turned and ran into the forest that spread beside the building.
Lothaire gave a shout. "Willow!! Stop!!" He ran behind her, wanting not to miss her. He can't lose her.
"Willow!!!" He shouted.
Unfortunately, he is no match for her wits. Because the forest is her playground. Her area of expertise. Willow dug deep inside her. Taking everything to gather what is left of her power within her, scraping it from the bottom and with pure determination she grew a hollow tree around her, big enough for her to fit in, leaving a gap in the top for her to breathe in.
The leaves and the fruits concealed her smell as Lothaire ran past it, searching in every direction for her.
"Willow!!!!" He screamed over the top of his lungs; anguish evident in his voice.
But it is nothing to the pain she is feeling inside her. She felt like her heart was being torn with sharp claws that dig inside her. This... this is the reason why she stayed far away from emotions, feelings. She wants nothing to do with them ever again.
How could everything go so wrong in so little time? She thought she had it all figured out, everything crystal clear. Oh, how wrong she is!!
Her mind tried to contemplate, running a mile a minute to scan for any clues, evidence that she might have missed hinted at him being the king. But she could find none.
She then remembered his unnatural stillness when she said about killing the vampire king.
"Would you have stayed with me if I regained my memory?"
How could she have missed it? He should have known his identity. Find out somehow. Yet he concealed it from her.
She has sworn to kill her parents' murderer and when faced with him she didn't do it. She couldn't do it. Because it is HIM.
"Oh god!!!" Willow whispered, her legs giving out, she fell unceremoniously to the ground.
Her motive, her purpose has been ruthlessly snatched from her. She feels like her soul has been ripped apart, leaving only a shell behind. His betrayal hit her hard to her very core. Despair washed over her. She is at a loss for words, darkness threatening to engulf her whole.
"Why??? Why???" Willow rocked on her heels; her arms wrapped around her legs.
Lothaire searched for her in the woods, uncaring that his skin started to itch from the heat as the sun slowly shifted from mid-morning to hot afternoon to warm evening.
He didn't sleep a wink. His eyes dry yet tormented. He hadn't understood the significance of her until he lost her. Without his knowing, she has crept inside his heart and left a hole as she ran away,
He ran doing circles in the same area he last saw her, bellowing her name. If he would have been a normal human being, his voice would have been turned hoarse by now.
His voice is also not far away from turning hoarse. But he has to continue his search. To find her, to make her listen to what he has to say. She has to give him a chance to explain. She can't condemn him like this.
"I know you are still here Willow. I will find you. You can't hide from me forever. You have to listen to me," Lothaire bellowed as he ran.
A scratching noise made him turn his head. He raised his nose, sniffing for a hint of her smell. It is confusing with all the smells this forest contains. Undeterred, Lothaire concentrated until he could smell a faint whiff of her scent from the north.
He swiftly took off, his legs flying like air over the ground, his eyes zeroed in the direction.
He stopped and repeated it two more times until he was sure she was near. Very near if his guess is correct.
"Willow," he whispered.
His ears twitched, trying to hear the slightest disturbance in nature.
"Come back to me. Let me explain. You can't do this to me. To us. Give me a chance Tinkerbell"
This time he is sure he heard a sniffle.
He laid his hands on the bark of the tree.
"Are you in there Tinkerbell?" Lothaire asked his palm warmly on the tree.
If he wanted, he could rip this bark, the only thing that is standing between him and her. But he has done enough damage. He wants her to trust him. To listen to what he has to say.
And if by that, he has to stay standing, pleading on the other side of this, then so be it. Because she is worth it.
Willow huddled in the dark listening to his pleading. Hearing his plea, made her boil with anger. Rather than wallow in self-pity, she opted for the rage that zapped through her.
"How dare he?" Willow muttered.
How dare he come here knowing... knowing she is in pain because of him! He is taunting her now?
Willow clenched her fist as anger mounted within her. She shouldn't have left him. No. She should have killed him just as she vowed.
Then... then he would know what happens to those who play with her. She is not the prey. No. She is the hunter. An assassin. It's high time he tasted the tip of her blade. She will show him. Yes. And this time her blade won't miss the mark.