I gathered up all my emotions and pretended like I wanted to cry.
“W-we were just playing hide and seek but when I looked for them, Tristan was the first one I found.” I made up. My two brothers who was holding my hands let me go and gave way to Brother Amo to calm me.
Brother Maximo is smart so I did not know if he already found out that I was lying or saying the truth.
They totally fell to my words and I could see the parents’ eyes darted their sons and daughters with disappointment and disdain look.
“My poor sister.” I heard Maxwell mumbled. When I glanced at Lein, I saw how he was having a hard time to cope up. I thought he could easily get me after he shut himself. But it was still better for him to only listen to what lies I would say.
He might say unnecessary words if he opened his mouth.
“Tristan cannot accept the fact that he was the tagger so he called for his maid to act upon his command. The servants brought by them came at once. T-Tristan’s servant pushed me and they did nothing but to watch us!” I confessed like it really happened.
“Their maids and the other children laughed at me.” I cried.
“Lies! Tristan! Tell us why you screamed!” Countess Gringe did not give up to make her son look innocent but the boy did not listen. The maids involved could not do anything but to bow their heads because it was really true that they laughed at us.
“Sandra, you tell us too!” one of the mothers forced her daughter to confess and even hit her with a fan on the shoulder.
“W-what she said was t-true. She is not lying, Moth-er. T-Tristan screamed b-because h-he was too ma-d at h-her.” She seconded me stuttering, not daring to look at anyone in the eye.
She was trembling, moreover, we were all looking at her. I felt like she wanted to sink on where she was standing because of embarrasment.
“Oh, see. That was it-“ Duke Gabriela’s words of relief were cut by the fuming mad Count.
“Tristan!” the Count did not want to believe.
We only hearadg a low whisper, “Sorry.” From Tristan that made his parents fell in frustration.
“This b*stard son!” Count Gringe said in a low but gritted teeth. He looks like controlling his patience not to hurt his son right now.
The Countess finally gave me a vulgar ominous look, determined to push the blame to us.
What did I even expect, Countess Gringe had an ill attitude to any nobles she dislikes. She did not have good reputation in High Society for always picking a fight even to those higher than her.
The reason they could not banish her from High Society was because the Queen Regent was backing her and no one was not aware of that but the Queen Regent would soon spit her out because her attitude towards everyone was a threat to the position of the Queen.
“Lies, lies! You have the gut to blame my kind son! If I know, you just envy these children because you do not have a mother like them! Oh, sorry, I slipped. You do not even have your mother to guide you, no wonder you are like that! You are also the reason why your mother died anyway!” she snickered, mocking my birth.
My breath hitched and my eyes widened while looking at her.
“Countess!”
“Georgia!”
Her husband and other adults stopped her but she did not let them.
I was defeaned by what she said and I could not hear anything but her words inside my mind that kept repeating like a broken stereo.
I felt like I was slapped by an invisible palm that woke me up to the reality. I felt cold and was frozen, trembling from the cold truth.
Right. I did not have a mother because I killed her first right after I was born. I killed the one who gave birth to me. I killed my mom. Did I even have the right to call her my ‘mother’?
I once heard the truth in the past when I was already a grown up. The impact to me that time when Sir Jetarom told me was great that I could not focused for a whole week and cried on those week’s nights.
But this was different from the past. It was more painful that I could not breathe. Of course, she just did not die because of giving birth to someone.
She died because of me.
I suddenly felt dizzy that I staggered from where I was standing. I covered my face frighteningly while my other hand clenched on my skirt tightly while my whole body was trembling.
I was trying to strenghthen my balance but I felt like I want to drop right now.
“U-uhm, Countess. C-calm down.”
“Georgia, apologize to the children right this instant!”
“Why would I?! I am right, right?! I do not have anything to apologize!”
“Watch what you say, Countess.”
“Your Grace, the children are still here.”
“Relax, everyone.”
It was not me who was affected but also my brothers and father but they were not affected the same way I do.
They were arguing but I could not understand what they were saying because my mind was clouded with my mother’s death.
Did I still have the right to live? What have father thought when his wife died infront of him because of me? How about my brothers?
Of course, they would hate me, right? Maybe the real reason why they were so cold to me in the past was because of the Late Duchess’ death.
That was because of me.
This was the only time someone said this thing to me.
Even in the past, no one dared to talk about my birth and the death of my mother so this was really the first time I wondered. This was the first time I first thought about the incident.
But I never know it was all because of me not until Sir Jetarom slipped his tongue and told me about it after forcing him.
Was that really the reason father and brothers were cold and distant to me in the past? They spared my life but ignoring me was their consequence for me?
No. They should not have let me live anymore. They should have killed me instead.
Life for a life.
I always questioned myself in the past for them behaving like that infront of me. I always hoped for their attention. I always hoped for their affection but the truth was, I have no right to demand their love and affection in the first place.
I did not even have the right to stand beside them, let alone live nor carry the Zachrono name.
Being cold and distant from me was their way showing too much generousity from them even letting me live, stand beside them and have the family’s Zachrono name and yet, I tainted the good name lent to me by being prideful and mighty.
I felt like my mind was flicked when someone groped my shoulder.
My hearing became clear and when I glanced at my back, I saw Brother Millian who put his hand on my shoulder.
His eyes were not as sharp as when looking at me so I immediately knew he was somehow worried about me because of what the Countess had said.
“You okay?” he asked worriedly with the same cold voice. I tried to open my mouth but I felt like my throat dried up.
“You are tembling too much.” He also put his other hand on my other shoulder. That was when I noticed that I was really trembling. My eyes fell on the floor as if my body also want to drop due to my weakening knees.
“I will not let this pass.” I heard Dad said coldly before Brother Millian carried me up on his arms and hugged me. I slipped my hands on his neck as I buried my face in his shoulder. I felt him tapping my back as we moved out of the place.