Chapter 34

Anya
I enter the tent with the corners of my cheeks pulled up to a smile, and it just stays there like there’s a pin that holds them in place. This night started with conflict but I am so glad that it did not stay that way. The corny jokes from Sadie got me through the night. 
After I fix my sleeping bag, I just lay down for a while and smile at the roof of the tent as if they’re the stars or Sadie’s jokes. Or Sadie’s cute face. I push away the thoughts. Please don’t do that, I told myself. Though I hate to admit that her face did make me smile. I look to my side, where Sadie might sleep beside me… I can feel my cheeks warm. 
Maybe I need to stop now.
I sit up slowly when I realize that Sadie probably doesn't have a sleeping bag with her. All she has is a dark blue messenger bag. 
I pop my head out, “Hey Sadie!” I caught her on the edge of the cliff. When she turns around, her eyes widen and her mouth opens like I caught her doing crimes. Though I did not mind it that much. “You don’t have anything to lay on do you?”
“Yeah but that’s fine!” she shouts back. “I…Don’t need it.”
“Silly! I can give you mine so I can prove that I am not a princess!”
“If you have to try to prove you are not a princess, then you’re guilty that you are one.”
“I hate you~!” I hear her chuckle as I pop my head back in. I go straight to my camping bag and check if I still had my extra one, and gladly I did. I pulled out other stuff I have in there like the marshmallows and chocolate bars, a first aid box, and bags that contain other necessities and I found the extra sleeping bag at the very bottom of the bag. “Bingo!”
Sadie
I look down at my final destination--below this cliff. I took a deep breath. Why am I afraid? I am probably the most useless suicidal person to ever live. One jump, and I won’t feel a thing. Because I’ll die right away.  
“Hey!” I look behind me again where Anya is, her head popped out of the tent. “I already found a sleeping bag for you!”
“I said I don’t need it~!”
“Just be thankful~!”
“Seriously you don’t need to do that~” ‘Cause I’m not gonna be by your side anymore…
“No seriously you should just thank me. This sleeping bag is no ordinary sleeping bag—It comes from the royalties~!”
“So you admit you’re a princess now huh?”
“Argh! I hate you~” I let out a chuckle while Anya just pouts. “It’s better if you just shut up and watch the stars.” She said before she went back inside the tent. Though she shouts you’re welcome! Shortly after. I chuckle again.
Thank you Anya for making this night a bit fun for me, but that just makes it harder to have the courage to do what I need to.
Anya
I went inside the tent with, again, a smile. This is one of the best nights I’ve ever had besides having concerts all over the world and meeting my lovely fans. I look behind me and I saw all of my stuff still out, piling on top of the others like a messy mountain. I take a deep breath before I approach my things. 
I need this, being away from things for a while. Don't get me wrong. I love my mom and I love my job but it’s so stressful how my mom barely has time for herself and can’t stop thinking about keeping me relevant to the media. I need to take time off things for a moment. Nothing but calmness and a bit of freedom. Finally, this camping trip does not have anything to do with my work. Not only that but I’m with a good friend, a company I enjoy and what I need at this moment. My heart starts pounding. Her smile, her voice, her words, her eyes...No Anya! Stop this nonsense!
I put all my belongings inside the bag neatly, so it won’t look as messy as it was when I pull them all out. I zip the camping bag up and turn to fix the extra sleeping bag. I want to put it close to mine so we could endlessly talk...Or stare at her some more. But I decided that’s too...I don't know. Weird. So I place them not too far but close enough to her bag. I look at where I lay my sleeping bag from where I put Sadie’s. I guess I could get a good enough view of her there…
Oh gosh, Anya, that’s so gross.
I just shake off the thought and decide to unroll the bag. As I do so, I stumble upon something. I look below me and near my right knee is Sadie’s notebook, slightly ajar. I took them and lay them on the side so I could straighten the sleeping bag. After that, I went back to my place, taking the notebook with me. It is a medium-sized hardbound notebook. It is coated in black but there are a few statements written in what seems like a cut-out white paper taped on the hardbound. Some words have exclamation points, question marks, swear words written in all uppercase, and other words like Shh!, Quiet! It’s Not a Phase, Hearts In Circles.
I know this is a private property I should not mess with nor touch but I grow so curious about what she puts here. It could be the songs she writes or her thoughts. I would love to know Sadie more.
I gently push the front cover away and a few pages trail along. The first page has her phone on it which is what stops the notebook from being closed shut. As I lift the phone, there is a group of numbers with pls watch. written below it. I don’t know what that meant. I clicked a button on the side of the phone and it lit up. The wallpaper is the logo of the Heart In Circle band and the time and date today. 12:01 am?! That’s how late it is?! It’s been a long time since I stayed up so late! When I swipe the screen, it shows six dots, and below it is the digits from one to zero. The dots have the same amount as the numbers on the front page. Should I try? No! I hear my conscience talk to me. I am already invading privacy there is no way I will do worse! I only wanna know Sadie’s words, not her personal life whatsoever. 
I put the phone down and grab the notebook instead. I flip through a few pages and I see a page full of lyric lines, but not a full song—I know because it was written on the very top of the pages in all caps. I read out some of my favorites out loud
I’m now looking at the ceiling
But I want to look at what’s behind it
The roof just feels so suffocating
They would ask me the scariest question: Are you okay?
If I want to live
I don't wanna live here
It’s filled with people filled with hate and fear
I turn the pages, there are full songs written on some pages, including Popcorn, there are some other extra song lines as well, unfinished songs, and some that are called THOUGHT FART where it’s just her saying random things like Skit idea: Dug dealers in a comedy bar. Idk it just sounds funny. And it made me giggle a bit.
I flick into pages after pages of words and I stopped when I saw IMAGINARY MISSION: BUILD A NEW WORLD by yours truly, Sadie Ozoa (STILL IN WORKS) written at the very top of the page. 
Below are, what I assume, are details or information about this “planet.” The PLANET NAME section is blank, SHAPE OF PLANET is “Earth shape, but smaller (to avoid being known)”, WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE has “Like Earth but more peaceful, more kind, more loving, fewer fights and judging, and so much worth living in.”, WHY THE NEW PLANET writes “For the least, lost, and last. For the weak and the outcast. For introverts. For every one that deserves better.”, Lastly, WHAT THE PLACE WOULD LOOK LIKE has a drawing of a planet almost identical to the Earth—light blue sea and green squiggle-shape islands that are small enough for one family to live in. Below it is smaller handwriting that reads: “although people unite here, they also need personal space like this.” I lift the leaf to the next page.
The back of that page is some kind of list, dashes beside the sentences. I read out the whole thing:
Things that should be in this world:
-LOTS OF STARS
-two moons 
-MOUNTAINS AND TREES AND EVERYTHING NATURE~
-BEAUTIFUL AND NOT DIRTY SEA~
-Lovely skies
-LAKES, RIVERS, EEEAAARRTTHH~~
-Never forget rainbows
RULES AND LAWS
-People should respect and accept one another for who they are
-NO CRIMES ALLOWED
-No hate allowed—if the hate is well deserved, it must be brought up to court for the second opinion
By not abiding by the law, you must receive a KICK OUT OF THE WORLD AND NEVER COME BACK! 
Then I turn to the next page,
WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED:
-ANYTHING THAT DESTROYS THE PLANET
-PEOPLE SPREADING HATRED
It’s that simple :)
PLACES ON PLANET EARTH THAT ARE SO PRETTY THEY SHOULD BE PUT IN SADIE’S WORLD:
-All the bookstores and music stores there is
-Sky Ranch
-Callao Cave
-Every art museum there is
-Barasoain Church
-The whole of Baguio city
This is one heck of a list, I thought to myself. She was really serious about making a new planet. I hate to think that if someone saw this, they'd probably make fun of her since children mostly do these types of things, but knowing who Sadie is and hearing about her new 'planet speech', I understand her and why this exists. More than that: I appreciate her. I start feeling myself smile again. She’s ambitious--as expected--but this? Oh, how I love the way her mind works. My fingers flips over blank pages after pages and as I was about to close the notebook, I saw another list again. It’s probably about the planet she’s making, I thought. But after reading the title, my smile dropped. WAYS TO KILL MYSELF. I want to stop myself from reading. Close this book now, Anya. You already knew enough. But I did not listen to that voice. 
Overdose, cutting, “kitchen sink”, “hang myself somewhere(?)”, are a few of the things that I’ve read. There are more on the list but I stopped reading when I reached an underlined one below the “hanging” part that says: Jump off a cliff (No audience and easier to do. Just jump!)
“I just wanna stay here for a while…I need some time alone..” Sadie’s words came back in my memory, how she said them so softly and her smile just dropped. When I called her out from the tent, she looked at me with wide eyes. She’s standing near the cliff…
Oh no. 
Sadie!
I hear myself whisper before I drop the book and crawl my way to the entrance.
Sadie!
I hear my mind say repeatedly as I struggle to open the tent. I curse to myself. I am mentally begging for the tent to open and for Sadie to have a mind-reading ability so she could hear me. When the zipper finally budges, I leap out of the tent
Sadie!
I’m glad I still see her silhouette standing by the cliff, her head down and her feet at the edge.
Sadie!
I start to walk, then suddenly I run. The voice that I lost finally comes back as I manage to shout: “SADIE! PLEASE DON’T DO THIS!”
She turns around and looks at me. We look into each other’s eyes as I inch closer but my eyes dart at her left foot taking a step back at nothing. “SADIE NO!”
But before I stop her, her eyes widen and her arms are both raised as I watch her body disappear down the cliff.
No.
“SADIE!”

Book Comment (113)

  • avatar
    Khayrun Deluko

    dfggffffff

    11d

      0
  • avatar
    PerlasJakeFrancisdale

    Okay well done

    09/09

      0
  • avatar
    SifourYassin

    hhh

    28/08

      0
  • View All

Related Chapters

Latest Chapters