I can't say Life has been going all as planned or all sweet, leveling up ones life is not a day job, you have to fall in love with the process and not focus on the destination, expecting to see yourself in your destination or viewing yourself at that level when you haven't taken half the amount of steps required will really be disastrous when it comes to ones mental health, all you have to do is fall in love with the journey and enjoy the process of your dreams, no one is going to do the work for you but they can possibly motivate you.
     I can testify that I am in a better physique now than that of last month, quiet muscular and balanced, I couldn't say that I lost some friends on my process of change, but yet I happened to lose one that was once closest. We still speak with each other, she finds me this days, but the conversation was all lost like we never spent a long time of our lives together, her topics are not one that I find interesting this days, but for old times sake, I still show her that we can stay friends just like she always wanted.
     “ Hello Ben..... How is it going with you lately?, Have been seeing a lot of changes around you for some time now ”.
She was all smiley, acting like we were in a smooth and sailing ship, if she feels like that, then that's better, I don't like seeing her always bitter but at least, she have seem to have learnt some lessons in the past few weeks, haven't seen her around running after Steve like before, she better start searching for those who wants her and not the other way round.
“ Yeah..... I noticed it too just like you and I love it just the way I see it ”.
She held my hand as we walked side by side, something that haven't happened since forever. She's smiling as we walk, acting like holding my hand wasn't a mystery to her at all. Okay, she's my friend either way, I guess she can hold my hand, there's no problem with that.
“ Had any plans for Prom yet?, Anyone you are going with this year?”.
I just turned my face, looking at her, I know this, I know this game, she's trying to play tricks here. Does she think that she is going to get back the front sit of my life after avoiding it all this years?. I should try staying in lane and not move ahead of myself, despite knowing where she's going with this, I have to give her the opportunity to finish whatever was on his mind.
“ I'm going with my girlfriend..... Rose ”.
There was a pause, I knew it and I know she knew too. She smiled after processing what I just said, looked at me again as if there was something she knew and was trying to hold it back. Curiosity is what I don't ever want to bother myself with, whatever she's smiling about and doesn't want to speak about it, she better keep holding it in, because I am never going to ask. We took a long step almost getting to the school gate before she speaks again.
“ I am not actually sure about this, but I thought she had something with Joe lately, they seem to have been hanging around lately in almost every part of the school..... The last time I saw her with him was near the school restroom, only both of them were standing outside the door, I don't actually........”.
“ Enough!.....”.
I interrupted her, stopped walking and stood my ground, she followed my move, stopping right in front of me to know why I stood back.
“ I don't know whatever it is that is going on in that mind of yours, but all I have to say is, stop trying to come across me and Rose with whatever move it is you have thought of......God!..... Deborah you really changed a lot, I never knew you as someone who acts desperate for people's attention or love, the Deborah I knew was always the one less concerned about me, using me as a friend all day long, maybe you were even using my attention sometimes trying to manipulate Steve..... That's how I see the picture now, let me tell you this, if you keep acting this way, I am definitely never going to talk with you ever again, because as I see it, you no longer offer me anything, so you either respect our friendship or you walk away, I don't care ”.
I walked past her and went on my way into the gate, such a waste of energy walking with her to school.