OLIVE
Nolan's words kept ringing in my hear. "She wants to leave. Let her go!!!". All I wanted was for him to tell me to stay back. I was ready to wait until he is ready to tell me why. I was ready to stand by him. I was ready to stay by his side but he told me to leave if I want to. He cared less about my feeling. I thought he loved me. I thought when he told me back then, I was his mate, he did that because he loves me. I thought things were going on we'll between us.
As I dragged my bag out of the gate, I hoped he would run after me and hold me back but instead, he stopped the rest from running after me. He stopped me from making me stay back. I had thought saying I was leaving will make him have a change of mind. If I wanted to leave, I would have left right away. I would not have let the rest know about my leaving. I won't have stayed back a bit, hoping when he finally shows up, he will tell me not to leave.
I walked a distance until a saw a bus station. I ordered an Uber and sat down to wait for its coming. While I sat down, my mind drifted to the time I had spent at the fire pack. Every day spent there was a day to remember. Their warm welcome is not something I can ever forget. What about the waterfall I visit with Bella on my second day there.
I could still remember how jealous Nolan was when he found out I went out on a date with someone. The look on his face when he found out he was just a business partner is something I can't forget about in a long time. What about the night we had our first date. The night he took me to different places including the mall. I had thought he had plans to travel and will never return.
Going to the cinema with him is something I had thought will happen soon but it seems I was wrong. That won't be happening anymore and even if it will, that won't be anytime soon. I placed my hand on my neck as I felt a sharp pain. I must have slept in the wrong position. I sighed. The fact that I had to stay all night hoping he would show up, but he never did. And the fact that I waited for him in my room but he never saw the importance of talking to me.
I have come to realize he never cared about me in the first place. He only sees me as his mate and when I rejected him, he seems to be happy. Or maybe he like the fact that I was in love with his ruthless self. I felt betrayed and I couldn't stop myself from crying. "Maybe if I cry it out I will feel better," I thought. "Maybe if I cry so hard, I will stop loving him. Maybe if..."
I tried to wipe off my tears but they kept streaming down. No amount of maybes was strong enough to justify the reason why I was crying. I just needed to cry not because it will help me feel better or because it will help me stop loving him. It was tears of sorrow, of pain, of disappointment. Tears of agony, tears of love. I couldn't stop loving and I kept giving myself so many reasons why he never showed up. I tried as much as I can to justify his action even though I felt hurt. I felt so stupid to have fallen in love with him this deep.
The horn from a car jolted me out of my thought. I raised my head to see the driver waving at me. "Miss, you call for an Uber?" he asked.
I nodded. "I-i did"
He smiled and I felt a bit of relief. "I will take your bag," he said and walked closer to me. "H-have you been crying?"
I smiled wearily. "Crying?. No, I haven't been crying"
"But your eyes are puffy"
"Yeah. An insect must have entered my eyes or something. But I am fine"
He stared at me suspiciously but I smiled at him to make him believe me. He sighed. "Are you sure?". I nodded and he shrugged. "Ok. I believe you. Follow me"
He dragged my bag to the booth but opened the door for me before going back to put the bag into the booth. As I sat down, I wondered if it is difficult for Nolan to be this nice. What could be his reason for being this cold-hearted?. Why does he decide to have two identities?. A gentle one in the morning and a ruthless one at night. As much as I tried to understand why he did all that, I couldn't lay my hands on any.
The car began to move, and I rested myself on the car seat. And then closed my eyes to have a short nap.
**
"Ma'am. Ma'am" the driver called. I opened my eyes slowly. "We are at the mountain pack"
I sat up and smiled. "Thanks"
"I already brought out your bag," he said
I nodded and opened my purse to give him his pay. After giving him, I stepped out and held my bag. "Thanks" I muttered
He bowed. "You're welcome, Miss. I will get going. You should take care of yourself, ok?"
I nodded. "Ok". I waved at him and waited until his car was out of sight before dragging my bag with me. As I entered the gate, I realized I haven't come up with a good reason to tell my parent why I had to leave the fire pack.
I scratched my hair, wondering what would be best to say. There was no way I was going to tell my dad, Nolan is the ruthless alpha. I can't tell my mom either. Though I am so angry with him, I still respect his privacy. I still have the feeling he hid his identity for a reason and just like Nigel had said, the last time we talked, Nolan is keeping it a secret because he wants to keep us safe.
I knew I need to think of something different. I can't tell them we fought, especially when my dad already knows he is my mate. My mom will be so furious if she finds out I left the pack because we fought. She will sit me down and begin her sermons on how I should learn to forgive. She will tell me that pack is going to be my future pack. And I need to learn to tolerate. She will give me so many reasons why I need to go back. I wasn't ready to go back yet. I will see if he will show up or not.
I decided to tell my parents I missed them and have decided to stay with them for a few days. I should be able to come up with a plan within those few days or he might even show up soon enough. After coming up with this great idea, I headed home.
Mom was the only one in the house when I entered. Except for the maids who had stared at me suspiciously when I entered the packhouse, mom believe every word I said. She told me she misses me too and would have visited me but my dad wouldn't let her. I was happy she bought my lies without asking further questions.
When my dad came home, and I told him my reason for coming back to the pack, he only nodded. And though I could tell he doubted my reason, he said no words. Every other thing seems normal except for the fact that I miss Bella and Ella. I miss the fire pack as a whole. I miss Duncan and Nigel too. And though I do not want to accept the fact that I miss Nolan too, I miss him more than I miss every other person.
**
I had been waiting for a call from Nolan. Just a call or even a text but none came. Every time, I was always with my phone hoping he would call me or send me a message. My mom noticed how much I stared at my phone. But she respected that I don't want to share cause she never asked questions. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours. Hours to a day and a day to days.
I spend most of my time in my room, crying my eyes out. I kept checking my phone. As the days go by, I realized he doesn't care about me. He never cared about me. I had been the one who cared so much about him. I had been the one who loved him. I wished I could stop loving him but I couldn't. I wished I could take my mind off him and move on. I wished...
All I wanted was just to see his face. To know if he cares about me or not. All I wanted was proof that he loves me. I wasn't bothered that he is the ruthless alpha as well as the Nolan I know. I do not care if he lied to me. All I wanted was for him to love me. For him to care about me but I guess I am wrong. He doesn't care!!!.