"St..op", I can't count the number of times I said that word as he has unbuttoned my shirt and he is trying to go further. I don't know why I feel so weak, as my brain is almost shutting down, my stomach feels like it is being tightened.
Oh God, please help me, I said inwardly
I felt him stop, as he moved away from me. I opened my eyes as his face was darted in another direction. I quickly buttoned up my shirt, as I hurriedly went out of his room. I never minded how heavy it was raining, he almost raped me.
Hugging my body, I kept running as tears kept running down my face. The street was becoming desolate as cars were few. My body started shivering as I continued walking and running at the same time.
My body was wet as I kept going, not looking behind. My eyes felt blurry as I was almost reaching my hostel. Breathing in and out relentlessly, I kept going. I can do this, I kept telling myself.
The cold breeze was not helping me as my body was trembling, as I breathed through my mouth and nose. I felt as if a load was on me as I walked frantically to my hostel since I could not get a cab.
'I will never forgive you for this Joseph. For trying to force yourself on me.' I felt myself mumbling those words.
I gasped as I made my way through the staircase to my apartment. I searched for the keys in my wet back, as I could feel my legs almost turning into jelly.
Forcing my right hand with my left hand, I opened the door as I staggered. I moved towards the bedside as my body gave up. I slumped, my eyes forcing themselves to close.
**********
I almost sprang out of bed, as I had a dream of Joseph forcing himself on me. I groaned in pain, as a headache hit me making me notice myself on my bed.
'How is that possible? I was soaked wet because of the rain", I mumbled trying to remember what happened. I fainted immediately after I got home.
I looked under my blanket realizing I was in new wear, the one Joseph gave to me the day we both went to his house. I hissed at my thoughts remembering how he almost raped me. The fact that I dreamt of him doing the act again gave me goosebumps.
I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I concluded I must have been shocked by Joseph's sudden act. He tried to rape me, but stopped later on, which I am grateful for.
I won't be on a happy note if he went along fulfilling his sexual desires. I hissed again as my head hurt, as I rested my head on the rim of the bed. I am grateful to the person that helped me. Maybe it was Chris, I thought, a smile creeping on my face as I looked upward staring at the ceiling.
I glanced slightly to the right, noticing a wristwatch as I reached for it. My face wore a shocked expression as I noticed it was 9 am in pain came again forcing me to lean back on the bed.
I can't believe I fainted yesterday afternoon\evening to wake up this morning. I felt my stomach growls, as I felt hungry. Using my strength I tried to move to prepare food for myself.
My stomach hurt as I leaned back, as I tried to think of another plan. I felt the creaking sound of the kitchen door which made me look in the direction as the person came out.
" You are awake", the voice said, making me flinch back, even with the sharp pain piercing through my head.
He moved closer with a tray which has foods in plastics that are covered.
"What are you doing here? Get out of here", I bellowed, hissing as I facepalmed myself.
" I will get out, but you have to eat and take your drugs. You are sick and stressed out", Joseph commented, as I felt angrier.
For a split second, I wished I had enough strength to chase him out of here.
"I said get out before I scream for the neighbors to hear", I said, raising my head as a hint of disappointment flashed through his eyes.
He stood up as he moved a small table, placing the tray of food on the table. He moved closer to me, making my heartbeat again as he did the unexpected.
He kneeled as he held my two hands.
", I'm sorry I tried to force myself on you. I could not control myself and I thought you had a thing for me", he revealed the last part of his words making me cringe.
" I know you probably hate me but I hope you can at least eat the food I prepared", he emphasized, still in his kneeling position.

I was moved a little but I do not want to make it obvious. He forced me and even when I was struggling and pleading to stop him, he did not want to stop. I know I am attracted to him, but I can never give in to temporary fun engaging in sexual conduct with him.
"So that I can eat poison, and you can then lie down with me right?", I asked, trying to fuel up the anger in me.
"No, I never added something to it. The part where I tried to force you is somehow complicated. And if I wanted to have sex with you, yesterday evening would have been the opportunity to do so", Joseph explained, making my head go blank, at the realization.
He was the one that changed my clothes", I thought, as my face flushed with embarrassment.
" I never tried to do anything. I know you might not forgive me but try to recover soon and that involves eating as well", he said.
"Please stand. Whatever your explanation is, you should have been more controlled. You gave me the biggest shock of my life. I have forgiven you and I hope you maintain the physical distance between us", I voiced out as his face shows that of a complicated figure.
He stood up mouthing a 'thank you as he handed me the tray containing the food.
" Eat up or the food will go cold", he said, as my stomach growled.
Should I trust him with the food? If he wanted to do something to me, he would have done it yesterday right?

I placed the tray on my lap as he sat on the chair looking at me. I opened the food as the aroma of the well-cooked stew embraced my nostril. I picked the spoon as I dug into the food.
I finished eating the food as I drank some water and used some drugs which contained a pain reliever and a malaria drug. According to Joseph, he brought a test kit as I was heating up yesterday and he tested me which revealed I had malaria.
He took the tray to the kitchen, as I looked at the side looking at the mirror which was hanging on the wall. I looked intently at it as the image of yesterday flashed through my eyes, causing me to dart my eyes in another direction, as tears pricked my face, which I cleaned immediately.
Joseph came back as he stood by the bed, his eyes on me.
", Thanks for the care. Just as I have said earlier, I think it will be for the best for me not to tutor you again. We can still be friends, but…", I found myself saying those words even though they were a little bit meaningless in them.
His eyes twitched with sadness making me feel my heart racing. I am attracted to andhehmaybeses too. I hope he understands", I thought.
" Before leaving, I have a confession to make", he deadpanned, as I looked at him my heart almost leaped.
Not again.