As I leaned against the door, I could feel my head almost spinning. I felt my body ache as my mind went back to what Joseph revealed. He wanted to have me on video, how ridiculous. He saw me as a tool he can use and dump.
Cleaning the tears off my face, I stood up as I slept on the bed. He is not worth it. He is the most disgusting fellow I have ever seen. I curse the day I got attracted to him. I just hope he gets off my life.
****
The whole week was more like singing a lullaby to me, boring and stressful. Joseph kept begging me but I never yielded. He looks lean, his eyes more like he has cried his sockets out. I don't think he deserves to be listened to. I still find it difficult to think straight knowing he wanted to have sex with me and also have me on video, just to win a bet.
These days, I have been lonely as I avoided my friends too as I needed some space. Walking alone has been my thing now and spending most of my time in the campus garden has been my thing.
I felt a hand drag me as I gasped at the force the person used.
"What the hell?", I almost screamed, as my eyes met with him.
" Why are you doing this to me?"Joseph asked, holding my wrist firmly, as I could hardly move my hands.
His eyes were almost red as his eyebrows darted in different directions. His lips are dry, as I felt a hint of pity for him. The feeling is new to him, as he is finding it difficult to control.
"What? You caused all of this yourself. Just leave me and go your way," I whispered trying to avoid his gaze as my heartbeat seems to be moving fast.

He left my two hands as he held just one of them, softly this time.
"I'm sorry. I will keep apologizing until you accept me as your friend again. Please forgive me. I was stupid not to look at the consequence. I can hardly sleep, as my mind is constantly filled with the moments we shared. You have a wonderful heart that looks out for others. I made a terrible mistake by accepting the bet. You are a nice person and I believe you can help me out", he explained, his eyes on me
I pulled his hands away from mine.
" Whatever goes around comes around. You are attracted to me. Deal with it", I stated as I began to leave him.
"I have a video of both of us", he started, his voice sorrowful yet convincing, as I stopped on my track.
" The day I tried to force myself on you. Everything is on my phone. I just need to edit some things and make your face more obvious", he explained as I felt my body heat up, my heart rising again.
Turning to face him, I looked at him as he avoided my gaze.
"What do you want?", I asked as I felt his eyes shone with a bit of happiness.
" I am deeply attracted to you. I want us to be more than friends. I will try to do something about the bet. I hope you accept this. Not only will we be dating, but we will also be satisfying our sexual urges", he requested as I felt a bitter taste in my tongue.
He is kidding, right? He is quite bold. One thing I have learned about this life is doing the right thing. The right thing from my point of view was not giving in to my feeling towards the same sex. I am never going to get into an amorous relationship with Joseph. I might be attracted to him but will never date him.
If he shows the video to others, my relationship with others might be tàinted, but I will have a clean conscience before God and man. A
clean conscience knowing I never gave in to my sexual urges.
"No, I am not accepting any of your conditions. You are free to upload the video. Time will tell, the truth will be out one day", I said, feeling a sense of confidence and calmness within me.
" Are you not afraid? You are so popular with your goody-good attributes. What do you think others will say if they figured out you are gay and someone is lying on top of you?", he asked, rather menacingly.
"I am not gay. Not until I have sexual relations with the same sex, I have a clean conscience. I might be attracted to the same sex but not give in to the sexual cravings. All the best with the video uploading. Remember that the consequences will be great", I reminded him as I left him.
I still find it difficult to believe he wanted to upload a video I never knew he must have taken. I felt a flash of how he forced himself on me as I felt my body tremble.
Finding solitude at the school garden, I kept humming to some songs trying to take my mind off Joseph.
"Are you okay?", I turned only to see Chris, a tear slipped down my face, as I stood up to hug him.
" I miss you", I stated, my voice almost breaking.
"Let us go somewhere better", he said as we both broke out of the hug.
" Where is this place?", I could not help but ask Chris as he closed the back door.
"This restaurant is where I work and this beautiful scenery you are seeing in the back area of this place.
" Wow. I never knew there can be somewhere here in Lagos that can be this beautiful. It looks great", I started staring at the landscape filled with flowers and neatly cut shrubs and grasses.
The place looks like a paradise and for some moments, I breathe in that fresh air giving me a great sense of happiness. I love nature and just seeing things like this makes me feel great.
The only sounds I could hear was that of the river flowing by the other side of the garden. Even though the restaurant was close to the road, it is quite big making the garden at the far rear.
"Thanks for bringing me here. I feel so fascinated and a little bit calm", I said as we sat down under a short tree whose canopy guided us from the little ray of sunlight.
" It is okay. Glad you liked it. I am sorry for not being there", he said as I shook my head.
"No, you are not at fault. I am the real cause of all this in the first place. It was because of me you had a thing for the same-sex now", I interjected, trying to make him feel less guilty.

He chuckled.
"That is why you are a good person. Always trying to put the interest of others above yours. Joy informed me about your strange behavior, so I had to come by. I hope nothing bad happened", he said, his gaze on me as I felt a sharp pain in my head.
I can't seem to get the image of Joseph forcing himself on me in my head. It feels so strange and frightening to me. The fact that he even threatened to post a video of him forcing himself on me on the school page gives me chills especially when I know he would find a way to edit his face without anyone knowing it was him.
Looking at Chris, it took me my inner self to open my mouth. I need to tell him everything. A problem shared is half solved. For now, my body feels so different, with different thoughts racing down my mind.
I told Christopher everything about Joseph. How he was my 6th attraction cousin till the flirty tune he used sometimes down to the time he tried to force himself on me. Even though I felt a change in the look of Chris when I explained that part, I tried my best to avoid breaking down again till I said the whole thing that transpired between Joseph and me, even what happened that very day.
"I'm so sorry to hear that. One thing you should try to do is to avoid thinking about how he tried to sleep with you. If you do, you might find it difficult to forgive him and also move on", Chris said, as I cleaned the formed tears off my eyes.
"I don't think he deserves my forgiveness. He should deal with the new feeling in his hormones", I deadpanned as Chris heaved a sigh.
Holding my hands, he looked at me.
"The Michael I knew helps others even when the other person is unappreciative or even a bad person. Joseph tried to force himself on you but stopped because he felt he had something for you.
He later revealed that he was expected to get a sex video of you with him, but due to his discovery of his feelings for you, he stopped", Chris analyzed as I turned my eyes away feeling guilty.
Feeling guilty because I might have been the real cause of the problem on ground
" He kept begging you to forgive him or better still give him a chance to explain himself. He feels so angry and almost useless fighting the sexual urges that came with the new feeling he developed for you. He tried to threaten you so that you can at least be submissive and reason in his point of view. This whole thing is clear", Chris analyzed, as I raised my head.
"What do you mean? I should forgive him and perhaps start dating him. That is ridiculous", I stated as he held my shoulders brushing them softly as I began to calm down.
I have never been so stressed out of my life but Joseph brought out that devil self in me.
"You need to calm down and reason this out. Joseph wanted you to date him because he feels it will help him get rid of the liking he has for you. You know the right thing, and that is not getting into such a relationship.", He stated, as I tried to reason along with him.
"Try to accept him only as a friend. You can try to help him control those sexual urges. It all seems new to him, making him want to go overboard in an attempt to always be with you. These are my thoughts and I hope you think about it", Chris confessed giving me a clearer view.
That night, I went into a deeper understanding. Chris refused to come back yet as he still has some other things to attend to. Joséph might be guilty but not helping him gain control over his blooming feelings will not help. I need to make him realize that he can control his feelings and not give in to them.
The knock from the door startled me as I made my way to open the door even though it was 10 pm which made me wonder who was at the door. I opened the door as my mouth dropped in awe.

"Jo..s..eph", I stuttered