It has been over three weeks with Phil. It has not been an easy one, especially with asking for forgiveness from those he had greatly hurt or done something bad to. So happy that the five people we went to forgave him, tho it took time.
It was not easy. Some took days before they forgave Phil. That of Senior Joy and Kevin took a day but the others were like hard nuts to crack. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, but letting go of the hurt. That is obvious from those set of people Phil offended.
*****
I could not help but beam with a smile as I covered the lid of the cooler container containing the melon soup. I packed it in a small bag, alongside some wraps of pounded yam.
Getting outside the kitchen only to meet Chris glancing at me.
"Ahem, why the stare?", I asked, trying to act calmly without giving away my real mood.
" Why do I feel you are guilty of something?", Chris asked, munching on the last chunk of apple in his hand, as he moved closer to me.
"What do you mean guilty? I have a clean conscience before God and man", I teased realizing where he might be coming from.
He held my hands taking the bag from my hand as he gently put it on the table. We sat on the bed, gaze lingering making the atmosphere cold and quiet.
" You seem happy this day. Is there a medicine you invented to make one happy? I will like to order up", Chris commented, his eyes peeking with a serious look.
"Urm, okay, stop looking at me like that. I have a secret", I said pausing for a while to see his reaction.
" Ok, shoot. I love secrets", he replied.
"I think I like Phil. I'm beginning to feel those sensations again", I explained as Chris looked at me.
" You think or you like him? How do you feel?", Chris asked?
"I like him. I like his mature sense, walking, the way he smiles, and his face.No matter how angry, stressed up, or lively he is, he looks cute to me. But I feel my body telling me to get over it before it is too late. I sometimes have a bad feeling whenever I think of Phil. I feel as if something bad might happen", I explained as he nudged me in the shoulder drawing me closer.
" Hey, nothing bad will happen. Maybe it is the right time to do something about your feelings", Chris announced as I squinted my eyes trying to grasp what he is trying to say.
"Is there a way to get rid of it faster? Even tho I feel happy having this feeling, a larger part of me wants to be free from it. I feel weird knowing that I might make a mistake one day. A mistake of giving in to that feeling", my voice was beginning to crack as Chris held my hands, giving it a light squeeze, as I tried to calm down.
" Maybe you should try something different. Give in to your feelings for the same sex", he paused, making me flinch at his choice of words.
Does Chris have some alter personalities now? My face puckered, as I raised my eyebrows lightly.
"Chris", I called not sure of what else to say.
" See. I am trying to help you out here. I can see how agonizing it is for you to control those feelings of yours. Phil is a good person who deserves you. He likes you. He is just waiting for the right time to tell you.", Chris counseled and my mind went blank for some seconds.
"I cant. I will rather wait till I pass my bloom of youth. I just have a bad aura somehow. I know you are trying to help me out somehow and I appreciate it, but committing homosexual acts is not something I want to go for. Not only will I have my conscience striking me, but I also feel it is a grave sin", I rambled, my head beginning to spin.
" You are worried about your conscience, family, and society, right? You and Phil can be in a relationship without anyone knowing. You can travel to countries where gay life is accepted, then work things out. I am just worried about you. Think about it", Chris stated, patting my head slightly as he went out, closing the door, leaving me alone to think. To think between giving in to my feelings or controlling them. I feel so confused.
******
I knocked gently on Phil's door as he opened it to reveal his handsome self. He was putting on only a short knicker with his other body exposed.
I could not help but stare at his chest, which exposed his well-tanned six-packs.
"Wow, you came to visit me today. What a pleasant surprise", Phil exclaimed his smile vibrant as ever.
" You need to work on your welcoming note speech Senior Phil", I teased as he smirked.
"It is only a matter of time before we know who did the right thing, Michael. You might not like what is coming from my end", he leaned closer whispering in my ear, as my ear twitched as I blushed slightly.
" Come in", he beckoned as I entered his room which was more of a standard one. Brown painting with a study table and chair by the side, and a set of electronics by the rare side. He is sure a nerd from the looks of things. Books were scattered on the other side of the bed making me wonder whether I was disturbing his study time.
"You are studying. I should just drop this and go", I said, dropping the bag containing the food I prepared, as I try not to stare at him.
He held my hands as he pulled me making me land on his bed.
" You are more important than my books. I can read anytime", he stated as I tried not to turn red.
He went to his wardrobe as he put on a white singlet as brought out the food I cooked.
"Let us eat together", he requested.
" No. I did not cook much, and I have eaten at home", I replied as he nodded before getting a basin as he washed his hands before sitting on the floor opening the lid of the container containing the soup.
He served some of the soup on the plate as he opened the one wrap of pounded yam I made. I watched his hand, as he dipped in the swallow forcing it into my mouth. My mouth opened as I swallowed it unwillingly.

I frowned as he started laughing.
"Ok, I am sorry about that. I can't eat this without you eating with me. I will feel guilty. I hope you understand", he explained as I stood up washing my hands in the basin before joining him on the floor, as we both ate the wrap of swallow, which was rather more like a light meal because it was of small quantity.
After finishing the meal, we both sat on the bed. For some seconds, I was expecting a 'thank you from him. Curse my code of thought", I screamed inside realizing how stupid I sounded.
" I enjoyed the meal you prepared. Thank you for cooking my favorite meal. I have been yearning for a homemade one for a while now. thanks again", he explained as I smiled brightly.
"Anytime, and it is my pleasure. I just thought I should surprise you a bit", I stated, a smirk appearing on his face as he kept looking at me.
" What if I surprise you too?", he voiced out, making my heartbeat
He leaned closer his face almost meeting mine as my heart kept beating. My breath hitched as I felt his cold face on my neck. My body twitched, as I find myself pulling Phil closer.
I bit my lips gently, trying to stop the pleasure I was having. He leaned more closer as his cold hand made its way under my shirt, giving me goosebumps.
I have to stop this", I told myself but can I?