Every day seems like a passing phase. Every moment is like a good time. Ever since my last talk with Chris and Phil, I am yet to make a decision. It seems suffocating thinking of what to go for, especially with a bitter feeling in the pit of my stomach.
One of my thoughts ended up being against what my body is craving for. I always find myself asking questions. If I eventually am with Phil, will I be happy? What if I remain single and this weird feeling keeps persisting? How will I even figure out the right thing to go for?
I looked at the streets with the simmering of light as Phil draped his hand on my shoulder. Anytime I try to tell him to stop trying to be always with me, he becomes sad. In as much as I want him to be back with Senior Joy, he was able to get what I was trying to do.
I don't know what is happening to me. I no longer feel those butterflies in my Tommy, anxiety, and nervousness never creeps in again when I am around the same sex. I am beginning to maintain eye contact with the same sexes again. New things keep happening.
"Let us try that SUYA(BEEF KEEBABS)", I came back to reality as Phil dragged me to one of the Suya joints.

Suya also known as Beef Kebabs Is a popular Nigerian street food made by putting grilled meat on skewers. He collected two as he gave me one which I ate part of it.
I could not help but moan at the taste, as I chew on it. We kept munching on the grilled meat as we talked about other things, not before three men approached us.
" They said it but I find it unbelievable, but seeing is believing", the man in front of Phil said as my throat itched as I looked at his domineering figure.
He dark face with a tall and muscular figure with tattoos drawn in the obvious part of his neck. He is probably in his mid 20's.
"What do you want?", Phil's demeanor changed instantly as he stared angrily at them all.
" That you like that boy and will do anything to protect him", another person spoke making my heart hitch a bit.
"Don't try anything stupid or you will bear the consequences", Phil bellowed
" Haha, why getting so worked up? We would be taking our leave now, just be at alert bro", the man spoke again, as they left immediately, each one of them taking their leave not without glancing at me for a while.
I kept staring like a lost puppy, my mind looking for answers. Phil quickly held my hand paying the beef seller for what we ate.
We kept walking each one of us quiet as my mind kept requesting answers. We finally got to the hostel in no time, as I decided to ask about those three men.
"Phil, who are those men?", I questioned as he turned his eye away from me.
" Please answer me"
He looked at me as he let out a sigh, feeling frustrated already.
"I'm sorry but I cannot tell you. The less you know, the better. I just want you to be safe. Be careful and don't walk around alone. These days I have been feeling my past coming to catch up with me. Sooner or later, I will have to face the consequences of backing out of one of the most notorious cultist groups.
No matter what, remember to make your decision as soon as possible. Michael, I like you a lot. Not only have you helped me realize that no matter what I have done in the past, but God will also forgive me. You have also assisted me in making amends where necessary.
Joy, Kevin, and others I have sought forgiveness from making my conscience calm even if I eventually die tomorrow or anytime soon", He said the last part as he chuckled dryly, my mind wandering about.
" Never stop being good because you are the best. Michael, be who you want to be", I hugged him as he stopped talking, his hot breath fanning my ear.
"Why are you talking as if you are leaving your death will? Please stop this?", I voiced out
" Hey, I am not dying. Let us go inside your hostel, it Is cold here", Phil said softly, as I released myself from him, tears welling in my eyes.
We slowly made our way inside, as I put on the lights, both of us sitting on the bed.
"Have you decided on what we discussed earlier?", Phil asked making my hand tremble a bit.
" No, I haven't. I feel confused about everything. Embracing my sexuality is one thing, but is it the right thing to do? Apart from what my conscience will bring upon me if I eventually give in, I feel sex is more than just a random consummation. I feel it as a sacred bond" I rambled, running my hands over my face.
"Don't push yourself too hard. Take your time and choose from the three options I gave you. I like you Michael, and I am hoping one day you will feel the same for me. I have to go now", Phil stood up to leave as I held his hands.
" Can you stay here for the night? You can go back tomorrow morning", I said as he sighs.
"I will watch you sleep then but I can't promise I will stay with you till tomorrow night. I might not be able to control myself around you", he stated as he began arranging the blankets on the beds.
"Chris will be coming later tonight. Can you stay till he comes back? Please", I pleaded.
" Your wish is my command my lord", he bows slightly as I gave out a laugh.

I never knew when I slept off with Phil just looking at me. I said a little prayer in my heart hoping nothing bad will happen to Phil.
*******
I almost sprung out of the bed, as I kept breathing in and out. My hands made their way to my face, sweats dripping off my face. I felt my body trembling at the nightmare I had. Something bad has happened to Phil. Tears welled up my eyes as my throat went dry.
"Are you okay? ", Chris's voice made me turn my head in his direction.
" Where is Phil?", I asked holding his hand.
I am pretty sure something big is about to happen.
"He left immediately I came back. Is there any problem?", Chris questioned.
" I think Phil is in danger. I just had a dream that someone shot Phil. Something bad has happened to him", I felt numb by the thoughts alone.
"Hey calm down. Everything is going to be all right. We will check Senior Philip early this morning", Chris tried to calm me down as he pulled me closer.
I turned as I took my phone to call Phil but all my three trials only resulted in failure as his phone is switched off.
" Calm down and sleep Michael, nothing bad will happen to him", Chris reassured me as he made me lie down on the bed.
I could not sleep as I felt I would have a bad dream again. I prayed silently hoping nothing bad has happened to him.
Chris and I went to Phil's apartment as early as 6 am in morning. Each step I took felt like I was stepping on my body. I could feel my heart throbbing, especially when we got to his apartment.
Mourns filled the air as I realized what has happened.
"Philip is dead", I turned abruptly to see Senior Joy.
No, that is impossible. My mind went blank immediately.
" He was poisoned. He left this behind tho", I looked at the envelope in Senior Joy's hands as her hands trembled, tears welling in her eyes.
The morning cold air hit me instantly as I developed goosebumps. At that moment, I finally made a decision.
.
.
.
.
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A\N: Here is where we begin to draw the curtain. 2 more chapters to go, I.e, the EPILOGUE, AND AUTHOR POV.
I'm sorry I had to end it this way, but there will be a sequel to this book. We still need to know Michael's decision, so lookout for the next two chapters, thank you.