I've gone too far to give up now
Just put a bandage on those scars
There's no need to be held by failure
You can beat all of the odds
And if you feel under pressure
Scared beyond measure
Lost a close treasure
You've got to remember
You're not what they call you
Can't limit yourself to what
People tell you
You're the final word
FINAL WORD BY JEIEL DAMINA
DEAR MICHAEL,
I wished I had known you in the earlier days of my life, maybe, I won't have been in that secret cult. That way, I won't have died.

You have helped me in several ways. Your words like warm water that soothes my skin, your attention like a mother that listens to the cries of her baby and tends to it.
Every decision has a consequence and mine is death. Not only was I a leader of one of the dangerous cult groups, but I have afflicted pain on other people and given orders for others' death. Anyone who kills by the sword must die by the sword.
I wish you all the best throughout your higher education life. Do not worry as no one will cause you any harm even when I am dead.
I like you so much Michael, and you have been one of the best parts of my life. Take your time to make your decision. Remember that maybe God will understand you for the decision you make.

Yours sincerely
Philip.
*****
"Hey, don't tell me you will be wearing those faces of yours to my graduation party", Chris's voice jolted me out of my reverie as I turned my head in his direction.
" Congratulations bro, I can't believe 4years are gone. I am going to miss you", I brought out a smile which he reciprocated as he moved closer to the bed.
It has been over 2 months, and somehow I'm still shocked about his death. Senior Joy was heartbroken, apparently, she still likes Phil. Today was supposed to be one of Phil's happiest days but due to his wrong decision, it ended up costing him his life.
I miss him and I wished I had known him earlier, maybe I would have stopped him from concluding joining a cult group. His letter to me made me realize he was willing to die happily knowing fully well he had a clean conscience before God and man.
Even though he has afflicted pain on others, he has strived to make amends and seek forgiveness from them.
"What are you thinking about?", I sigh a bit as I stare at Chris who wore a suit making him look mature than his 21-year-old self.
" I was just thinking about something and I hope you don't mind answering some of my questions", he nodded his head In affirmation, prompting me to go ahead.
"After developing an attraction for me, did you ever develop any other for the same sex?", I probed.
" Nope, just only you and that is all. I was scared I would keep having the same phase as yours but it never occurred again", he answered as I gulped down the saliva down my throat.
"Recently I have my doubts about my feelings for the same sexes which I have not figured out yet", I stated
" So you haven't made your decision yet?", he questioned
"I have. Some new things have been happening to me. I can maintain close contact with the same-sex sex. I no longer feel my heart beating when I'm around them. For some reason, I am beginning to doubt I still have that weird feeling", I explained, holding the pillow to my chest.
" Is that supposed to be good news?", Chris asked
"Maybe. That is why I have made my decision.
For the last two years of my stay at the University, if I continue to have feelings for the same sexes, then I have no other choice but to give in to them.
But if I do not develop those feelings toward the same sex, then my doubts have been rectified, knowing that such kind of feelings will be gone as long as you control them", I asserted
" Whatever decision you make, all the best with it. If it is to give in that will make you happy, then go for it. Since you mentioned earlier about the sudden changes when you are with the same sexes, then the second option won't be bad either. I salute you for being so courageous, for carrying those feelings all these years", Chris commended as I smiled widely.
"Let us party", I shouted as we both prepared to go for his final year party.
Life is like a mist. It appears for a day and disappears tomorrow. The most important thing is to live your life the right way.
I started as an effeminate teenage boy who develops feelings for the same sex. At the 6th attraction, I thought this was the right person, as I decided to confess to him, but I am thankful I never did.
My higher education happened to be like a nightmare as the same sexes can be attracted to me. Throughout my life till these moments, I have been attracted to 9 males, and such feelings tend to leave as long as I try to get rid of them.

I will miss Philip. His life has taught me to be careful and not choose bad friends. Even with problems looming around, finding the right kind of friend is the best thing. A friend who can comfort you during troubled times, a friend who sticks to help you face your fears, a friend who would never leave you, no matter what. Such friends are rare but they are available.
Feelings are meant not to be controlled', some people will say. I must confess it has been suffocating to do so but sometimes I feel it was the best thing to do.
For the last two years of my stay at the University, if I continue to have feelings for the same sexes, then I have no other choice but to give in to them.
But if I do not develop those feelings toward the same sex, then my doubts have been rectified, knowing that such kinds of feelings will be gone as long as I control them
Now, I have two decisions to choose from, will you help me out?
THE END