"I didn't want that Marz! I swear I didn't wish her to get into an accident. I'm sorry. I didn't expect that she will be endangered after accepting her Mommy's offer. Jess, I'm sorry." I was stunned by the last words Ivy said and I don't know where I got the strength to stand up and look her straight in the eye.
"What do you mean?" There was a tremor in my voice. I stepped closer to her and held her arms tightly.
"Answer me!" I screamed shaking her shoulder.
"My Mommy helped treat your Mama who had a stroke and then... you're going to mention her in our argument? HOW DARE YOU!" I snorted shakily at him. My mind went blank and it was too late when I realized that my heavy palm landed on his cheek. My slap was powerful that she sat on the ground holding her reddened cheeks.
"You really want to know?" Her eyes filled with rage when she answered me and at that moment my desire to unravel the truth dominated.
"Don't lie to cover up your disloyalty. You were just an insecure friend who want to take Jacob away from me and you just can't admit it." My hand trembled pointing her chest. Even Marz was surprised by what I did and I couldn't stop. Ivy bravely stood up from the fall and faced me.
"That's true Jessica. YES! Your Mommy asked me for a favor to separate you from Jacob and in exchange for that favor... my mom will be treated. Yes! Your mom paid for everything from treatment to hospital bills, and therapies. My mom is more important so I have no other choice-" She gasped when my palm marked her other cheek again while my tears were threading.
"I just said 'DON'R LIE!' How dare you drag my mother's name to this?!" Another time, I accidentally pushed her so she fell on the ground again looking up at me. With every drop of her tears, this rage stabbed me and made me believe everything she said was true.
"That's not true! Mommy will never do that to me." I raised my hand again to hit her because I always wanted to do that after my operation. Ivy bent down to avoid my threatening hand but before my hand flew to her face, another hand stopped me blocking me.
"STOP IT!" I lowered my hand when I saw Ivan's eyes begging me to stop what I wanted to do to Ivy.
"LET ME GO IVAN!" He pursed his lips and looked down never letting my wrist go. His hand was shaking as I locked eyes with him. When he sensed my strength slowly depleting, he put my hand down.
Screaming the pain thundered around us as my hand traversed on my head pulling my hair in frustration. My knees kissed on the ground, no one spoke, and no one looked at each other. All I could see were our tears. Tears streamed on the shattered friendship and seemed to be looking back at our memories here in the fishpond. Ivan immediately approached Ivy and asked if she was in pain.
We sat on wooden chairs and waited to see who would speak first. I wiped my tears when Ivy started talking and placed the two trackers and cellphones on the table with the pictures flashed on the screen that was all part of my plan.
"I know you sent this and I want to say thank you." Ivy smiled bitterly and I pursed my lips averting her gaze before she continued.
"Because you are the one who separated Jacob and me." Our eyes were red from crying but it still continued to rush even for Marz.
Marz hugged me and held me as we listened to what Ivy had to say next. No matter what I do, no matter how much I hurt them, I can't change the truth and it only makes the wound cut deeper and deeper. I've been hurt for the longest time. Even if it hurts I have to accept it, I don't even know what Mommy's reason is but I know she won't do that without a good reason. There is only one thing I am holding on to now and that is Mommy's love for me.
"The truth is, I did share a roof with Jacob but... I'm not happy because I know he still loves you." Ivy held on to Ivan's hand firmly and bowed her head, crying the invisible wounds from inside her.
"But even if that happened, I have no regrets... even if I go back time, I will still choose who matters more even if my way is wrong. So please forgive me if I hurt you because I chose my Mama over our friendship because... she's the only one I have." Ivy confessed sincerely as if there were needles around her neck. She tried to reach my hand as well as Marz's and we both felt the warmth of her palm that somehow returned the missing piece of our hearts.
"You may not forgive me now but one day, you will understand me too and I will wait for that day... when we can be finally friends again." Ivan was rubbing Ivy's back comforting her and as she spoke, my brittle heart was shattered again into a million pieces, and I don't know how to put it back. I don't know how to start again after this.
Ivy took a deep breath before she gazed at me full of pain and apology. I don't know how difficult it was for her to make a heavy decision and I can see clearly in her eyes the torture she's been carrying for the years that passed by — pain that was unknown to us. She swerved her eyes at Marz asking for forgiveness, forgiveness that cannot be given easily then she stood, and our eyes crossed roads again as she finally said these words before leaving.
"Above all, I don't want to endure living forever because of your Mommy's favor." Ivy wiped her tears and approached me carefully. I stared into her tired eyes, and I found myself hugged by her, the sincere hug that I missed. Marz joined the hug, but it ended when Ivy broke off and walked away with Ivan. When I can't see their shadows anymore, Marz and I returned to the mansion with a heavy heart. Hours passed and the moon rose in the sky, yet my tears kept on threading.
***
"JESSICA, my dear?" I quickly wiped the tears from my face with a handkerchief and sat down on my queen-sized bed when Daddy knocked and opened the door. His face showed concern for me but I still managed to smile when he came and sat next to me.
"Yes, Dad?" I tried to fight the difficulty of speaking because I didn't want to add to his thoughts but my voice was too weak and cracked from crying.
"Is there a problem? Tell me my dear so that I can help you." He brushed my hair as he used to when I was a little girl and let me lean on his chest.
"Daddy, Mommy loves me, right?" No matter how hard I tried, my perfidious tears also fell as I leaned against his chest and hugged him.
"She loves you so much my dear that she's willing to do everything," he answered with pain and longing evident in his voice.
"I miss her Daddy." I tightened my hug on him and felt his deep breathing.
"I miss her too." His warm hug grew tighter, and it made me cry more. He brushed my hair softly as he let me cry on his chest and it gave me warmth and comfort. He's not my biological father but I'm so fortunate that he owned me — they treated me (with Mommy) as their own princess.
We stayed in that position, healing and sharing the heaviness in our hearts until I closed my eyes preparing myself to fall into a deep slumber. But before I could, Dad fixed me on the bed and kissed my forehead. I was still conscious when his phone rang, and he asked the caller immediately for the same name I overheard earlier in his office.
The next day, Marz woke me up like an insane woman and she was uncontrollably excited about the camping I don't know what's exactly the reason. I totally forgot about the camping that's why he decided to help me in packing and selecting my outfits because apparently, I'm the opposite of his high energy level today. A few minutes later, the twins entered my room to help me up after reporting to Marz that the van is already waiting outside the mansion. Hazel volunteered to fix my bed but still had the time to smash a pillow to Jia's face.
"Hey! You ruined my pigtails." Hazel complained as she received a powerful smash from Jia in return.
"You also ruined my pucca hair!" Jia defended as Hazel attempted to hit her again. Marz scared them with her on fleek brows before they will start a pillow fight and bounced like feathers on my bed.
"Is everyone ready?" We all turned to the person who spoke and I saw the angel who looked like a playboy in front of my door with a backpack in one hand. He was wearing an Adidas black shirt, black pants, and a black cap and here they go again...
"Song Jong Ki, is that you?" Marz squealed and immediately left me to hug Marc.
"We thought you weren't coming?" Jia raised a brow and finished fixing my bed while Hazel patted the pillow on the other side of the bed. Marc was about to answer when Marz pulled him inside my room and signed the twins to follow her.
"Don't ask too many questions!" Marz winked at me that I don't get what's the real meaning behind and left me and Marc in my room.
"I will carry it." Marc smiled at me and put on his bag then lifted my backpack in his right hand. I returned a small grateful smile and then grabbed my tent, my arnis, and an extra bag for emergency purposes. I can feel his furtive glances of concern at me, but I chose not to bother asking how he is because I'm still gathering energy for the camping and thankfully, he respected my silence as we went downstairs.
Daddy was waiting for us in the living room and as I stepped down a few stairs, I saw him speaking to Marz and the twins as if he were leaving me under their care then he hugged them with a melancholic smile.
My eyes widened as Marc held out his hand to me, he was standing two steps below me with a knowing smile and I just realized that I was in a daze and he was waiting for me to come down. My eyes widened even more when he took my hand and helped me down until we reached the living room and Daddy was in front of me.
"Please take care of my daughter Marc. I trust you." Daddy eyed Marc with a warning in his eyes and hugged me like I'm still his little girl.
"Enjoy my dear, okay?" I nodded obediently and Daddy kissed my forehead and then held my hand as we walked out of the mansion. He waved goodbye as I entered the van and left notes to remember to the driver and bodyguard on the front seat.
"Be careful." Manong Arthur waved goodbye beside Daddy, and I smiled before I closed the tinted mirror.
This is our arrangement inside the van. The twins are next to each other as usual because they can't really be separated and they sit behind the driver. Following them was me soloing and Marz and Marc were behind me. Marz is busy with his vlog while the twins are playing left 4 dead again, Marc is deep in thought. I think this setup is better tho. I don't have anyone next to me so I can cool my head. I think the flight is still a long way away so I took a nap but I couldn't continue it when I felt a stomach ache and was nauseous.
We are still traveling but I asked to turn off the AC and Jia volunteered. They were all worried but I signaled that I'm really fine. I felt a little better when I turned off the AC but after a few minutes I started to feel hot and nauseous again so I stopped the van at the nearest gasoline station and quickly got off with Marz.
I went straight to CR and threw up almost all the air and water from my stomach. I forgot to eat last night and this morning because I had no appetite so my stomach was upset.
Marz rubbed my back worriedly and gave me her anti-flatulence oil to ease the pain in my stomach. Afterward, we went back to the van, and I was stunned when Marc was sitting on my seat with a cup of noodles in his hand and another cup of rice with bacon strips, sunny-side-up egg, and chicken fillet in the other hand.
"Thanks Captain." The twins smiled at him, and their worried eyes darted at me persuading me to eat. Marz carefully pushed me to sit beside Marc and asked the driver to open the back of the van. The bodyguard assisted him and when he went back, he was holding a mint green fluffy sweater that she got from my traveling bag and handed to me to warm myself during the trip.
From what I heard, it will take 6 hours before we can reach our destination. I'm certain that Marz disclosed the site to me, but I just can't remember the specific place because my mind was occupied at that time with the person who was currently beside me.
"Captain, please help our best friend. If there's anything you need, tell me right away. I'll just call Ti-" Before Marz could get out of the van again, I touched his pants pocket so he turned to me at the same time I raised an eyebrow.
"Marz I'm fine. Please don't call Daddy, I don't want him to worry. I'll eat now." I let go of Marz and snatched the cup of rice from Marc and showed them that I will force myself to eat even if my stomach doesn't agree. Marz returned to the back and signaled to the driver that everything was okay and that he could continue the flight.
I haven't eaten half of my food yet and I don't want to finish what's in the cup because I really don't have an appetite and I feel like I'm going to throw up again. Marz handed me the water and I drank a little while taking another bite of food. In my mind, I had to finish my food, so even though it took a long time, I chewed slowly until I actually finished two cups.
Every 30 minutes, the twins checked on me as well as Marz until they fell asleep because of the angelic voice of Moira playing on air. While I was sipping the soup, I noticed that the person next to me was secretly smiling and holding back his laughter, so I finished the soup first and put it in the plastic cellophane in the seat pocket, then cleaned myself before asking him.
"Why?" I said softly and he immediately took a tissue to wipe my mouth with oil stains.
I blinked at what he did and backed away a little because his face was too close to mine wearing that adorable smile. Suddenly the organ inside my chest beat faster when our eyes met and at that moment I almost drowned in his bright eyes that I couldn't avoid.
I chose to distance my face from him and because I didn't realize that I was too far back, I lost my balance while sitting when the road suddenly became bumpy and no longer paved. I grabbed the pocket of the seat in front of me to get back to sitting properly but before I could reach it the road became more rocky so the inside of the van shook more and I fell further until he pulled my waist closer. There was no distance between us as he holds my shoulder tightly.
I felt the warmth of his body but instead of separating from him, my body dictated to not let go because that's what I need. My muscle aches and my vomiting have not come back after filling my stomach so I think I'm fine.
"Why do you always make me worry?" I was about to fall asleep when he muttered something under his breath.
"What did you say?" I raised my head to look him in the eye and he hugged me.
"Why do you always make me worry?" This time I heard it distinctly and I don't know how to respond as if my tongue was intercepted. I adjusted myself from him, letting strands of hair fall on my face, my eyes on the window then averted his gaze. I wanted to ask him why, but other words came out of my mouth unrelated to what I wanted to know instead.
"I terminated the plot because I realized you're right, revenge did not benefit me. It was like rubbing salt in my wounds." I heaved a frustrated sigh and was about to lean against the headrest when he placed his biceps at the back of my head which made my head bump. I looked at him evilly and he gave me an annoying grin.
"Why are you smiling?" I raised my eyebrows.
"That's it, be quiet. I'd rather see you cursing than sad." He playfully rubbed my chin like a puppy and cupped my head letting me lean on his chest again. I encircled my arms around his abdomen and somehow, I felt like breathing free from pain.
"Can we stay like this for a while Ku-ya?" It's been ages since I called him like that then he nodded and hummed the song of Air Supply that played after Moira's playlist.
I hope I didn't push you away.
I hope you are the one I love.
I wish...
I chose you from the very beginning.