"JESS, we need to talk." He hurriedly stepped forward but Marz automatically blocked his way with his fleek brows arching so high almost reaching his hairline while arms crossed in front of his chest.
"As far as I remember, we don't have anything to talk about and we don't… talk anymore," I weakly answered, obviously my fever since last night still hasn't subsided.
"Jess, please just give me 15 minutes." My eyes widened when he was about to take my arm away but Marc quickly stopped him wearing his sharp and threatening gaze and professed, "Don't touch my girlfriend." But Jacob just sneered at him while forcefully removing Marc's hand that was holding his hand, shooing him away without a doubt.
"I know you are not his boyfriend. You are just pretending." I was shocked by what Jacob responded and shifted my gaze to Marc who was not affected by my daring ex. I also noticed the rapid change in expression of my friends and I could read in their eyes that they were waiting for what I would do next.
"Go home Jacob!" I shouted as I got out of the van and turned my back on them but before I could step on the stairs of the main door of the mansion I was arrested by a hand that firmly grabbed my wrist and forced me to face him.
"I'm not going home until we talk Jess. We need to talk, please listen to me," Jacob told me boldly as if he believed that I would actually talk to him. Why is he like that? Does he think that line will still work for me? That was so high school for Pete's sake!
I was about to push his hand away when he held both of my hands and knelt in front of me saying, "I still love you so much." I was confused by what he did and looked at Marc who just averted my eyes and my friends were already cupping their foreheads because of what he did.
"Jess please let's talk, just give me a spare amount of your time. I will never leave this spot not until we talk. Please." He was begging now, I could see tears welling up in his eyes which made me immediately pull away from him while saying the words, "I don't have any spare time for you and I don't care if you froze to death." Then I left him in that position.
I looked straight when entering the mansion until I reached my room with my mind floating and I could hardly feel the weight of my body. Seeing my comfortable bed, I immediately fell down and didn't realize how long I had closed my eyes.
"BEST! THIS IS SO MESS UP! WAKE UP!" I lazily got up from bed because of Marz's irritating voice as if a fire broke outside and we had to evacuate. His panic sounded almost beat the ambulance siren.
"What are you yelling at? I'm still sick and sleepy." I put my body back on my soft bed again then Marz shook me for the nth time and the twins came in wearing that sick worried face.
"What is happening?"
"IT'S JACOB..." Marz couldn't finish what he wanted to say and the hand that was pulling his hair was still shaking. I looked around at the twins who couldn't speak and as soon I heard a noise from outside.
"WHAT THE! WHY IS THERE AN AMBULANCE?" I thought I was just hearing things in my head. As quick as lightning completely forgetting I have a fever, I headed downstairs to go out of the mansion and when I opened the door I saw the pale Jacob lying on the floor where I left him earlier.
Don't tell me he was on his knees from earlier until tonight! Does that mean he's been doing this for eight hours?! What was running through his mind and he did that? Is it really that hard to understand what I said earlier that I really don't want to talk to him? What was he thinking? Now I'm in trouble. It's a good thing Dad isn't here yet, but I'm sure the news will reach him eventually.
I froze where I was standing and just watched the incident before my eyes. Jacob was unconscious as the paramedics put him on a gurney. I only realized the scene in front of me when Marz pulled me into the ambulance and went with them to the hospital. My throat felt dry as the nurse looked at Jacob and put on the oxygen mask. Marz was holding my hand now and encouraging me. I don't know how to react to what I'm witnessing right now, it's like I've lost my senses. I didn't expect this to be the consequence of what I did earlier. Is the conversation between the two of us that important that this has to happen? I thought he was just going to play with me again with his flowery words to get me again. I thought it was useless to talk to him and that I will just waste my time.
We got to the hospital quickly and the doctor took care of Jacob right away. Marz and I sat outside the emergency room while the doctor was examining Jacob until the doctor came out and moved him to a private room. According to the doctor, he fainted because of low blood pressure and was triggered by stress but he'll be fine after taking a rest. Marz called Jacob's parents, I don't know how he did it. I am aware of his connection so maybe he pulled some string while here I am, staring blankly, waiting for him to open his eyes. Since none of Jacob's parents had arrived yet, Marz left and waited for their arrival outside. I went inside the room where Jacob was lying and sat on the chair next to the bed. He is sleeping now, his face was peaceful and sleepy. I just stared at his face, not a single word coming out of my mouth. I fixed the blanket that was folded on his stomach and raised it a little on his chest.
I remembered when we rushed him to the hospital because he had eaten shrimp, he was allergic to it and I was the one who watched over him the whole day because his parents didn't come either. Just like before, I sat next to him again and slowly ran my hand through his hair. I took it out because it was covering her eyes and carefully combined it with the other strands.
"Why did you do that?" I uttered in a low tone, my eyes looking down feeling guilty.
"Because I really need to talk to you." I immediately withdrew my hand from combing his hair when he spoke. He looked around the room and carefully held my hand and kissed the back of it.
"Jess, I really want to ask for a second chance, but I already accepted the fact that we really can't be together. I'm not justifying that what I did 4 years ago today was right." I was taken aback when he mentioned that it's 4 years today. I roamed my eyes around the hospital and memories gushed out painfully inside my head.
"I remembered every pain in this hospital but your Mom was right, 'US' was a mistake." He smiled bitterly and wiped the drops of emotion that fell from my eyes using his thumb. What is he talking about? Why do they keep bringing up my mom here in this failed relationship?
"I love you Jess, until now I never stopped loving you… but you need to forget me. Forget everything that there was an 'US'. Forget that we happened. Forget that I came to your life. Forget that I existed... but you will always remain in my memory." I stood up after his monologue.
"That's what I am doing! Why do you have to wait on your knees outside the mansion just to say those things? I don't understand!" I really wanted to hurt him because of his stupidity but I couldn't. I'm not stupid enough not to think of that. He struggled to get up from lying down and looked deeply into my eyes. He reached my cheek and felt its warmth wearing that weak, fragile, mournful smile I never saw before.
"Leave me here and never come back in CDO. Much better if you go abroad, away from me." I knitted my brows when he almost whispered those words as if the corners and walls of the hospital can hear us. It's like everything we had shared was a grave sin.
"Is there something I need to know aside from what Mom did? Aside from Ivy's version of the story, is there more of it? Tell me Jacob!" I almost ripped the white bed sheet in frustration. I can't stay still anymore because I know that they're still hiding something from me. There is more to this tragic story of us. He tucked some strands of my hair behind my ears and held my chin with yearning in his eyes.
"I'm sorry for hurting you, for being your mistake. We shouldn't have met and fallen in love in the first place because us… is cannot be. No matter how hard we try to make things work, it won't... because destiny already foresaw it and played in our hearts. " His nonchalant words impaled me like bullets ricocheting in every part of my heart.
"Why are you saying that? Yes, you hurt me... so bad but loving you was not a mistake. If you know something that I need to know, please just tell me. I want to know the truth, Jacob. I can't completely move on if I don't know the whole story of why Mom did that to us, her reasons, her intentions." With tears pricking my face, I waited for his answer. As I was bracing myself to know the truth, I met his melancholic eyes full of pain and regrets. His face was full of longing then he angled his face and gently brushed his lips against mine. I didn't move an inch nor close my eyes. I just let my tears stream down my face damping his face.
He pulled away when I didn't respond and whispered after locking me in his arms, "But why is it so right when we met? Why is it that our feelings were real at that time? I can't believe that in the beginning, you are someone that I forbid to have because... we are-" I found myself unlocked from his embrace when someone grabbed my hand and took me out of the hospital. His face was filled with shock and his eyes were set ablaze by what he saw. We're heading to the parking lot, and I tried to pull out my wrist from his bone-cracking grip.
"Let me go Marc!" I almost shouted trying to free my wrist from his grip, but he didn't listen. For the last time, I gave all my might to let go of him using my other hand and face him still teary-eyed.
"I'm hurting." He looked down when I exclaimed, and I stepped back to give us a distance.
"I'm hurting too, Jess. Are the two of you back together?" He was breathing uneasily and looked at me with those devastating glares.
"NO! OF COURSE NOT!"
"Then what was that earlier? Did you forgive him already? Do you love him again? You can't because..." I frowned when he stopped what he was going to say and reached for my arm again. I was almost dragged by his mighty hand but I didn't let him and forcefully took his hand away. Even though I felt that my strength was running out, I still faced him.
"Because what?! Tell me Marc, I know you know something. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME? WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU TELL ME? Jacob will almost speak if you just didn't pull me away. I deserve to know the truth because I don't even know what to think, what I should do, and which of you to believe." I'm begging him now, I need to know what he knows because I'm so dazed. I don't know who to trust. He gritted his teeth and averted my eyes, I waited for his answer and much to my dismay, I pushed him so hard in the chest and ran away. I ran as fast as I could going out of the hospital, but he still caught me when I reached the highway before crossing the pedestrian lane.
"Let's go home. You need to rest." He forced me to look at him but seeing him disappoints me and it deepens all the existing heartaches.
"I don't want to go home." I tried to get out of his grip and I stared furiously at his eyes that were struggling to see me. He kept saying 'I'm sorry' but I can't accept that because that's not what I need to hear from him.
"I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I pushed him away again with the last strength I could muster and quickly entered the taxi that I encountered. There is nothing else I want to go to but the memorial garden where Mom's grave is. Tears were slowly and quietly killing my eyes until the taxi stopped and arrived at the memorial garden. I handed the payment to the driver and he gave me a sympathetic smile.
"Whatever you're feeling right now, I hope you don't forget the people who love you." I nodded at what the old driver who was in his 60's. I immediately got off the taxi without getting the change and ran to Mom's grave with a heavy heart.
I swept the leaves scattered on the tombstone with my hand then sat down and let my eyes scream again in tears. I looked up at the dark sky and smiled bitterly.
"Mom, I know you can hear me up there, I wish you were here. I miss you so much Mom." I wiped the tears that blurred my vision and opened my arms extending to the side. I enveloped myself when the wind blew stronger and felt the warmth of my Mom's way of responding to my call from heaven.
"Mom?" My voice cracked and buried my head on my knees then continued, "Why did you do that? I badly want to know. I need to know the reason right even if it means, it will leave a scar again. Mom, I'll be fine if I have to be scarred again as long as it is the truth and I believe it's the only way to mend my grown scar of the past. I know it will set me free one day."
The wind stopped blowing and suddenly, the rain started to shed tears wetting the grass and my clothes. I hugged myself tighter when I saw the dark clouds gathering above, also upset. In my mind, I was wailing yet teardrops and raindrops streaming down my face were hushed. My body remained calm from the pouring rain soaking my body. Suddenly, someone wrapped a thick blanket on my shoulder and covered an umbrella on my head.
"Marc..." I craned up and cooed. He fumbled something in his pocket as he sat beside me. I looked at him with eyes full of confusion. I frowned when he gave me a silver necklace with a tiny heart pendant. He placed the necklace on my palm and almost whispered, "Wear this at the wedding." He cupped my head and brought it against his chest. He meant that he agreed on my proposal for the wedding of Ate Jofraine so I nodded but he's still not giving me the answer I want to hear yet. Under the comforting rain, I listened to his heartbeat and silently cried on his chest. I know it's hard for him but on second thought, if he doesn't want me to know the naked truth yet because he cared for me and they don't want me to get hurt by knowing it, should I still pursue knowing the truth or I'll just forget about everything?
"Remember I love you," he whispered while brushing my hair. I hooked my arms around his back and answered, "I'm afraid of knowing what you know but I need to, right?" He nodded and rubbed my back gently then whispered again, "I'll be there holding your hand if you're ready to know the truth. I don't want it coming from me or revealing it to you when you're mad. It doesn't mean that I don't want you to know, I'm just trying to protect you." I pursed my trembling lips and my eyes countlessly brimmed tears again. I remember the time when I hid from everyone after Dad and I had a misunderstanding. He found me in my secret place in the mansion. Behind the curtain of the mirror in my piano room, I organized a small place there where I can rest without anyone disturbing me when I'm upset.
Again, he found me when I was hiding.