Sabrina Fogarty, what a beautiful name.
As he flipped the first two pages, images of my two mothers' faces playing the piano showed up.
Dad cupped his forehead as he closed the album he was holding and seemed to be having second thoughts about sharing everything with me. It's as clear as day that he's not yet ready to reveal it to me. But this is not going anywhere if he keeps hiding it from me. Before I hear the whole story from other people and the truth will ruin me, I prefer that I hear it from him directly because he's the only one I can trust and not the anonymous who sent those photos.
"Dad, this is the right time. I'm in a mess and I'm having trouble with what I'm discovering. Dad please..." I held Dad's hand and looked into his eyes pleadingly.
"If only I could undo things in the past, my dear, this won't happen to us. I promised your Mom that I will bury the truth about your parents until I die but it seems that I have nowhere to go this time. " Dad closed his eyes tightly when he saw me begging him. He nodded and hugged me tightly while whispering, "No matter what happens, you will always be my daughter and I am your father." I nodded in agreement and hugged him back, letting out the heavy boulder in my chest. Dad cleared his throat before beginning the story of my real identity, a story that I refused to know when Mom told me the truth that I am adopted. And when she asked if I wanted to know more about them but my young mind at that time chose not to because I am contented with what I had and I will be forever grateful to them.
"Your late mom and your biological mom were childhood best friends, and they took Music in Paris. When my wife came back to the Philippines for our wedding, your real Mom also decided to settle down with Mr. Fuentes." The content of the next pages were pictures of my real mom who was intimately close to Jacob's father. As we go through the pages, every picture hurts every part of me. How did all of this happen in the past? And how is it possible that as I looked through the pages, our love story started quite similar to our parents' history... as if the universe conspired for us to meet and intentionally unravel our parents' twisted fate.
"Unfortunately, Mr. Fuentes was arranged to... Jacob's mother without his knowledge. That time Sabrina was pregnant with you my dear and..." Dad paused and heaved another sigh pondering what will happen after I know everything.
"Sadly, Mr. Fuentes left your Mom and chose to marry Jacob's mother until she gave birth to you." I can't believe that my real Dad would be that cruel to let my real Mom end miserably. How could he leave us like that? By any chance, did Jacob know the other side of the story? Did Mr. Fuentes tell him? Probably, that explains why Jacob and I need to break each other's hearts. That is why we can't end up just like how we used to dream because our parents' history was closely linked that cannot be unchained by any of the strongest power in the world.
"What you have in your mind right now are… all of it, is right my dear. Your late Mom planned your first heartbreak because we need to separate you and Jacob for your own good." I couldn't stop the tears again, silently crying all the pain of the past. Even though it's all over and we're okay, I'm happy with Marc, the pain won't go away because it's just buried inside me and at any time it can come back to hurt me. Not because of the person who hurt me but because of the memories that passed like pictures that my mind has grown weary.
"I hope you will understand your mother because she only wants the best for you." My back rose up and down as I sobbed silently beside Dad. I badly want to hug Mommy right now but she's not around during this hour that I need her the most. I am not mad at her and I will never be because my love for her will always win.
"Yo-ur Mom did everything she could just to keep you safe and… we intended to hide the truth from you be-cause keeping your real identity is the only way to protect you." He made it sound like there is someone out there haunting me but why is that? Dad was rubbing my back and I found comfort around his arms as he let my head rest on his chest. He kept saying "I'm sorry" because what I feel right now is no other than the unbearable pain. Unexpectedly, knowing the truth would be this painful.
But there is nothing more painful when I flipped the last page of the album. I wish everything is just a dream, my worst nightmare. My heart shattered into a million pieces after reading the newspaper. I lost my voice, I can't speak and all that was left was my eyes screaming the pain that even I couldn't put in words.
I can't accept it.
I just can't.
Why is my real Mom ending like that?
Why? Is it because of me?
My trembling hand ran through the pages and touched the photo of how my real mother ended up. It took time for my eyes to finally blink. The time stopped and I froze in my seat. I don't know how to live after knowing everything.
Dad hugged me even more when I cried after seeing the photo where my real mother was lying, bloodied, and lifeless. Dad immediately closed it and buried my head in his chest as he sat me down. I was stunned by all that I found out today.
I wish this is just an illusion taunting me.
This is heavier than I thought. Despite what happened in the past, this was the most painful. This is the payback for my desire to know the truth and I can't even do anything but endure the pain.
Pain that no amount of screaming can equate.
It is overflowing and drowning. It's taking my breath away.
"I'm so sorry my dear. This is what we fear the most when this day comes, and you have to know the truth. Sadly, before your mother saved her last breath, a young boy knocked on the gate of the mansion one stormy night seeking shelter with a baby girl cradling in his arms... and that was the day you came into our lives." I broke away from Dad's embrace and vaguely looked at him. I can't take what I will know next. Knowing the details of my biological Mom is killing me slowly. Her fate was pitiful, unfair, and unjust and then I see that my real Dad is very happy with his family now as if he forgets us without regrets. He didn't even do anything for my Mommy. Is he even a human?
He's not guilty of what happened? What's more painful is that justice was not even given for the heinous and merciless murder of my real Mom.
Despite being devastated by what happened, there is one more thing I must ask that kept my mind unsettled but before I could, Dad opened a secret envelope that was inserted on the last page of the album. He opened my palm and gave me the tiny necklace that looks like a duplicate of the necklace that Marc gave me. I raised the necklace scrutinizing the smallest details then I compared it to the necklace I'm wearing. How come it's completely the same... like a replica.
"This is Sabrina's necklace that my wife gave to her as a gift when they were in Paris. We recognized you immediately that night and the next day, we got the news that Sabrina died. I'm deeply sorry my dear." Dad's voice was hoarse as he repeatedly said 'sorry' to me. I didn't answer anything but nodded and sobbed because I am losing my strength.
Is this merely a coincidence? Is there a chance that Marc knew my real Mom when she was alive?
"One mo-re thing D-ad..." I could hardly speak properly after crying. For the last time, I want to have the peace of mind that I need once and for all.
"How about me and Jacob?" I saw how Dad closed his eyes in anguish and exhaled against his will as he handed me my mother's album in remorse then answered me nervously, "Jacob is your half-brother."
***
"Jess, drink water first." I was only brought back to reality when Marc sat me down and gave me a glass of water. Ever since we left the mansion and Dad sent us back to the safe house, I can't speak. I am now in the living room staring at the TV show that the maids are watching but my mind is elsewhere. I tried to talk to Dad earlier that I was going to spend the night at the mansion but he didn't agree and he chose to keep me hidden in the safe house again.
I had no choice but to follow him and until now my tears flowed endlessly. My body is about to run out of water because my tears are unstoppable. I looked at Marc as he took my shaking hand and helped me hold the glass making sure I drink it. After moistening my parched throat with water, he placed the glass on the table and held my hands. I bowed down and started crying again. I couldn't stop myself from being hurt after hearing the whole truth.
"I know that you are having a hard time but... I want to show you something." I looked up at him and smiled bitterly because despite what happened that day, he's still here by my side wearing his bright smile that made me feel better. He stood up first and used his thumb to wipe the tears from my cheeks. All the maids and the bodyguards saw that. I heard someone sigh at what they witnessed.
Marc noticed that I was just staring at his face, waiting. Before I could close my eyes, he gently grabbed my hand and helped me stand up. I just found out that my body is too heavy and I have no strength. He held my hand tightly then we walked out of the safe house with five bodyguards behind us.
"I decided to have a last-minute tent surprise for you. You can rest here, find peace, listen to the waves..." When I couldn't count how many times he had done something sincere and special for me. I hugged him from behind very tightly while he was telling the story of how the tent was made and why he thought of it. He stopped talking when I burst into tears behind him again.
A million thanks would never be enough for everything he did for me... for being with me here, staying with me, and protecting me. He doesn't have to do all this for me but he gives it willingly and it's clear to me that he doesn't expect anything in return and because of that... I love him even more. Apparently, we stayed in that position for a while until I decided to unhook myself from him and he faced me with optimistic eyes.
"Don't cry Heart, you don't want to lose your Korean glow right?" I can't help but laugh a bit when he suddenly showed silly faces, so cute and playful.
"Thank you," I said softly. He nodded and kissed my forehead then he guided me inside the tent. He let me enter the tent first and after making sure I was okay, he signaled 'wait' and then turned around and spoke to one of the bodyguards who would be watching over us.
The tent was big enough for the two of us inside and I like to spend the night here. It's cold and the foam bed is nice, I'm more comfortable with this setup than my bed in the safe house. After a while, Marc entered the tent and he brought a barbecue with rice. My eyes sparkled when he brought it because I love to eat it in Cebu when the class is over, and when Mommy was still alive, we used to grill near the fishpond.
"I remember when we were bonding at the fish pond with your family and then the two of us got into trouble because we were fighting over who would cook the pork and chicken barbecue first-" he narrated while putting the barbecue rice on the paper plate.
"But you let me because I want to be the one to use the fan and spread the sauce and then you'll turn it over when it's done." I cut him off and then took a stick to taste the chicken feet.
"You still remember that?" he asked fraying a smile as we looked back at the past. I nodded while biting the chicken feet because this is my favorite even though they say it's dirty. Mine is chicken feet and for him, it's intestine.
"If the two of us are messy, Marz is even messier because they are the first to hook a fish in the fish pond, but the funny thing about their contest is that no one won because they make so much noise and they didn't catch even one fish." I chewed and spat the bones in the empty pouch.
"Sir, here is the royal you asked to buy." I was even more excited when the bodyguard arrived with a royal plus an ice cube because this is what I always pair when eating barbecue. I secretly whispered 'yes' and then ate rice that I mixed with pork barbecue. The two of us just use our hands because the food tastes better with the Filipino style of eating. Even though I came from a well-off, Mommy taught me how to use hands when eating. We even used to have Budol fight with the maids and guards when Mommy was alive. When I remembered that, I stopped eating.
"Why Heart? Do you want any other food? Just tell me and I'll buy it for you." Marc quickly cleaned his hands in front of me and was about to go out to buy what I wanted, but I held out his arm to stop him.
"It's okay, Heart. I just remembered when Mommy was still alive." I smiled bitterly and looked away from him. He returned to his seat and I began to eat quietly again.
"Would you like to go for a walk after we eat? Get some fresh air on the beach and there's an activity at the resort right now, maybe you want to check it out." I appreciate that he's trying to divert me on other things to forget all my problems, so I decided to give it to him.
"Re-ally? Let's go then!" He lit a smile on his face then grabbed a tissue to clean my lips.
"There's sauce on your lips," he said and after eating we cleaned up and went back to the safe house to change. I wore a fiery red high waist short and white top then a pair of white Havaianas flip flops.
I first came out of the safe house with my bodyguards and waited for Marc at the main door. I thought he was still inside fixing his clothes but I was absolutely surprised to see him standing next to the tent on the sand and carrying...
"Wait, is he holding a Korean lantern?!" Immediately, I ran to where he was standing, and with so much excitement when I confirmed that he was holding a Korean lantern, I almost fell on the sand and the funniest thing was that my bodyguards were also chasing after me.
"Careful. You might scrape your ankle again." He held my hand carefully helping me regain my balance wearing that smile again of genuine happiness.
"Here, one for you and one for me." - Him
I smiled happily like a child fascinated by the beauty of lighting a lantern and letting it float up to the sky after writing a wish. Without further ado, we walked through the white sand, a lantern in one hand, and between us are our interlaced fingers while the guards are watching behind.
When we arrived at the main hotel, everyone was holding colorful lanterns. I saw some couples writing down their wishes on the lantern and there were also families enjoying their bonding time. From a distance is the host standing on the small stage reminding everyone to get their lanterns near the stage. The whole view was greatly inspired by the Korean lantern festival but with a touch of Pinoy feast modification on the beach. On every corner, there are seafood displays and summer refreshments that kids can enjoy.
While my eyes were wandering, Marc guided me to a reserved spot, and he gave me a marker. Since this is on the spot, I don't have anything to write as a wish. The bodyguards also joined since the crew wearing sky blue shirts gave them lanterns. I eyed them in agreement to enjoy the activity as well considering it a gift for ensuring my safety here. Beside me is Marc who's smiling like a child while writing a love letter to his crush. Eventually, I wrote my wish. At exactly 9 pm, everyone lit their lanterns, and the host countdown from 10 to 1. The crowd counted together and at the last count, we raised our lanterns, and my eyes fixed on Marc who was checking me with his eyes filled with light reflected from the lantern. His happiness radiated straight to me.
We followed the lanterns that were simultaneously flown by everyone who attended the Apple Resort. Everyone applauded and the guards behind us kept taking pictures. When I looked at them, they immediately returned to their place while hiding their phones. I signaled, "It's okay" so they smiled and took pictures again. My heart beat erratically when I felt Marc's gaze on me and held my hand softly. I looked down at our hands and he lifted my face then I saw in his eyes how deep his love.
"So what is your wish?" I asked curiously because I noticed earlier that he turned his back slightly to me and don't want to show what he had written on the lantern.
"Secret," he whispered and flashed that silly smile as he held both my hands facing me. Suddenly, he knelt in front of me making the crowd's attention turn to us.
"What are you doing?" I gasped when romantic music filled the air and the people started murmuring.
"Jessica Fortalejo, may I have this dance?"
Undoubtedly, I said "Yes," and the crew facilitating the event put a handmade garland on our necks. We mouthed 'thanks' and Marc stood as I placed my hand on his shoulder while his hands were on my waist. It looks like we are the crowd's favorite after having the first dance in the center. Some were taking pictures while we were dancing and as the waves kept crashing against the shore and the lanterns beautifully going up in the sky, the others followed our lead. As we danced in the center circle, my eyes locked on this thoughtful man. His gleaming smile tells me that everything will be fine and I can't wish for anything more.
"I wish to see your beautiful smiles every day. Your smiles will always be the apple of my eye since the day we first met." He finally spoke before the music faded.